Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Girls Only - No Manginas Allowed!

1212224262731

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 327 ✭✭beca


    Penis Eye wrote: »
    i thought i had patient confidentiality with my doctor! not goin back to him!!!!

    well thats wot you get for havin a penis in your eye! lol


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    Old Timer Sex

    The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you
    remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

    Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

    "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good
    idea!"


    A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their
    conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to
    himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex
    against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
    The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each
    other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get
    to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.
    The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his
    trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..
    Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the
    policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
    Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
    The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,
    the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes
    back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to
    himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them
    what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
    Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
    'Sixty
    years ago that wasn't an electric fence.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,013 ✭✭✭smyff


    haha quality jokes MGH, i guess your not a bore after all :P

    only sleggin. i saw the one about the FBI my dad emailed me it. quality ahahha

    i have one about a cop and a woman speeding ill try n find it


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    Where's Fo???

    Oh Fo????..............Oh Fo????


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Hey Hey Hey Girls!! How are you all? :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Hey Hey Hey Girls!! How are you all? :)

    yay! another new girl i only joined this month aswell, welcome :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    Welcome gals!

    Hopefully we can get a bit of banter going on this thread again!!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Hey Thanks been reading on the site for a few days just signed up there now! Have u got ur date for the aplitudes yet?


    :) - what stage is everyone at?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Hey Thanks been reading on the site for a few days just signed up there now! Have u got ur date for the aplitudes yet?


    :) - what stage is everyone at?

    nope havent heard anything yet, think thats going to be an overused phrase lol first time applying so no idea what to expect apart from waiting :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    LOL :D waiting waiting and loads more waiting by the sounds of things!
    Im not expecting mine any time soon anyway as i only applied a few days ago ... but ive already started on the practise questions :o need to brush up badly!! :)


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    LOL :D waiting waiting and loads more waiting by the sounds of things!
    Im not expecting mine any time soon anyway as i only applied a few days ago ... but ive already started on the practise questions :o need to brush up badly!! :)

    yep well apparently patience is a virtue! unfortunately its not one of my strong points :(

    yeah i had a moment of what does that mean that answer is wrong but when i looked back i didnt read it properly only got 4 wrong but there wasnt much there to go on to see how many you needed right! theres good websites with aptitude tests ill be googling them flat out :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    Welcome gals!

    Hopefully we can get a bit of banter going on this thread again!!!!

    yeah its been a little tumble weedy in here for a while :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    ive been using this site tonight if its any use to you
    http://www.assessmentday.co.uk/ :) Im not very patient either! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    ive been using this site tonight if its any use to you
    http://www.assessmentday.co.uk/ :) Im not very patient either! :pac:

    i'll give that a whirl lol this your first time applying? im a newbie to it all lol:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Yeah first time applying! Im a newbie to it all too if it wasnt for all the info on this site and the recruitment site I wouldnt have a clue! :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Yeah first time applying! Im a newbie to it all too if it wasnt for all the info on this site and the recruitment site I wouldnt have a clue! :rolleyes:

    yeah theres an incredible amount on here thankfully, does take ages to sift through i found the recruitment site is a bit sparse :pac:
    im dreading this running 3miles business :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    oh me too - big time!! I havent done any exercise in about a year Im going to have to get a move on! I cant run the length of myself!!
    hopefully Ill even get to that stage though im too busy thinking about these aplitude tests!! Eeek!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Hey got my IST date today so gonna start cramming! Did you get your letter today?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭dark side


    emz2009 wrote: »
    ive been using this site tonight if its any use to you
    http://www.assessmentday.co.uk/ :) Im not very patient either! :pac:


    Hey Emz - thanks for the link - Those practice tests really gave me the kick up the arse I needed to start studying -- I never realised my maths was so bad - I only got 10 out of 30 on the first practice test - tragic -
    I need to do some serious work on my math!!!!!


