Horrible housemate, what should i do?

farreller24

G86 wrote: »

I don't think its excessive, but you probably should have tried to suss out how she felt about it beforehand. Either way if shes not happy then the only thing you can do is get a new place.

As for showing people your room without your say so - thats not on.

yes you're right i think we both need to just not live with one another. You see we were such good friends beforehand, and she always got on very well with BF so i suppose i didnt envisage it being a problem. Alsoi did ask them when the bf started staying over if they minded or had any problem.........they both said they liked having him there! and im glad peole seem to agree about the room thing, when i said to her (so nicely) would she mind just running it by me first so that i can have the room tidy and personal things put away out of sight she was very defensive, but i know she knows its not nice to do it, she's just looking for a way to piss me off.defo gona have to jus move out me thinks!
Thanks for your opinion!

Tails142

I just simply can't believe the reaction this thread is getting.

Some people are saying that as the other housemate is a tennant her rights have to be respected.

The OP is a tennant too so why shouldn't her rights of having her boyfriend stay over be taken away. If its not disrupting the other housemates, and the OP has given us no indication that it really is then I cant see any reason for the other housemates to complain.

Someone else said that the OPs boyfriend should pay rent if he's staying over so much, you rent ROOMS in a house, why would the boyfriend pay the same rent as everyone else in the house when he only SHARES a room with his gf 3 or 4 nights a week. If anything he should be paying some money to the girlfriend to pay for her share of the rent but not subsidising her housemates.

If I was you OP I'd just tell your housemate to f*ck off and cop on.

The_Conductor

Living with someone- regardless of how good a friend you were with them beforehand, will always bring things to the fore that you may not have noticed, or minded beforehand. I'm not suggesting that there is a right person and a wrong person here- if you can't even sit down and talk, then you have reached the point where you should really be looking for separate accommodation, whether you like it or not. Personally- I'd not be happy if a housemate had a partner who was over on a regular basis. Over in the accommodation/property forum- this has been discussed on previous occasions, there has always been a sharp difference of opinion on the matter- the only point of concensus being if someone is over to the extent that you cannot assume they are not there (3-4 nights a week would appear to meet this criteria) that perhaps they really should be making a contribution towards the running costs of the place.

There are different ways of doing this- 200 per person + 200 for a single room or 300 for a double room + 75 if there is an en-suite + 100 if they're using a parking space etc- you get the picture. If the partner was only in your room- it would be the 200 extra........ Victor did a really good document up a while back- which he called "The equitable houseshare"- link here

It really is at the stage though where one or the other of you should start looking for alternate accommodation though- imo.

It is not a reasonable assumption that you can automatically have a boyfriend/girlfriend over several nights a week. If you intend to do this- get a place together- as you are defacto living with one another..........

nomorebadtown

Am i missing something? Why are so many posters giving the OP a hard time?
So lets say she limits her bf to two or three visits a week...wtf is the problem

He doesn't increase bills, eat their food or take up communal living space. In fact I don't see how he is impacting on the housemate's life at all (unless the OP is a screamer...) If the bf was being a slob all over the house, stealing food, hogging the remote and swinging from the rafters then i'd totally sympathise but to me the OPs living arrangements seem perfectly acceptalbe.

Change the atmosphere in the house because the OP and her bf are in her room? GTFOver it! The OP is not in the house to entertain and pander to this housemate. I understand that this girl has some problem with the OP's bf being there and as its her house too, the OP must respect her wishes...but the OP has compromised and now has her bf over less often so its time for this girl to cop on and meet the OP in the middle. It is the OP's house just as much as this girl's and the OP is entitled to have a quiet unintrusive guest in her room a few times a week no problem. You can bet that when this girl bags a man, she will have him over when she likes.

As for this girl not telling the OP when she is showing the OP's room to potential new housemates - bang out of order. OP, as someone else said above, lock your room.

