Parenting Forum

Ludo

Copying this here on the suggestion of a mod from the Parenting forum:

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Is it just me, or has the parenting forum gone to complete sh*t in the last few weeks? The amount of trolling and pointless arguing is gone mad. People can't seem to just give their opinion on something without being rude and insulting.

Some people need to learn some basic manners. Just because you are posting on an anonymous forum is no excuse for ignorance.

Mods need to step up here or this forum will be a waste of space. In fact, of the four mods on this forum, there is only one I have seen on here recently that I know of. Are the others gone inactive?

Quality

I have to agree with Ludo.

People seem to be allowed to come on and say what they want in any manner they like.

leeroybrown

I read that thread this morning and it was a real train wreck. I don't think anyone exactly covered themselves in glory there.

Sherifu

The thread title was it's best feature. Some of the comments did get a bit personal I felt.

While they did make valid points, they could have been put a lot better.

TequilaMockingBird

leeroybrown wrote: »

I read that thread this morning and it was a real train wreck. I don't think anyone exactly covered themselves in glory there.

Read it this evening. Its got a lot worse.

TequilaMockingBird

Sherifu wrote: »

The thread title was it's best feature. Some of the comments did get a bit personal.

Thanks, I do like a little drama. *Jazz Hands*

Ludo

Funnily enough the "drinking while pregnant" thread in the Pregnancy sub-forum descended as a result of the same type of comments. Plenty of examples of it recently.

Some of them deserve a slap...but that is a whole other discussion

leeroybrown

Just to clarify 'anyone' as it's been taken out of context above - sueme's liking of drama really didn't help either.

Quality

Ludo wrote: »

Funnily enough the "drinking while pregnant" thread in the Pregnancy sub-forum descended as a result of the same type of comments. Plenty of examples of it recently.

Some of them deserve a slap...but that is a whole other discussion

Jesus did you have to bring that up??:o:o

I am still waiting on social services to bang down the door, so they can tell me that they are going to take my child from me after birth..:eek:

Quality

leeroybrown wrote: »

Just to clarify 'anyone' as it's been taken out of context above - sueme's liking of drama really didn't help either.

Its called a rant... Its a womans thing.:cool:

Ludo

Quality wrote: »

Jesus did you have to bring that up??:o:o

I am still waiting on social services to bang down the door, so they can tell me that they are going to take my child from me after birth..:eek:

Sorry Quality

TequilaMockingBird

leeroybrown wrote: »

Just to clarify 'anyone' as it's been taken out of context above - sueme's liking of drama really didn't help either.

I got your implication first time, don't worry.

It was a rant. Simple as. I didn't think the levels of "Your a ****e parent" were necessary or in context, then it disolved into a troll-fest. Saying that the majority of posters were courteous and polite, which is all that is expected.

randylonghorn

Don't really frequent the parenting forum, so can't / won't comment on it specifically.

Couple of standard questions to think about though (addressed to all users, not anyone in particular) ...

... If you are unhappy about posts, have you reported them? Mods aren't around all the time, they have their own lives to lead, and reported posts help them immensely to zone in on any potential problems when they do log on.

... Are you responding to what you consider trollish posts / arguing with the "trolls"? If they really are trolls, this is exactly what they want, so by getting into an argument with them rather than ignoring them, you are perpetuating the problem.

... Are you sure these are all trolls, or perhaps some of them are people who just don't agree with you? You'll find that happens now and again in life, especially on forums for discussion. (Mind you, disagreement does not include being told "you're a ***** parent", if that actually happened!)

Quality

You see that is the problem, whilst the majority of people will make comments in a mannerly fashion you have a few that will go straight for the balls, I wasnt sure if this was their personal beliefs or if this was just trolling.

On questioning two of the people that I would find to be trolls today, I found out that one is only a child himself and that the other says and I quote

Now I have kids, I can be smug and comment on anyone else's parenting..

Nevyn

If you have a problem with a post report it do not get into an interpersonal tit for tat.

ntlbell

Quality wrote: »

You see that is the problem, whilst the majority of people will make comments in a mannerly fashion you have a few that will go straight for the balls, I wasnt sure if this was their personal beliefs or if this was just trolling.

