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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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    #452
    iPlop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,822 ✭✭✭iPlop


    " don't like fish ,in fact I hate it especially down there":)


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    #453
    dolliemix
    Registered Users Posts: 4,048 ✭✭✭dolliemix


    How come you smell of fish?


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    #454
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Mont wrote: »
    As for Harney i'd give her the insulting rape which is basically start off the rape as normal ie rip off her clothes but then say geez youre ugly and leg off


    *chokes on dinner*

    :pac:

    pmsl


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    #455
    Fizman
    Registered Users Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    Probably has been said several times but I don't have time to thrawl.

    /points at groin

    "Well, its not gonna suck itself!"


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    #456
    gino85
    Closed Accounts Posts: 510 ✭✭✭gino85


    i put roofies in your drink lol


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    #457
    The Saint
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭The Saint


    You remind me of my ex-girlfriend. She's dead now.


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    #458
    Silenceisbliss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭Silenceisbliss


    I have an account on boards.ie

    ...FAIL


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    #459
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    I'm sure its been said already also but I like the "Wanna go half-sies on an abortion?" line myself :D


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    #460
    Four-Percent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 873 ✭✭✭Four-Percent


    Silenceisbliss wrote: »
    I have an account on boards.ie

    ...FAIL

    I like to type my location in alternating capital letters , and I can't spell the name of the country i'm in right now.

    This could also conceivably fail :pac:


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    #461
    craiginireland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 872 ✭✭✭craiginireland


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    I'm sure its been said already also but I like the "Wanna go half-sies on an abortion?" line myself :D

    Always a popular one!


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    #462
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    Four-Percent wrote: »
    I like to type my location in alternating capital letters , and I can't spell the name of the country i'm in right now.

    This could also conceivably fail :pac:

    Leave him alone. Silenceisbliss is only 5 years old, so stop picking on him. Its not his fault they havnt done countries yet in school.


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    #463
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    I work for Dell


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    #464
    SoWatchaWant
    Registered Users Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭SoWatchaWant


    Listen, I'm only ordering the Kristal if I have a guarantee, on paper, that I'm going to get buttsex tonight.


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    #465
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,636 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    SoWatchaWant wrote: »
    Listen, I'm only ordering the Kristal if I have a guarantee, on paper, that I'm going to get buttsex tonight.
    You'll be sorry when she whips out the strap on.


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    #466
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,636 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    "I've had more interesting conversations with soup."

    "Lots of people have dead conjoined twins that are still attached, right?"

    Wow, you kiss like my sister.

    Let's cut to the chase baby..how much?

    Is it OK if I use my laptop to cyber with my Russian mail-order bride while we do it?

    Oh my God, Mum. Why didn't you tell me you were unhappy with Dad.

    What the??? Your not a MILF!

    I did bring this paper bag just in case, so here you go.

    So you’re not really an anorexic, obsessive compulsive, single, vegetarian, amputee, body building, pig shooting, orphan with red hair and narcissistic nymphomaniac tendencies looking to experiment?

    I'm here on behalf of my brother to tell you he couldn't make it today. He died 3 years ago.

    Does that thing on your face have a name?

    Holy Mother of GOD!!!! Um... I'm sorry, it's just that I'm very Catholic... em... er... No it's not because of you! It's... it's just that... is that hump REAL?!?!

    "I'm arresting you for coercing a minor and attempting to take them to your place of abode illegally. You do not have to say anything in your defence, but anything you do say will be taken down and used in a court of law. Do you understand your rights?"

    No sorry. I'm not "romance2000". I'm his more up to date version, "romance2003". He sent me to tell you that he is eloping with another girl and says sorry but he'd pay me to shag you to make up for it.

    Whoa!! Nice Chewbacca outfit!!! Im a STARWARS fan myself!!
    WHAT?!?! that ain't a costume? Whoops!

    Oh yeah? I'm supposed to meet up with someone really hot too! Maybe they're running l

    Where I come from, it is common for needy men to hump cows. Of course, I've never done it, Im saving myself for marriage. THEN I will try it.

    Hi Lisa, I heard there was congestion at Heathrow. Was it bad? Oh, sorry Simone. Lisa's next week.

    Oh Sh1t! Hi Mom!

    Yeah you told me you were an experienced girl, but I had no idea that you would have to sneak out of the rest home to come meet me!!! But since you are here...