OP you seem very worried that this person is being frosty, aggressive, defensive and bitchy about you in work. clearly you are no longer friends. You need to be calm but firm and tell her that

1. she is being totally unreasonalbe
2. you have modified your behaviour and that is how it is staying
3. she needs to cop herself on and be civil if she wants to stay friends
4. she better tell you when she is showing the room

maybe i'm just a very easy going person to share a house with but if a housemate of mine has guests, as long as they - keep the place clean, don't impact on my home life much, pay for whatever they use and keep the noise down, i really couldn't care less.

farreller24

smccarrick wrote: »

Living with someone- regardless of how good a friend you were with them beforehand, will always bring things to the fore that you may not have noticed, or minded beforehand. I'm not suggesting that there is a right person and a wrong person here- if you can't even sit down and talk, then you have reached the point where you should really be looking for separate accommodation, whether you like it or not. Personally- I'd not be happy if a housemate had a partner who was over on a regular basis. Over in the accommodation/property forum- this has been discussed on previous occasions, there has always been a sharp difference of opinion on the matter- the only point of concensus being if someone is over to the extent that you cannot assume they are not there (3-4 nights a week would appear to meet this criteria) that perhaps they really should be making a contribution towards the running costs of the place.

There are different ways of doing this- 200 per person + 200 for a single room or 300 for a double room + 75 if there is an en-suite + 100 if they're using a parking space etc- you get the picture. If the partner was only in your room- it would be the 200 extra........ Victor did a really good document up a while back- which he called "The equitable houseshare"- link here

It really is at the stage though where one or the other of you should start looking for alternate accommodation though- imo.

It is not a reasonable assumption that you can automatically have a boyfriend/girlfriend over several nights a week. If you intend to do this- get a place together- as you are defacto living with one another..........

As we are both new to house sharing ( having both previously lived at home) we don't have any rules drawn up or anything and of course there is another girl in the house too. I appreciate your idea of the BF contributing toward running of house-he is amenable to this idea as am i and i am going to put this to my housemate, good idea! also he would then have a bit more freedom in that he could feel ok about using the kitchen for a cuppa or the shower/hot water etc. Thanks for the constructive comment!

farreller24

Tails142 wrote: »

I just simply can't believe the reaction this thread is getting.

Some people are saying that as the other housemate is a tennant her rights have to be respected.

The OP is a tennant too so why shouldn't her rights of having her boyfriend stay over be taken away. If its not disrupting the other housemates, and the OP has given us no indication that it really is then I cant see any reason for the other housemates to complain.

Someone else said that the OPs boyfriend should pay rent if he's staying over so much, you rent ROOMS in a house, why would the boyfriend pay the same rent as everyone else in the house when he only SHARES a room with his gf 3 or 4 nights a week. If anything he should be paying some money to the girlfriend to pay for her share of the rent but not subsidising her housemates.

If I was you OP I'd just tell your housemate to f*ck off and cop on.

Thanks so much I was starting to think that i was abnormal for the opinion I have on the situation!

farreller24

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Am i missing something? Why are so many posters giving the OP a hard time?
So lets say she limits her bf to two or three visits a week...wtf is the problem

He doesn't increase bills, eat their food or take up communal living space. In fact I don't see how he is impacting on the housemate's life at all (unless the OP is a screamer...) If the bf was being a slob all over the house, stealing food, hogging the remote and swinging from the rafters then i'd totally sympathise but to me the OPs living arrangements seem perfectly acceptalbe.

Change the atmosphere in the house because the OP and her bf are in her room? GTFOver it! The OP is not in the house to entertain and pander to this housemate. I understand that this girl has some problem with the OP's bf being there and as its her house too, the OP must respect her wishes...but the OP has compromised and now has her bf over less often so its time for this girl to cop on and meet the OP in the middle. It is the OP's house just as much as this girl's and the OP is entitled to have a quiet unintrusive guest in her room a few times a week no problem. You can bet that when this girl bags a man, she will have him over when she likes.

