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  • 07-07-2008 1:07am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium.

    A sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

    "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell.

    "What a way to die."

    As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.

    While she looked at him in disbelieving graboobude, he asked,

    "Do you swallow?"

    "No!" she shrieked, aghast.

    So, he dropped her.

    As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

    "Do you screw?" he asked.

    "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

    He dropped her, too.

    The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance.

    As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

    "I swallow! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

    "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When I got home from work last night, my Missus demanded that I take her out to some place expensive...................


    So I took her to a petrol station

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.

    She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.

    She proclaims "I want to join your biker club".

    The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join.

    So the biker asks her "You have a bike?"

    The little old lady says

    "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.

    The biker asks her "Do you smoke?"

    The little old lady says

    "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool".

    The biker is impressed and asks

    "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?".

    The little old lady says

    "No, but I've been swung around by my nipples".


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