    Listen, Sarah, you won't tell Mum and Dad if i won't, right?

    Three magical words: I like porn.

    I sure hope that's chocolate all over your face...

    Shh! No baby dont say it! Your voice ruins it for me. Here, here is a pen and paper. Write it down for me, ok? Its so much sexier this way. I even have different colored crayons for later. Does that turn you on?

    It's funny you should mention that, I have a long-lost older sister who'd be just about your age now, myself.

    You got me. Okay, okay. Reveal the hidden cameras... Seriously reveal them!

    I think this relationship is going to work a whole lot better if you just go to the ladies room and put your panties in your purse, and THEN we can talk.

    If you're a girl meetin a guy: "I hope you prefer anal, cos, well...hi im Frank"

    "Sorry, only my father can touch me there."

    This is a great spot. Nobody's around. It's so seculuded, it's almost romantic. Can you hold this rope for me, so I can get the duct tape out, darlin?

    A lot of people think Scientology is a cult but that's not true. In fact, I want you to come to a meeting with me tomorrow to prove it. No I insist, you will come to the meeting tomorrow! You don't want the Thetans to eat your soul do you?


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    #467
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    You'll be sorry when she whips out the strap on.
    Why should he be sorry? If you dony specify exactly what you want you deserve whatever you get. Might enjoy it too.....


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    #468
    gar_29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 174 ✭✭gar_29


    Sorry if it's been posted already...


    "oh, later on? Don't struggle. We don't want this rape turning into a murder, do we?"


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    #469
    Silenceisbliss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭Silenceisbliss


    Four-Percent wrote: »
    I like to type my location in alternating capital letters , and I can't spell the name of the country i'm in right now.

    This could also conceivably fail :pac:


    and your location is.....?

    bravo.


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    #470
    corkhero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭corkhero


    whatever bout saying bad things, but walking into a pole.

    that was a bye there and then for me.


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    #471
    MattKid
    Registered Users Posts: 829 ✭✭✭MattKid


    I want to wear you like a puppet.

    You don't have aids do you? I don't want to get that again


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    #472
    NiSmO
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,670 ✭✭✭NiSmO


    This post has been deleted.


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    #473
    ahmed89
    Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭ahmed89


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "Betcha I can fart louder than you. Ready?"
    lol

    here is another one
    guy:did you hear anything?
    girl:no
    guy:youll smell it in a sec

    its an arab joke,i hope u get it :p


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    #474
    Hank Scorpio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,631 ✭✭✭✭Hank Scorpio


    hows your fanny for love bites?


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    #475
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    ahmed89 wrote: »
    lol

    here is another one
    guy:did you hear anything?
    girl:no
    guy:youll smell it in a sec

    its an arab joke,i hope u get it :p

    :confused:


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    #476
    Quazzie
    Registered Users Posts: 28,951 ✭✭✭✭Quazzie


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    :confused:
    Oh look its the regurgitator IvaBigWun


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    #477
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    ahmed89 wrote: »
    lol

    here is another one
    guy:did you hear anything?
    girl:no
    guy:youll smell it in a sec

    its an arab joke,i hope u get it :p
    Very good ahmed. Gotta love those arab fables.

    Here's an Irish one.

    guy:did you hear anything?
    girl:yes
    guy:what is it?
    girl:it's IvaBigWun digging up a thread.


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    #478
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Pighead wrote: »
    Very good ahmed. Gotta love those arab fables.

    Here's an Irish one.

    guy:did you hear anything?
    girl:yes
    guy:what is it?
    girl:it's IvaBigWun digging up HIS thread.
    FYP

    Why is it he only digs his own threads up?


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    #479
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Kiera wrote: »
    FYP

    Why is it he only digs his own threads up?
    Maybe he sees the threads as willies and he doesn't like digging up other peoples willies. Maybe he's only comfortable scratching around his own old willies. Anyway he's probably answered this before sometime. Give it an hour and he'll have dug it up for you.


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    #480
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "So let me get this straight, yes means yes, and no means tie you up, right?"


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    #481
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,410 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    Worst things you can say on a first date:

    -That's a little pricey don't you think, do you think you could order something a little cheaper?

    -Anytime you call a women babe

    -Talking about politics

    -How about a little kissypoo

    -Hi how are you.......... Eh, what's your name again

    -Women: What are you thinking about?
    Me: My mam

    -Was it good for you


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