2 Quickies

rocky25

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory.

To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad.

They clapped for 5 minutes.

For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G string.

This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on.

The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked.

The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down.

But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.

The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"

She replied with a wicked smile,

"Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys go hunting.

Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.

When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand.

After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.

He rushes back to Jerry and yells,

"I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did.

When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound.

When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep.

But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said,

'Should we take them with us or eat them here?'

I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

dreamr

haha nice!

this one i think is hilarious:

One day there was this farmer. He had 3 daughters and they each had a date on Saturday night, adn the farmer decided to lock them all in there rooms so he could talk to their dates before they went out.

The first date comes to the door, and the farmer answers it. The first date says, “Hi my name is Joe, I’m here to take your daughter Flow, to eat some dough.”
The farmer says sure. Soon the second date comes to the door, the date says "hi, I’m Freddy, I’m here to take your daughter Betty, to eat some spaghetti.” The farmer goes sure.
Then the last date comes to the door. he say "hi, my name is Chuck…”
The farmer shot him dead.

rocky25

Good one Dreamr

Steve_o

lol, Rocky, Dreamr very good!!!:D