As for this girl not telling the OP when she is showing the OP's room to potential new housemates - bang out of order. OP, as someone else said above, lock your room.

OP you seem very worried that this person is being frosty, aggressive, defensive and bitchy about you in work. clearly you are no longer friends. You need to be calm but firm and tell her that

1. she is being totally unreasonalbe
2. you have modified your behaviour and that is how it is staying
3. she needs to cop herself on and be civil if she wants to stay friends
4. she better tell you when she is showing the room

maybe i'm just a very easy going person to share a house with but if a housemate of mine has guests, as long as they - keep the place clean, don't impact on my home life much, pay for whatever they use and keep the noise down, i really couldn't care less.

Oh my god thank you so much, i completely agree with you!

I am getting really stressed with the situation because i really have done everything in my power to be nice and to compromise and i feel so indignant that I am still being made to feel bad and worry about how she is portraying me to my work colleagues......i don't bring house matters into work. Im also starting to get sick from being so stressed, and feel physically sick at the thought of having to even talk to her about anything. All i wnt is for there to be an amicable atmosphere in the house.

G86

farreller24 wrote: »

yes you're right i think we both need to just not live with one another. You see we were such good friends beforehand, and she always got on very well with BF so i suppose i didnt envisage it being a problem. Alsoi did ask them when the bf started staying over if they minded or had any problem.........they both said they liked having him there! and im glad peole seem to agree about the room thing, when i said to her (so nicely) would she mind just running it by me first so that i can have the room tidy and personal things put away out of sight she was very defensive, but i know she knows its not nice to do it, she's just looking for a way to piss me off.defo gona have to jus move out me thinks!
Thanks for your opinion!

No worries, to be honest I don't see why she has such a problem with it, esp if you're friends and not strangers. I've never lived with anyone who had a prob with boyf's staying over a few nights, and it wouldn't bother me either.

nomorebadtown

farreller24 wrote: »

Oh my god thank you so much, i completely agree with you!

I am getting really stressed with the situation because i really have done everything in my power to be nice and to compromise and i feel so indignant that I am still being made to feel bad and worry about how she is portraying me to my work colleagues......i don't bring house matters into work. Im also starting to get sick from being so stressed, and feel physically sick at the thought of having to even talk to her about anything. All i wnt is for there to be an amicable atmosphere in the house.

whatever about at home, this carry on in work is completely unacceptable. warn her to stop and if she does it again you will take up with HR. find out from others what she has said and when. write it down and give it to your superiors and the relavent HR people.

farreller24

Oh and I am not a screamer!:D we are very quiet (all the time) as we both enjoy getting our sleep at night, and i wouldnt appreciate someone keeping me awake due to noise.

The_Conductor

Tails142 wrote: »

The OP is a tennant too so why shouldn't her rights of having her boyfriend stay over be taken away. If its not disrupting the other housemates, and the OP has given us no indication that it really is then I cant see any reason for the other housemates to complain.

Having a partner or indeed mates over on a regular basis does impact on the other people in the house. You may not think that you are interrupting them- but they signed up to 2 girls sharing a house, not 2 girls and a guy who may or may not be there. It is another person present in the house- period.

Tails142 wrote: »

Someone else said that the OPs boyfriend should pay rent if he's staying over so much, you rent ROOMS in a house, why would the boyfriend pay the same rent as everyone else in the house when he only SHARES a room with his gf 3 or 4 nights a week. If anything he should be paying some money to the girlfriend to pay for her share of the rent but not subsidising her housemates.

Well- he is physically present in the house almost half (3 or 4 nights a week) as much as everyone else. You don't rent rooms in a house- you rent the house, you have your own room, certainly- but its very rare that its done on a room by room basis. I know what you're saying- he doesn't cause any extra expenses in the house- so he shouldn't pay extra. He is however physically present. It was not discussed before the girls took the house- he sort of got into the habit- and the OP now has to try to come some sort of arrangement with her erstwhile friend.

