Biting your lip?

delly

Just wondering does anybody else have the experience I have of seeing something so annoying childwise, that you nearly want to ring somebody's neck, but end up biting your lip?

I'll give an example. Before I became a dad, I got very annoyed if I saw kids knocking about in a car without a seatbelt and there parents being oblivious to the danger, but thats because seeing such a thing as bad is a bit of a no brainer.

Since however I had my baby girl I seem to see things all the time which really shouldn't be. Now, I'm not saying I'm uber dad no.1, and as a first timer we all make some mistakes, but sometimes my head explodes when I see other parents ignoring something which they should sort. My most recent example was when I was shoping in Tesco and a lady passed by with her 4 to 6 week old baby in a carseat in a trolley. As I turned to have a look, I was shocked to see the baby had no head support and was consequently bobbing from left to right. I was so tempted to point out to the mother that her babies head was in a delicate position but refrained in case she thought I was a psyco stalker or similar.

As I said, i'm not trying to indicate I know it all, but some things are obvious, no?

The Hill Billy

I know exactly what you mean.

One thing that really gets my goat is seeing infants out in cold weather wearing totally unsuitable clothes (sometimes without even any shoes or socks) while mummy/daddy looks like they are dressed for a polar expedition.

Khannie

I hear where you're coming from, but at the end of the day they're the parents and we all make mistakes.

If someone I didn't know came up to me to point out a mistake I'd made, I could take it very badly, or very well. I'm not sure tbh. Half of me says I'd be glad, the other half says I'd tell you to f*ck right off.

Don't forget.....we all survive these little mistakes that our parents make.

delly

Khannie wrote: »

If someone I didn't know came up to me to point out a mistake I'd made, I could take it very badly, or very well. I'm not sure tbh. Half of me says I'd be glad, the other half says I'd tell you to f*ck right off.

Well thats just it, I knew I could say something that would be for the benefit of that baby, but nobody is going to react well to such advice as well as the fact that there could have been a giant of a daddy around the corner.

Kenjd

We all make mistakes as parents. But it seems these days that the opportunity to make mistakes is getting easier/greater. Think of our parents, Driving us around with no booster seats, or car seats for that matter. They didn't have electronic thermometers. No baby monitors. No child proof caps/doors/locks!
And they did ok! My god how will i forgive them.
I'd say don't worry 'bout it and just do the best for your own cos if you look for these mistakes your definitely going to find them.
I have 3 kids and gave up worrying what other people are doing a long time ago. Although I still do tsk tsk but couldn't be ars*d saying anything and never was! Remember there are an awful lot of twits out there!

delly

Kenjd wrote: »

We all make mistakes as parents. But it seems these days that the opportunity to make mistakes is getting easier/greater. Think of our parents, Driving us around with no booster seats, or car seats for that matter. They didn't have electronic thermometers. No baby monitors. No child proof caps/doors/locks!

No, your dead right as my own mother has pointed out similar to me on occasion. Its just that when I saw this babies head nearly lying on its shoulder I just couldn't understand why the mother couldn't see what I could. Its was that obvious.

slarkin123

Seeing kids with no seatbelts, and the parents being buckled up drives me mad. They're bouncing around in the back and the parents don't give a damn. Drives me mental

The Hill Billy

I've never opened my mouth to another parent in instances like we've been discussing. However, there was one time 7 years ago now that I've regretted not saying anything & it still haunts me.

Myself & Mrs Billy were in Rome on our funnymoon & were strolling around the Forum early one afternoon. It was seriously sunny & 30C+. A young couple were asleep on a bench with their child (maybe around 18 months old). The three of them were absolutely red in the face. Now they could have been just flushed from the heat, but thinking afterwards about the kid's skin tone & blonde hair all I could think of was the possibility of 3rd degree burns, severe dehydration & heat stroke. I still mentally kick myself for not waking them up & the thoughts of what sort of state that child was in afterwards scares the bejaysus out of me.