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28 everhopefull


    I checked out that link aswell.
    I have a really stupid question though...are they maths questions or simply understanding the passage? Do you know what i mean? Will the questions ever require translating mathematically to work out the answer?
    I hope that makes sense.
    :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭dark side


    I checked out that link aswell.
    I have a really stupid question though...are they maths questions or simply understanding the passage? Do you know what i mean? Will the questions ever require translating mathematically to work out the answer?
    I hope that makes sense.
    :confused:


    I think I understand what you are saying - but maybe not lol

    There is a verbal reasoning test - were you read the passage then anser true false or can't say based on contents of the passage

    Then there is a maths test were you have to do maths calculations to work out the answer - so there are actual maths questions


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28 everhopefull


    What about those particular samples on that link? Were any of them maths based?
    I must sound like a real eejit, but if they ask true, false or cant tell for a question could it ever require any maths?
    e.g... if a statement is made quoting a number e.g 1000 people, but this exact number is not used in the passage but e.g 10,000 people but 10% of this amount is what the statement is asking and oh my dearie me I am totally confused!!!:eek:
    Sorry dark side, you must be confused now too.:confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭dark side


    What about those particular samples on that link? Were any of them maths based?
    I must sound like a real eejit, but if they ask true, false or cant tell for a question could it ever require any maths?
    e.g... if a statement is made quoting a number e.g 1000 people, but this exact number is not used in the passage but e.g 10,000 people but 10% of this amount is what the statement is asking and oh my dearie me I am totally confused!!!:eek:
    Sorry dark side, you must be confused now too.:confused:

    Hi everhopeful - when you click on that link it gives you a practice paper for verbal reasoning

    Somewhere on the writehand side of the pages there is a website address

    www.assesmentday.co.uk if you click on that link it will also show you examples of numerical reasoning tests
    These are different from the verbal reasoning one you saw in that - it will give you tables of information or graphs or pie charts and you have to do maths calculations, there are 4 possible answers eg £10, £20, £30, £40 and after you do your calculation you hope that your calculation is one of the possible 4 lol


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Hey got my IST date today so gonna start cramming! Did you get your letter today?


    hey!! yep i did indeed get mine 2day :D saw the letter and knew what it was, dont know why im so excited but i am :D going to have to double check it doesnt clash with my uni exams so far looks ok!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28 everhopefull


    Thanks darkside have just had a look there and i can see theres a huge difference between verbal reasoning and maths. Doh!:o

    I guess what i kinda meant was, would they ever try and trick you in a verbal reasoing question by rewording a numerical figure? e.g referring to 2 out of 50 as 4%? (hope i got that right! hee hee)

    Yeah i think thats what i meant! I sometimes find it hard to put into words complicated stuff like that!!!:eek:

    Thanks again!!


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Well Done chick :):) - Im all excited too i havent even gotten anywere yet! Wee question see the way you were mentioning the 3 mile run ( have actualy just bought a treadmil - what am i like!) is that not done when you actualy get into g'ville or will they be asking to run 3 miles as part of the selection process? Any help on this would be great :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,013 ✭✭✭smyff


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Well Done chick :):) - Im all excited too i havent even gotten anywere yet! Wee question see the way you were mentioning the 3 mile run ( have actualy just bought a treadmil - what am i like!) is that not done when you actualy get into g'ville or will they be asking to run 3 miles as part of the selection process? Any help on this would be great :)
    nope its only when you get into g'ville. but it always helps if you started running now!!! get the aul fitness up and get into shape if you eventually do get in!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Well Done chick :):) - Im all excited too i havent even gotten anywere yet! Wee question see the way you were mentioning the 3 mile run ( have actualy just bought a treadmil - what am i like!) is that not done when you actualy get into g'ville or will they be asking to run 3 miles as part of the selection process? Any help on this would be great :)


    thanks heres a major stumbling block i need laser on my eyes aparantly wont get in with my vision :( im terrified now!
    but anyway you dont get asked for the selection but they expect you to run it in GV from what ive read here its not assessed if you dont manage it they give you a training schedule to work on the assessed bit is that assault course thats on the deloitte website :)
    i know i got a treadmill last year havent tried running on it but its great to build up stamina especially on rainy days or when you just dont want people to see you..no excuse not to exercise though lol :P read on here aswell that the treadmill can lie to you (naughty devil lol) and that road running is better but if you run on it then progress to the roads you'll do great! i love the t/mill there a blessing...good luck getting fit :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    smyff wrote: »
    nope its only when you get into g'ville. but it always helps if you started running now!!! get the aul fitness up and get into shape if you eventually do get in!!!

    if we dont get in at least we'll all be toned fit and good at aptitude tests:D:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Hi Guys - Thanks for clearing that up :)
    Lol thats one way of looking at it! My eyesight isnt great either and but I thought you could wear glasses ( I never wear them prob the reason they got bad in the first place) why how bad is your eyetest - who mentioned you would need lazer (( if its any help my sister got it done a few years ago and said it was the best thing she has ever had done her eye sight is now perfect where as before she was walking into doors... no kidding!