On questioning two of the people that I would find to be trolls today, I found out that one is only a child himself and that the other says and I quote

Let me try and dumb it down a bit..


You asked someone

"do you even have kids"
This implies that to have an opinion on kids you have to have one of your own this is you being smug.

I said sarcasticaly I can be smug I have kids.

Now if you need anymore clarification give me a call and I'll talk really slowly.

Quality

Now, not trying to start trouble thaed, but I am not one to just report without a bit of backround. If it is someones personal belief I dont think I should need report it. They are entitled to their opinion.

Now since I have only found out today that Magic Marker and NTL are just blatent trolls, I will have no hesitation in reporting posts when my ban is up next week.

Quality

ntlbell wrote: »

Let me try and dumb it down a bit..


You asked someone

"do you even have kids"
This implies that to have an opinion on kids you have to have one of your own this is you being smug.

I said sarcasticaly I can be smug I have kids.

Now if you need anymore clarification give me a call and I'll talk really slowly.

Report posted for personal abuse

the_syco

ntlbell wrote: »

You asked someone

"do you even have kids"
This implies that to have an opinion on kids you have to have one of your own this is you being smug.

I said sarcasticaly I can be smug I have kids.

Fully agree with the point made here. Even though it's a parenting forum, it seems that to be part of the elite, you must have had a child. How having a child makes you any better at raising a child is unknown, as no cert is needed to have one, it does seem that some people think that by having a child, you magically know how to raise one. The mind boggles.

Nevyn

I just love the fact the modutils functionality means I can ban and pm 5 posters at once.

The charter of the parenting forum states everyone is welcome to poster even if they are not parents but other peoples opinons and prenting styles are to be respected and all posting is to be civil.

http://wiki.boards.ie/wiki/Board:Parenting

For those of you who are banned.

The parenting forum is for discussing all things related to the rearing of children It is not just for parents but guardians, aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone else who has been a child and been parented.

From the charter of this forum.

From the charter of this forum.

"REMEMBER that parenting is a subject which is extremely close to people's hearts, and try not to troll or flame.

Make allowances for the fact that some people dont think exactly like you do, and therefore will have different styles of parenting... Remember that just because they are different, doesn't mean they are wrong."

For those of you that are not the full charter is here
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055315003

Read it, abide by it or get banned.

Quality

the_syco wrote: »

Fully agree with the point made here. Even though it's a parenting forum, it seems that to be part of the elite, you must have had a child. How having a child makes you any better at raising a child is unknown, as no cert is needed to have one, it does seem that some people think that by having a child, you magically know how to raise one. The mind boggles.

I think that is the problem syco....

Most of us are posting for a bit of help or friendly feedback. Not to be attacked for our parenting styles. Its different strokes for different folks.
And I see you thanked NTL's post. He would be the person that stated that

now that he has kids he can be as smug as he wants.

I asked a poster had he kids earlier as he was being very rude to the original poster.

I think that whether you have kids or not does make a difference when you are posting about children.

My views on children and my parenting views before I had children are completely different to how I raise my children now.

It is not as easy as it looks, and whoever thinks they know all the answers should write a book they would be a millionaire by the end of the month.

Its trial and error, I dont see how listening to abuse from people is going to help you raise your child any better.

ntlbell

Quality wrote: »

now that he has kids he can be as smug as he wants.

I asked a poster had he kids earlier as he was being very rude to the original poster.
.

Eventually the penny will drop.

ntlbell wrote: »

Let me try and dumb it down a bit..


You asked someone

"do you even have kids"
This implies that to have an opinion on kids you have to have one of your own this is you being smug.

I said sarcasticaly I can be smug I have kids.

Now if you need anymore clarification give me a call and I'll talk really slowly.

sometroll wrote:

I'm making a very valid point, before I had my own kids i was unable to comment on anyone else's parentig because "you don't even have kids!"

Now I have kids, I can be smug and comment on anyone else's parenting..

even tho I still don't have a clue! it's great!<----see? sarcasm?

Quality

ntlbell wrote: »

Eventually the penny will drop.

Post reported for personal abuse.

pirelli

Thaedydal wrote: »

I just love the fact the modutils functionality means I can ban and pm 5 posters at once.