Khannie

slarkin123 wrote: »

Seeing kids with no seatbelts, and the parents being buckled up drives me mad. They're bouncing around in the back and the parents don't give a damn. Drives me mental

+1. Saw it recently. One of the children was in the front. They were going the opposite direction, but I wouldn't bite my lip in this scenario given the opportunity. I think where you're endangering the childs life then the state (or someone else) needs to step in. It's not just bad parenting at that point.

delly wrote: »

when I saw this babies head nearly lying on its shoulder I just couldn't understand why the mother couldn't see what I could. Its was that obvious.

I hear ya. It's one of those things....I'm sure I do stuff that others might look at as obvious.

Hill Billy: Don't beat yourself up too much about it. Next time you'll do something.

Loopy

It is frustrating when you see these things and you want to comment but it is really none of our business.

However, I was in tesco's a while back and there was a little boy messing around (doing absolutely no harm, just bored shitless) he was playing around with the chain at the checkout while the mother was packing her stuff. She asked him to stop and he didn't so she belted him really hard. He started screaming crying (she hit him VERY hard) and then she hits him again So he cries even louder. I'm packing my stuff at the next checkout and am biting my lip cos he was a lovely gentle little boy who had done nothing wrong, he was merely swinging the chain. Anyway she kept hitting him cos he wouldn't stop crying so I very calmly said 'If you stop hitting him, he will stop crying'.. Why do you keep hitting him? She proceeded to roar at me to mind my own business etc and I just said look at your beautiful child, how can you keep hurting him like that. She sort of crumbled then and had the grace to feel ashamed. Maybe it made a difference, maybe not.. hopefully it did, I just wanted to take the child away from her..she didn't deserve him imo.

My point is I cannot stand when I see parents not leaving their children be, constantly at them and not allowing them to be children.

MJOR

:mad:

slarkin123 wrote: »

Seeing kids with no seatbelts, and the parents being buckled up drives me mad. They're bouncing around in the back and the parents don't give a damn. Drives me mental

+1 big time i am not even a mommy yet or pregnant but it drives me insane.

Another thing is kids with really wet nappies... you know when they can barely walk and their bum is huge and you know its because the nappy has been on them hours

Kenjd

I was thinking about this thread at work last night! Yeah I know!!
Anyway, it reminded me of an incident a few weeks back.
Myself and a buddy were in Dublin city for a gig. About 9 in the evening. We were coming for Temple Bar to cross the Halfpenny Bridge and I saw 2 junkies, obviously Mum and Dad, dragging this 5 year old boy between them. They were out of it. Trying to rob beer/money/anything of homeless people. It made me sick and sad. That this poor unfortunate boy had to endure a life like that. It really did upset me.
Now that is the s**t that we have to get worked up about!

Hotblack Desiato

You should've called the Gardai. That child is counting on decent people to protect him and not look the other way.

Kenjd

I could have called the guards but what would I say? Should i have followed them to get a good description? Do you not think that the Guards know these people? I'm sure somewhere in the system that some social worker knows exactly what is going on in that family situation but is doing their best to rectify it, of course, in a totally politically correct way.

nice1franko

ninja900 wrote: »

You should've called the Gardai. That child is counting on decent people to protect him and not look the other way.

I'll tell you how that would've went:

You: "hello guards. I just saw two yack balls and they had a kid with them and they were heading over the ha'penny bridge."

Guards: "right, then what happened?"

You: "no, that's it. they're smack heads you see, it's not right"

Guards: righto, we'll send a patrol car around :rolleyes:

You: I'm good.

Walls

Heading down Middle Abbey Street I saw a grown man, screaming and sneering at his baby boy at the top of his voice. The mother of the child was holding him, and making cooing noises ("No, it's all right, it will be alright soon, don't worry"). Dad was getting himself up into a fit which judging by his body language was going to be physical. If they had been at home, that child would have been toast.

