Quickies 2

rocky25

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,

"7 feet tall, 350 lbs., 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs. each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor.

The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him.

He asks, "Are you Ok??"

In a very weak voice Mike says,

"Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"
The big dude says,

"When I saw the curious look on your face,

I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

"I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs., have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."

Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!!

I thought you said "Turn Around."
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Preggers,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ioTyrgPH-E

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Two Red Indians and an Englishman were walking through the woods.

All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Englishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,..

'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.

If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave.

The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Immediately, there was the answer.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Englishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.

As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,

'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!

It is bigger than those the Indians found..

There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might

'Woo ooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Like the others, he then heard an answering call,

'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............

NAKED ENGLISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!

The Bollox

I love the last one

reminded me of this one:

three blondes were walking through the woods one day when they spot some strange tracks on the ground. after examining them for some time the first blonde announces "aw look, rabbit tracks, how cute" and looks hopefully around for the rabbit

the second blonde shakes her head in disbelief "they look nothing like rabbit tracks, they're definitely bear tracks" and looks around fearfully

then the third blonde says "you're both WAY off, they're definitely deer tracks". the three women stand around bickering for a good 20 minutes before the train hits them