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Hi Guys - Thanks for clearing that up :)
    Lol thats one way of looking at it! My eyesight isnt great either and but I thought you could wear glasses ( I never wear them prob the reason they got bad in the first place) why how bad is your eyetest - who mentioned you would need lazer (( if its any help my sister got it done a few years ago and said it was the best thing she has ever had done her eye sight is now perfect where as before she was walking into doors... no kidding!

    have a nosey at the last page in the medical forum, thats where i found out so im currently demanding all information from them lol
    i thought glasses were ok aswell but i think they only are if your prescription is low mines a -4 so for the unaided test it wont pass :( ive seen lots of officers with glasses ill just have to bite the bullet and get on with it! booked a consultation so ill see how that goes :eek:
    thats good about your sister lol no more door bruises then :D hopefully i can get it done would be great not to have to worry about contact lenses for nights out and putting on make up!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭emz2009


    Oh i dont know what my eye sight would be in those terms I can see okish - but would need them for driving and seeing things far away if you find out any more info please let me know I might have to join you and get a consultant to check them out! Im going to have a wee look through the medical forum now!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭tickle_monster


    emz2009 wrote: »
    Oh i dont know what my eye sight would be in those terms I can see okish - but would need them for driving and seeing things far away if you find out any more info please let me know I might have to join you and get a consultant to check them out! Im going to have a wee look through the medical forum now!


    awk you should be ok then, im never without my glasses or contacts things are that bad :o in the medical forum one of the girls suggested telling your optician and they'll know if your eyes will pass or not that'd be the handiest thing for you, but doubt you'd need to worry :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    BOO


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    BOO

    Boo who or boo hoo???


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    Oh thank god you're here!! Can we have a good old smutty conversation the way we used to in the old days??!!!!:p


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    If only JVB was still here. The forum is no use without him. He can never be replaced!!

    Im bored might sod off to bed!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    If only JVB was still here. The forum is no use without him. He can never be replaced!!

    Im bored might sod off to bed!

    Not a blo**dy bit of wonder. Died a death has our Board. Think its time I resigned! :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    Not a blo**dy bit of wonder. Died a death has our Board. Think its time I resigned! :rolleyes:


    I wouldnt blame you! If it wasnt for being a mod id jack it in too!! Listen to us two depressed tarts!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    I wouldnt blame you! If it wasnt for being a mod id jack it in too!! Listen to us two depressed tarts!

    Has been a crappy day ( you know the details )
    But there is zero banter like the old days:(

    Everyone in GV but us:(:(

    Deserted:(:(:(

    Well, we'll get in this time chick:):):):)


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    Has been a crappy day ( you know the details )
    But there is zero banter like the old days:(

    Everyone in GV but us:(:(

    Deserted:(:(:(

    Well, we'll get in this time chick:):):):)


    You know I know!!

    How dare they abandon us and clear off to GV!!

    I hope so!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    Then it'll be us doing drill in the sunshine!!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    Then it'll be us doing drill in the sunshine!!!!


    Me with my taxi doors!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,013 ✭✭✭smyff


    am i not entertaining :|


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    Me with my taxi doors!

    Nooooo!!! There was a bit of a chubster also, forgot to mention that earlier! Ass in danger of getting its own area code!!!:eek:
    Those trousers DO NOT FLATTER!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    smyff wrote: »
    am i not entertaining :|

    You? ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    Nooooo!!! There was a bit of a chubster also, forgot to mention that earlier! Ass in danger of getting its own area code!!!:eek:
    Those trousers DO NOT FLATTER!!!


    My ass would fill a District on its own!

    Seen PSM online, maybe she will join us!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭PapaYankeeGirl


    smyff wrote: »
    am i not entertaining :|

    Your total randomness would keep anyone entertained for hours!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,012 ✭✭✭MrsGeneHunt


    My ass would fill a District on its own!

    Seen PSM online, maybe she will join us!

    Dont talk twaddle you have a lovely ass. I meant that in the non lesbian way!!! (obviously):p

    Need PSM for some "normal" blabber!
    Come on over!


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,013 ✭✭✭smyff


    You? ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!:D
    haha i thought you didnt like my blahing lol. thought you were wayyyy more mature than that :D its hard to be good craic on the tinternet though.
    My ass would fill a District on its own!

    Seen PSM online, maybe she will join us!
    thought it was small?! :confused:
    Your total randomness would keep anyone entertained for hours!
    if by randomness you mean gems of wisdom :D:D::D:D:D:D:DDDDDDDD


Advertisement