Now THAT is when I should have spoken up. The Mum alone should be told to cope herself on, Dad was sociological.

stovelid

Kids in cars without belts or kids being smacked too hard/humiliated in public would be the ones that get me boiling.

Redpunto

We were in omni and saw a fella beating the sh*te out of his kid who was sitting in the back of the car. When hubby went over to politely tell the man to refrain from hurting his child (!) he scarpered. We rang the guards but they were too late, we got the reg details so dunno what happened bout it.

Hotblack Desiato

nice1franko wrote: »

I'll tell you how that would've went:

You: "hello guards. I just saw two yack balls and they had a kid with them and they were heading over the ha'penny bridge."

Guards: "right, then what happened?"

You: "no, that's it. they're smack heads you see, it's not right"

Guards: righto, we'll send a patrol car around :rolleyes:

You: I'm good.

Maybe. Maybe not, though. Your attitude is irresponsible (i.e. refusing to take any responsibility) if the authorities are informed of a risk to a child and then take no action it is their choice, but also their responsibility.

Tbh I'm sick of this "what's the point of complaining" attitude we get so much of here, we love to give out but never to people who can actually make a difference, just to each other.

nice1franko

ninja900 wrote: »

Maybe. Maybe not, though. Your attitude is irresponsible (i.e. refusing to take any responsibility) if the authorities are informed of a risk to a child and then take no action it is their choice, but also their responsibility.

Tbh I'm sick of this "what's the point of complaining" attitude we get so much of here, we love to give out but never to people who can actually make a difference, just to each other.

I think you're missing my point. I'd be all for letting the authorities know in situations where there's actually something to report. For example, this post:

Redpunto wrote: »

We were in omni and saw a fella beating the sh*te out of his kid who was sitting in the back of the car. When hubby went over to politely tell the man to refrain from hurting his child (!) he scarpered. We rang the guards but they were too late, we got the reg details so dunno what happened bout it.

There's something to report here. What I was trying to say is that if you report to the gardai that you saw two junkies with a kid in town they can't do anything about it.

gubby

Well, as some other posters pointed out that perhaps we have all made mistakes. I know I have. But it would make a diffirence how you approach someone too. nobody like to be critizied. years ago when I had my first child ( I cringe when I think of this) I had to go out to the post office one november evening and popped my little girl in her buggy.. I think she was maybe 6months. anyway, on the street I met my local postman and he stopped to chat (those were the days) we chatted for a few minuits and he was admiring my baby, he crouched down and held her bare foot (no socks).. he didnt say a word but I got the message. if you feel like saying something... be kind and choose your words carefully. just try to imagin how you would like to be approached if you were doing something wrong. That happend me over 30 yrs ago and I still think kindly of that post man. god bless him

Nevyn

Watching a skangery mother handing her 4 year old and 6 year old bottles of lucazade alert after they trash the buscuit isle in the supermarket and hearing her bemoaning how they were so hyper as she gives them the drink to shut them up. /headdesk.

stovelid

Thaedydal wrote: »

Watching a skangery mother handing her 4 year old and 6 year old bottles of lucazade alert after they trash the buscuit isle in the supermarket and hearing her bemoaning how they were so hyper as she gives them the drink to shut them up. /headdesk.

:D

lostinnappies

its just pure laziness on their part for not BOTHERING with seat belts or proper clothes. Maybe im just over doing it but my children ALWAYS have their seat belt on, i triple check.

January

When we were younger the car didn't move unless we had our seatbelts on.

It's horrible not seeing kids buckled up in cars.

John Mason

I really had to hold myself back outside Holles Street hospital last week.

There was a child i would say no more then 2, hugely overweight, swigging from a bottle of coke like he hadnt had a drink in months and his father handed him a mars bar

people like that shouldnt have kids

pubpub

God I hate seeing people who leave their babies/kids in cars on their own - and i have seen very young babies been left.