Tails142 wrote: »

If I was you OP I'd just tell your housemate to f*ck off and cop on.

And start a brawl?

The mature thing is to sit down and discuss the matter in a reasonable manner together. Having someone over is a big issue for some people. Other people really don't mind at all. Its not fair or reasonable to expect that someone will or will not mind. A contribution towards the household bills would be a very reasonable conciliatory gesture- and is what the OP is proposing. If this is not acceptable- then one or the other of the housemates should move. Perhaps the OP might like to get a place with her boyfriend- it would save on them renting two separate places?

farreller24

[/quote]Change the atmosphere in the house because the OP and her bf are in her room? GTFOver it! The OP is not in the house to entertain and pander to this housemate. [/quote]

Also I feel like because we are friends (or used to be) she feels like I should be hanging out with her in the evenings in the living room....she even complained during one of our confrontations that she thought it was weird that we spent all our time in my room........!

All we do is watch dvds and chill out, surf the net, and sleep....we purposely go to my room because i don't want to hog the tv or for the girls to feel they can't use their own living area......my BF totally doesnt intrude on any communal living space!:rolleyes:

farreller24

smccarrick wrote: »

Having a partner or indeed mates over on a regular basis does impact on the other people in the house. You may not think that you are interrupting them- but they signed up to 2 girls sharing a house, not 2 girls and a guy who may or may not be there. It is another person present in the house- period.



Well- he is physically present in the house almost half (3 or 4 nights a week) as much as everyone else. You don't rent rooms in a house- you rent the house, you have your own room, certainly- but its very rare that its done on a room by room basis. I know what you're saying- he doesn't cause any extra expenses in the house- so he shouldn't pay extra. He is however physically present. It was not discussed before the girls took the house- he sort of got into the habit- and the OP now has to try to come some sort of arrangement with her erstwhile friend.



And start a brawl?

The mature thing is to sit down and discuss the matter in a reasonable manner together. Having someone over is a big issue for some people. Other people really don't mind at all. Its not fair or reasonable to expect that someone will or will not mind. A contribution towards the household bills would be a very reasonable conciliatory gesture- and is what the OP is proposing. If this is not acceptable- then one or the other of the housemates should move. Perhaps the OP might like to get a place with her boyfriend- it would save on them renting two separate places?

Well in our house we actually do rent the rooms as such. If someone were to not pay their rent we would not be liable for it if you get me.

Also the BF is really only over two nights at the mo cos Im trying to compromise.

And although this wasn't discussed before moving into the house, the other two girls invite people over quite regularly, without consulting anyone....(in fact i have never been consulted by them about their houseguests, the only difference is that I have the same guest while they have different ones be it family/friends/or random guys) and have often had people stay for a few days to a week at a time often sleeping in our living room and using the bathroom/kitchen etc......i don't really mind this being quite easygoing, i suppose this is another reason i feel i am being villified by my friend - other housemate has no problem.

dave.omeara

Just a couple of thoughts, Firstly, your housemate is being a bit immature not to try and sort out some sort of compromise. If you're going to continue to live together then she has to try and be civil, plus any prospective future housemate might very well run a mile if they see the situation between the two of yee. No one wants to move into a warring house.

But since we don't have your housemates prospective, it's hard to give a fair opinion on it. Having your boyfriend over 3-4 nights a week is a bit excessive. If he lives 2 hours away, why doesn't he just look for a place of his own if the two of yee arn't ready to move in together. At least that way you can split the time in each house. Is he there straight after work or later in the afternoon? If it's straight after work, it might very well feel like there is an extra person living in the house. I know it doesn't impact on bills very much but your housemate might feel a little uncomfortable.

Also, since you were friends before hand maybe she thought you would be spending time together chatting or just having fun. Not all the time but every so often. Maybe cause you're spending so much time in your room she just feels a little lonely.

