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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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    #272
    CtrlSource
    Registered Users Posts: 825 ✭✭✭CtrlSource


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    That is the kind of thing I'd ask tbh :o

    You and the rest of the ignorant masses ;) The amount of people who see a wheelchair and assume paralysis is shockin'!

    But 'twas hilarious at the time


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    #273
    chopperbyrne
    Registered Users Posts: 11,005 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    CtrlSource wrote: »
    You and the rest of the ignorant masses ;) The amount of people who see a wheelchair and assume paralysis is shockin'!

    But 'twas hilarious at the time

    Aaaahhhhh, I thought you were pissed off that someone would be that blunt about it.

    I was going to say that it's a legitimate question as not all wheelchair users are paralysed.


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    #274
    beautiation
    Closed Accounts Posts: 381 ✭✭beautiation


    Me: "f**k, i'm starving. Are they ever gonna serve us? I can't get their attention, flash that waiter there would ya?"
    Her: *silence*
    Me: *flustered* "Flash the cash I mean! Flash the cash!"
    Cue me waving a twenty quid note in the air madly like I'm in a strip club.

    We did go out for a while though, so it wasn't a deal breaker!


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    #275
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    CtrlSource wrote: »
    You and the rest of the ignorant masses ;) The amount of people who see a wheelchair and assume paralysis is shockin'!

    But 'twas hilarious at the time


    To be fair now it is pertinent.

    But I'd say people assume your paralysed because of your age.

    The ignorant masses prefer to assume that wheelchair users are mentally deficient. :P


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    #276
    S.I.R
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,837 ✭✭✭S.I.R


    " you'd make a great lesbian "


    Used that before... with mixed opinions.


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    #277
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    S.I.R wrote: »
    " you'd make a great lesbian "


    Used that before... with mixed opinions.

    The amount of drunken men who use this and think it is appealing is unreal.


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    #278
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    "Wanna share this needle?"


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    #279
    Captain Ginger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Captain Ginger


    "You smell purdy like mother.".

    Enough said.


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    #280
    jazoo
    Registered Users Posts: 355 ✭✭jazoo


    Can i feel your belly button,
    girl says, yea ok
    you say, No I mean from the inside


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    #281
    turf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 243 ✭✭turf


    splits on a bastard?


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    #282
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Wow - did you see what Dale did to Lisa last night on Big Bro loike?!"


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    #283
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Ever participated in a Cleveland Steamer?


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    #284
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi Im Marilyn Manson and Im going to eat you after sex"



    (I dont think it matters if you're male or female here)


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    #285
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Me out for a few drinks once with this lassie. She seemed fine. More than fine. Appeared sound and a roide to boot. Two drinks in she says "I'm tired of looking for the right guy", leans over to me "I want to start a family and settle down with someone, I think you're him". First date second beer for me. Not nearly enough. But I thought benefit of the doubt......

    After several beers, with her still going on about settling down and babies, we went for an after drinks eddie rockets. She orders a big meal and I have a fries and coke. Seemed innocent. Not so much. I get treated to a rant about how I'm trying to make her look fat(she wasn't even close to fat), by not eating abigger meal. Then her ranting on about weightwatchers and how all the women in her family are huge, but she takes laxitives to stay slim.

    Be afraid...... :eek::D

    Obviously there wasn't a sequel. last I heard she "fell" pregnant to a new guy 6 months later. Now married to him and not using laxitives from what I gather. Bullet dodged.:D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #286
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Bullet dodged.:D

    Ive read another post of yours Wibbs where you get (fantastic) revenge on a different psycho girl.

    At this stage I think you need to start a blog ;)


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    #287
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "I hope your face can support 18 stone of all woman"


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    #288
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi Im Jocelyn Wildenstein and I want you to lick my vagina"





    Google Image Jocelyn Wildenstein at your peril


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    #289
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    Ive read another post of yours Wibbs where you get (fantastic) revenge on a different psycho girl.

    At this stage I think you need to start a blog ;)

    Link!


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    #290
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "I hope your face can support 18 stone of all woman"
    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "Hi Im Jocelyn Wildenstein and I want you to lick my vagina"





    Google Image Jocelyn Wildenstein at your peril

    Truly inspired actually.....impressive:)


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    #291
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Truly inspired actually.....impressive:)

    *takes a bow*



    *tips hat*


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    #292
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "Hi Im Jocelyn Wildenstein and I want you to lick my vagina"
    If her vagina is anything like her face then I would have to start the lickage somewhere north of her belly button.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #293
    genericgoon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,671 ✭✭✭genericgoon


    So are you going to roide me or what because the footies starting in ten minutes if you're not.


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    #294
    Bubs101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,478 ✭✭✭Bubs101


    Her: So what are you doing at the moment

    Him: Well, I'm with Nottingham Forrest at the moment, we're on the cusp of Champion's League qualification

    Her: Oh, so you work in England

    Him: Oh no, I had to quit my job to focus soley on Champo, spend all day playing with occasional pitstop ****


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    #295
    suckslikeafox
    Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭suckslikeafox


    Hi, I'm John but you can call me stabby Joe...I like to stab:D


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    #296
    genericgoon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,671 ✭✭✭genericgoon


    So whats your opinion on HIV?


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    #297
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    Size doesn't matter, right?


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    #298
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Bubs101 wrote: »
    Her: So what are you doing at the moment

    Him: Well, I'm with Nottingham Forrest at the moment, we're on the cusp of Champion's League qualification

    Her: Oh, so you work in England

    Him: Oh no, I had to quit my job to focus soley on Champo, spend all day playing with occasional pitstop ****


    Erm.


    What?


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    #299
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    back in ten, i just have to nip to the garda station to sign on the register


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    #300
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Link!

    I'll let Wibbs fill you in ;)


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    #301
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    IvaBigWun wrote:
    I'll let Wibbs fill you in
    oooooh er missus.

    Here it is;

    "OK one ex of mine. Everything going grand, or so I thought. Turns out she was also doing the horizontal mambo with another bloke. I confronted her. She was "confused" and "didn't know how she felt, but I think I love you still". The usual madness. So I said "ok darling we'll work through this". Heart breaking in twain inside of course.

    I found out through a mutual mate what the other blokes number was. So I rang him and let him know what was what. Turned out after initial suspicion to be a nice guy. Also turned out he was in the dark too and thought she had gotten shot of me months previously.

    We showed each other texts and such just to get the full picture. She had even sent several of the same texts to both of us at the same time. Classsssy.

    So we both went up to her apartment and confronted her together. She let us both in with the shock I suppose. We were both very low key, brought stuff of hers we both had in two placcy bags and just told her what we both knew and dumped her at the same time.

    Cue floods of tears and threats of self harm. Ruined her rep in two groups of people. Result."

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



This discussion has been closed.
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