The charter of the parenting forum states everyone is welcome to poster even if they are not parents but other peoples opinons and prenting styles are to be respected and all posting is to be civil.

http://wiki.boards.ie/wiki/Board:Parenting

For those of you who are banned.



For those of you that are not the full charter is here
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055315003

Read it, abide by it or get banned.

I dont belive that we need to start a new thread. However on this topic there was another thread about physical safety of children on outdoor activities and the posters were not anonymous but regular posters. Thaedydal became just another poster and if she posted a warning, dont be quick to say this was relevant to me or others as it wasn't and i for one did not derail the thread. A moderator of a forum that quotes acts of irish law and banning people should realise that as a moderator ( that clearly some people listen too) they ( the moderator ) are de railing the thread through their ignorance.

Thaedydal your parenting charter seriously needs child protection, it's very childish . How can you ban some people for their parenting opinions. Your seem to believe there is a child protection act in ireland and start advising people to adhere to it etc. The fact that your blatantly wrong highlights how unnatural a moderator you can be . Your too personally involved in that thread to take such a bias view and enforce it with banning people. Please unban some of the people you banned.

Heinrich

Open again?

TequilaMockingBird

I was banned from the Parenting Forum for a week. I don't agree with this. (Surprisingly enough.)

Thead has asked me to take it to Feedback, so may I jump aboard your thread Ludo?

That was a nasty, troll-filled thread, and in my opinion would put alot of parents off posting in Parenting. I have looked and I can't see where I broke the charter, except by perhaps not reporting enough threads.

Heinrich

sueme wrote: »

I was banned from the Parenting Forum for a week. I don't agree with this. (Surprisingly enough.)

Thead has asked me to take it to Feedback, so may I jump aboard your thread Ludo?

That was a nasty, troll-filled thread, and in my opinion would put alot of parents off posting in Parenting. I have looked and I can't see where I broke the charter, except by perhaps not reporting enough threads.

When in a hole stop digging.:D

ntlbell

Quality wrote: »

Post reported for personal abuse.

Nevyn

pirelli wrote: »

I dont belive that we need to start a new thread. However on this topic there was another thread about physical safety of children on outdoor activities and the posters were not anonymous but regular posters. Thaedydal became just another poster and if she posted a warning, dont be quick to say this was relevant to me or others as it wasn't and i for one did not derail the thread.

Oh boo hoo people can't tell the differnece between me contributing to a thread and me issuing a mod directive ? Get a grip.

pirelli wrote: »

A moderator of a forum that quotes acts of irish law and banning people should realise that as a moderator ( that clearly some people listen too) they ( the moderator ) are de railing the thread through their ignorance.

Did I say it was an act of irish law ?
IF you wanted to query that you could have pmed me or started a new thread but you choose to derail the thread.

pirelli wrote: »

Thaedydal your parenting charter seriously needs child protection, it's pathethic . How can you ban some people for their parenting opinions. Your seem to believe there is a child protetcion act in ireland and start advising people to adhere to it etc. The fact that your blatantly wrong highlights how unnatural a moderator you can be . Your too personally involved in that thread to take such a bias view and enforce it with banning people.

*yawn*

pirelli wrote: »

Please unban some of the people you banned.

no.

ntlbell

sueme wrote: »

I was banned from the Parenting Forum for a week. I don't agree with this. (Surprisingly enough.)

Thead has asked me to take it to Feedback, so may I jump aboard your thread Ludo?

That was a nasty, troll-filled thread, and in my opinion would put alot of parents off posting in Parenting. I have looked and I can't see where I broke the charter, except by perhaps not reporting enough threads.

your child got some sun burn, two days later and many pages later you're still crapping on about it.

Give yourself a rest please

Ludo

5 people banned over this? Seems a tad excessive. This could have been avoided with earlier mod intervention and only 3 people come to my mind as possibly deserving a ban.

This is not meant to be a criticism of you Thaedydal. You are only one person and cannot be expected to spend time policing the forum with your other commitments.

I do believe there needs to be more mods on this forum though to help you. Maybe I am wrong here but are the other three mods actively involved in the forum? I apologise in advance if they are but I haven't noticed them in a long time.