Blazer

My advice- move out..I know you said that you won't find a place that's cheaper etc but you have to think about the overall picture.
For me having to pay an extra few pound would be no problem if it meant I didn't have to listen to that bitch of a flatmate.
And she is being a bitch.
I can never understand these people who moan about other tenant's gf/bf etc.
simple matter it's not their house, you're paying for your room and the common law factilities so it' none of their business. So what if he stays 3-4 nights a week. Like you said you're both in your room so no probs.
If anything they should be grateful that you're both not hogging the living room +tv and being all lovey dovey etc in front of them.

farreller24

dave.omeara wrote: »

Just a couple of thoughts, Firstly, your housemate is being a bit immature not to try and sort out some sort of compromise. If you're going to continue to live together then she has to try and be civil, plus any prospective future housemate might very well run a mile if they see the situation between the two of yee. No one wants to move into a warring house.

But since we don't have your housemates prospective, it's hard to give a fair opinion on it. Having your boyfriend over 3-4 nights a week is a bit excessive. If he lives 2 hours away, why doesn't he just look for a place of his own if the two of yee arn't ready to move in together. At least that way you can split the time in each house. Is he there straight after work or later in the afternoon? If it's straight after work, it might very well feel like there is an extra person living in the house. I know it doesn't impact on bills very much but your housemate might feel a little uncomfortable.

Also, since you were friends before hand maybe she thought you would be spending time together chatting or just having fun. Not all the time but every so often. Maybe cause you're spending so much time in your room she just feels a little lonely.

No he's never there straight after work earliest would be 8pm, often later.At the moment he can't move from where he is living. I accept your point about her being lonely and agree that this is definitely an issue, but I was happy to still hang out with her until she started being hostile towards me. I had no idea why as she had previously said when asked that she didnt mind the bf being there, i think it would have been more mature of her to come to me with her problem instead of ignoring me and leaving me out of conversations with other housemate, behaviour which is akin to bullying and made me feel extremely uncomfortable in the communal living areas around both housemates I have instead had to go to her numerous times. It was then that the bf started staying over more because i was feeling miserable in the house and wanted him there for company as she was causing a horrible atmosphere even between me and our other housemate. Believe me though if it was the other way around she wouldn't spare a thought for any one but herself. She complained about the parking outside the house (there is always plenty everyone always gets a spot) and then got a new car and started arking it between 2 spots on purpose!

Anyway thats beside the point, as someone said earlier, i live with her yes, but I am not there to entertain her, and obviously have no interest in hanging out with someone who is so hostile.

farreller24

dave.omeara wrote: »

J If you're going to continue to live together then she has to try and be civil, plus any prospective future housemate might very well run a mile if they see the situation between the two of yee. No one wants to move into a warring house,
.

Totally agree with you on this one too which is another reason why I want to sort it out. Would prefer to sort it out than have to move out so am willing to try one more time.

dave.omeara

farreller24 wrote: »

She complained about the parking outside the house (there is always plenty everyone always gets a spot) and then got a new car and started arking it between 2 spots on purpose!

Ok, now thats gone past immature and is just plain childish.

Why don't you try arrange some viewings by yourself and see what she makes of it. I hate suggesting a tit-for-tat approach but it might open her eyes a little. (Or else bring down an even greater wrath upon yourself)

Claire121

I definitely think 3-4 nights is excessive, it would annoy me. I think it's easy not to realise the impact your behaviour has on the rest of the house. It creates a different atmosphere and can make things a bit awkward. Those girls didn't sign up to live with a couple. I thought it was a sort of 'unwritten rule' that bf/gfs should only stay 1-2 nights a week. If it's more than that, why not just move in together? My boyfriend currently lives an hour away but I'm very conscious of having him over to stay too often. I get the vibe that my flatmates wouldn't be pleased, so he only stays one night a week at the weekend, and maybe one evening we'd eat dinner together in the house. Any more than that and I'd feel like we were taking over the place and it wouldn't be fair. I totally see where the housemate is coming from. She might be a bitch, but OP doesn't sound like a very good housemate either.

