What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

IvaBigWun

*tips hat to Wibbs*

IvaBigWun

SNIP!

Cookie_Monster

javaboy wrote: »

Watch: bums. willy ........ I bet you laughed

I did indeed:)

Cookie_Monster

IvaBigWun wrote: »

You should have got your langer out and windmill'ed it with your hand tbh That would have shut up the bint.

ROFL:D

"This is the third time I've been to this restaurant this week, I hope this time goes a bit better"

Ross_Mahon

"I used to come here all the time with my ex."

"I am a level 39 druid, what are you?"

"There must have been a mistake. The costume party isn't until next Friday night."

"Are you not getting dressed?" Look at them as if you think they look under dressed.

"Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?"

"You don't look like the pictures you sent me on your phone!"

Cookie_Monster

Have you got an inny to match my outy?

AshTrollyDolly

i thought you said you were slim......

sorry im late, i was trimming my nose hair.....

tman

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

"I am a level 39 druid, what are you?"

Yeah, the last thing you want her to think is that you're some kind of noob...
Keep that kind of talk until you hit level 70

IvaBigWun

"Hi, Im Barry George and I want to stick this up your bum"

sryk

u smell jst lk my sister..i lk zis one....lol

IvaBigWun

sryk wrote: »

u smell jst lk my sister..i lk zis one....lol

No.

Just no.

You cannot converse with us in this way.

No No No.

Cookie_Monster

Do you like physics, I like physics!

Magpie!

You'd make a great practise girl

IvaBigWun

Magpie! wrote: »

You'd make a great practise girl

IvaBigWun

"Remember that cool website forum I told you about where they had a member called Lasers Pew Pew? And this one time they got into trouble with a promotions company and it might be going to court and everything and sometimes they have to ban people off it for being too rude but it's gas and I'm on it in work the whole time and theres always jokes on it and funny pictures of cats but serious stuff too and I said you should try it it's kinda cool?? ....... Well now they're making a porn movie with a hermaphrodite called Tara Le d'Arion ... ya wanna watch?!"

CountingCrows

*As you try and loosen your collar* Is it just me or is it horny in here?

GrumPy

CountingCrows wrote: »

*As you try and loosen your collar* Is it just me or is it horny in here?

Duggy747

Oblivion or Morrowind?

What's the most frags you've gotten in Unreal Tournament?

You don't happen to have a repair disc that replaces the SYSTEM, SECURITY, SOFTWARE, DEFAULT, and SAM files in the config folder of windows, do you?

Whenever she says something funny you just say "LOL"

I want to drink your toilet water.

I love you!

longshanks

atm?

JangoFett

IvaBigWun wrote: »

"Im an accountant"

"All the voices in my head agree that you are the one for us"



"You remind me a lot of my old girlfriend. She's not around any more, but it doesn't bother me, no really I never think about her, well not that often, I miss her, she was gorgeous"



"Oooh your top is lovely, looks great with those shoes and that necklace just sets the whole outfit right off! Where do you shop?"



"I hear you like it up the arse?"



"Let me tell you all about this internet forum I post on it's really cool right, these guys, some of them are really funny right, sometimes I say funny stuff too one of them is called Lasers Pew Pew, mad, and this one time they got into trouble with a promotions company and it might be going to court and everything and sometimes they have to ban people off it for being too rude right but it's gas and I'm on it in work the whole time and theres always jokes on it and funny pictures but serious stuff too you should try it it's kinda cool"




over to you ...

If a girl starts on about her ex boyfriend then I get ready to make a quick exit. First date, bangin on about their ex, they ain't over them. I know this cuz I made that mistake, talked about my ex and the girl on the date suddenly had to leave!

ryoishin

No joke when I was 16 within 5 mins she says to me " just so you know I was raped before, are you cool with that".

And one of my mates got " my pussy is for serious relationships, until then you ll have to f*ck me in the a*s."

CountingCrows

ryoishin wrote: »

No joke when I was 16 within 5 mins she says to me " just so you know I was raped before, are you cool with that".

And one of my mates got " my pussy is for serious relationships, until then you ll have to f*ck me in the a*s."

Does your family sell gates and batteries?

CtrlSource

ryoishin wrote: »

And one of my mates got " my pussy is for serious relationships, until then you ll have to f*ck me in the a*s."

Classy! She must have been kidding...

ryoishin

No she was nt joking, the date was a formality.

We met up for a shag, was supposed to be the first time for both of us until she dropped that bomb on me. All I could say was "were you tested".

IvaBigWun

ryoishin wrote: »

And one of my mates got " my pussy is for serious relationships, until then you ll have to f*ck me in the a*s."

Classiest Burd Evarr



Or you're telling us lies

Abi

Him: "Where will you be in about 2 hours?"

Me: "Umm prolly still drinking, why?"

Him: "Im going to rape you in the back of my Hiace"

SoWatchaWant

Phwoar, can't wait to see your fanny!



-Oh yeah, sure I work out, matter of fact I've got the iron grip of a rapist;)

Overheal

"Yeah I'm sorry I had to reschedule the other day, but one of my infections was flaring up."

jiltloop

i'm a decent bloke so i feel obliged to warn you i have genital warts. my mickey looks a bit like a gherkin but on the plus side it will feel just like i'm wearing a studded condom. whadya say?

IvaBigWun

Abigayle wrote: »

Him: "Where will you be in about 2 hours?"

Me: "Umm prolly still drinking, why?"

Him: "Im going to rape you in the back of my Hiace"

*7up all over the screen*