X Rated Riddles

rocky25

Q: What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What's a mixed feeling?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q: What's the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q: What's the definition of Macho?
A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q: What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: How do New Zealanders practise safe sex?
A: They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it!

Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.

Q: What does a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Q: What's the difference between 'Ooooohhhh' and 'Aaaaahhhh'?
A: About 3 inches.

Q: Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A: For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A: The grip.

Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a Hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: About 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Because breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the Dove is the bird of Peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The Swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: 6 inches is medium. 8 inches is rare.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A: Because they don't have balls to scratch.

chickenhawk

LOL. I haven't heard most of them before which is unusual these days. Cheers!

Dizzyblonde

Very funny

Steve_o

Excellent!!:D

kwestfan08

LOL:D. Very good

Plug

Brilliant:D Love them.