elmyra

OP, I think you're being fairly reasonable in doing your level best to sort this out, but as someone who's on the other side of the fence at the moment, dealing with a housemate having a bf over most of time time - it does create a different dynamic and there's a difference between people having a friend over on the couch for a night and having a partner over. Couples can create a feeling that they want to be on their own and leave the other housemates awkwardly dodging around them in the living areas and so on - whether they mean to or not. Maybe keep it at 2 nights a week, because 4 nights a week is effectively having another housemate that you didn't sign up for.

LegacyUser

A few people have already asked this - why is he in yours 3-4 times a week and you never stay over in his?? its a bit strange!

peanut66

For god sake

from the op's post its obvious the girl she is living with is completley immature and jealous and needs to deal with her own issues. I used to live with a girl whose boyfriend was over every single nite without fail, every time the doorbell went it would be him, the big problem was I was sharing a room with her (completely diiferent to being hidden away in ur own room)and I got no peace and quiet and never had the room to myself.

She broke up with her bf and the one time I wanted to bring my bf up for a nite (he lived v far away at the time) all hell broke loose. Its very hard to live with other people and share a house, it takes 2 to tango and I cant believe so many people think it is the op's fault.

I would have no problem watsoever with my house mate having her bf over if they were staying in her room, ya obviously the guy is going to want to use the bathroom from time to time. If they arent keeping u up all nite and your not tripping over him in the hall all the time, then i dont see the problem. This other girl sounds like a moody cow and I have no time for people like that. I would move out it wouldnt matter how long it would take to find somewhere decent, after a hard day at work, all i want to do is come home and relax and not have to worry about a whinging flatmate.....
oh i would put sum fish in the curtains of her bedroom before u move out 2.....

syklops

I was in your housemates position where a person moved in and her BF stayed over 3-4 nights a week. It did not turn into a problem as I never voiced my disgruntled feelings, but I was a bit disgruntled. The ad was for a single person, not a couple. Your housemate was probably not expecting another person to stay over so regularly.

3-4 days/nights is half the week. If it is every week she should charge you more rent. Then you can decide if it is still cheaper not to move in with your BF.

I know you say he does not use any facilities, but he uses water for the toilet/shower. I am sure he uses hot water for showers etc, all without paying for them, plus electricity for heating the kettle. Are you saying you never cook at home?

The financial aspect aside, if you moved into the house and she was expecting you to be single and your not, then you can understand her for being a bit miffed. Also staying in your room when he is there, but staying in the communal areas when he is not might be making things worse, because she is thinking she is not good enough for you when he is around.

Also, she keeps saying she wants a boyfriend. You disappearing off to your room when your boyfriend arrives would make me very annoyed in a same situation.

The only thing I can suggest is move out and get somewhere else. Or offer to divide the bills/rent into 4(you, the BF, her, and the other housemate), assuming she is ok with it, and that way he has a right to be there. Once you have done that you can weigh up what your actually spending with the added hassle of the situation and you can think about getting something else.

The next time I am looking for someone to rent a room, I am going to be alot stricter on the single/couple question. Having a BF/GF come over now and again is fine, having the other half living there for half the week is not on IMO, and if I am in that situation again, I will be upping the rent.

Hobart

What, exactly, is everybodies issue with the Bf staying over? As the OP has clearly stated, the BF does not use the common areas (not that I would have any issue with that) and they keep themselves to her room when he comes over. So, again, what exactly is the issue with the guy coming over?

MJOR

I think a good idea would be to sit down and draw up some ground rules now before the new person moves in. I feel sorry for them moving into such an atmosephere.


Ground rules should be drawn up and you should sit down like adults and discuss it.