Another thing that really bugged me a couple of years ago I was in the cinema on a Friday night to see the "Manchurian Candidate" it was a 15PG - the film hadn't started and a couple walked in with a little girl who was about three or four and sat behind us- I couldn't believe - "The Incredibles" was on the same time and I thought they were in the wrong screen - so i turned to the mother and said "The Incredibles is on next door" she looked at me like i'd two heads and was like "no we are here to see this"..... couldn't believe it brining a little girl into an adult film and there were some scenes of strong violence and there were sex scenes as well..... Obviously this couple weren't bother with babysitter and just brought her.

And while i'm on the subject - babies who can't walk wearing shoes/runners .... Why oh why... There is no nead for a baby to wear shoes, do people not realise that babies need to feel the ground while learning to walk - and don't get me started on nike or addidas baby runners...... I did say something to a friend of mine that her toddler might be better without the shoes and the look she gave me - next time I'll bite my lip.

Also to the list baby walkers, and tea in bottles (yuck)!

di11on

I've always found it funny...

To me, bringing a child into this world and bringing them up to give them the best chance in life is one of the most important things a person can do. Yet, the educational system won't teach them a single thing about how to do it well.

Some of the dreadful things you see are down to ignorance - some are down to laziness... but a little education can go an awful long way.... people should be taught the basics of bringing up children in school... in my opinion.

the glass woman

pubpub wrote: »

babies who can't walk wearing shoes/runners .... Why oh why... There is no nead for a baby to wear shoes, do people not realise that babies need to feel the ground while learning to walk - and don't get me started on nike or addidas baby runners......

I must say I do put soft little shoes on my 1 yr old the odd time when we go out, but thats because I want to keep his feet warmer than they would be in just socks. Or if I knew he'd be crawling somewhere outdoors, like a playground etc.. I'd never put them on him indoors though. And like that I got a present of two pairs of nike trainers but i never put them on him. Such a waste of money but people still buy them...

littlebitdull

Other people's parenting choices are sometimes hard to live with. But lets face full facts here folks, there is a vast difference between seeing a drunken/junkie parent draging a child along and someone whos baby looks slightly uncomfortable in a car seat!

My three children are a long time past the newborn stage. Two of them never even had first stage car seats, never mind head supports while in them. And yet ... their heads seem to have survived the experience.

OP ... grow up. Being a parent is hard at times, no-one would appriciate a new dad/mum telling them in a supermarket how they were possibly damaging their child. Especially when its not true. How many of us adults were reared with head support? A big fat zero ....

In my day (and I still have kids in primary school...) there were no dedicated car spaces for parents, no baby trolleys, no travel systems. My elder two kids were out of car seats at 6, as per the guidelines at the time, my younger ones have to stay in them for 5 years past that, as the guidelines have changed.

Guidelines change all the time, with my eldest I was told in the hospital to get him to sleep on his tummy as that was safest, yet two years later I was told never to let my baby sleep on her tummy.

As a parent you make the best choices to you. As a new parent on your first child you do become very self rightous, but a bit of cop on is deffinately needed ...

delly

littlebitdull wrote: »

OP ... grow up. Being a parent is hard at times, no-one would appriciate a new dad/mum telling them in a supermarket how they were possibly damaging their child. Especially when its not true. How many of us adults were reared with head support? A big fat zero ....

Whats to grow up about?

(i) acknowledging that we all make mistakes - CHECK

(ii) stating I don't know it all - CHECK

(iii) plenty of other posters having similar experiences - CHECK

I've heard that line many times about it 'being ok back in my day and it did me no harm' bullshit and thats what it is frankly. Just because somebody managed to survive there childhood intact doesn't mean that a factor of how they were brought up could effect them later.

And on the above note, are you actually saying that a newborn will suffer no damage from having its head unsupported, are you for real like? I can understand some of your points, but I can't quite understand that one tbh.