Either that or one of you needs to make the move, If your BF stays in the room I don't see the problem

WilmaRidesAgain

<<then got a new car and started arking it between 2 spots on purpose!
>>

Thats it, right there, people who do this type of sh1t are mad and to be avoided !!!

She sounds neurotic and overly territorial OP, If she is already ignoring you things cant get much worse fcuk her, just move on as soon as you can with your BF and in the meantime use as much hot water as you can and eat her bread...in front of her face, she will soon stop ignoring you then! HA you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb!!!

Only joking, not advocating disrespecting her of course!

BUT, she sounds like an unreasonable psycho! If the two of ye aren't even coming out of the room and shes bringing over randomers herself, shes being a right hypocrite.

Still thought, I wouldn't waste any more energy trying to reason with her, she sounds radio rental to be honest!

Move out and blank the weird cow!

syklops

Mathew Reilly wrote: »

My advice- move out..I know you said that you won't find a place that's cheaper etc but you have to think about the overall picture.

Cant agree more.

I can never understand these people who moan about other tenant's gf/bf etc.
simple matter it's not their house, you're paying for your room and the common law factilities so it' none of their business.

You have never been a lease holder obviously. 2 people in a room creates more wear and tear than 1. 2 people using common facilities uses the facilities more than 1 person would. If it is a communal toilet, then there is more of a wait for the loo. Its fine now and again. 3 or even 4 nights a week is too much. As a lease holder I would charge more rent for a couple than for a single person.

If anything they should be grateful that you're both not hogging the living room +tv and being all lovey dovey etc in front of them.

They should be grateful?!?? Are you kidding?

I dont want to ever live with you.....

WilmaRidesAgain

<<The financial aspect aside, if you moved into the house and she was expecting you to be single and your not, then you can understand her for being a bit miffed.>>

Eh NO ....why?

<<Also staying in your room when he is there, but staying in the communal areas when he is not might be making things worse, because she is thinking she is not good enough for you when he is around.>>

Well of course she isnt, psycho flatmate is a whinging loony, the fella is OPs BOYFRIEND, Boyfriend trumps flatmate every time, hands down, no questions asked, END OF ! And so it should be!

<<Also, she keeps saying she wants a boyfriend. You disappearing off to your room when your boyfriend arrives would make me very annoyed in a same situation.>>

Well thats not something you should be admitting to or proud of, its one thing feeling jealousy but its quite another feeling justified in it. Shes not.

Hobart

syklops wrote: »

You have never been a lease holder obviously. 2 people in a room creates more wear and tear than 1. 2 people using common facilities uses the facilities more than 1 person would. If it is a communal toilet, then there is more of a wait for the loo. Its fine now and again. 3 or even 4 nights a week is too much. As a lease holder I would charge more rent for a couple than for a single person.

The OP has clearly stated that there is nothing in the lease which precludes her from having guests in her room. Secondly, it appears that it is the OP's flat mate who has people over in the common area, and not the OP. Thirdly, wear and tear, you must be joking. Fourthly, unless the BF has a dose of the trots on a regular basis, or his loo timing is woefully off, I don't see the use of the loss as a major issue, or grounds for the behaviour of the flatmate.

In short, wear and tear and loo hogging sound just like lame excuses and clutching at straws.

syklops

Hobart wrote: »

Thirdly, wear and tear, you must be joking.

Are their no householders/leaseholders on here who will back me up on this?

......grounds for the behaviour of the flatmate.

Dont get me wrong, the OP's flat mate has no excuse for her ridiculous and childish behaviour, I am just saying the boyfriend issue might be exacerbating things a little.

<<The financial aspect aside, if you moved into the house and she was expecting you to be single and your not, then you can understand her for being a bit miffed.>>

Eh NO ....why?

Let me re-phrase that slightly, I meant if she was expecting it to be just you, and got you and the boyfriend half the time, then I would be miffed.

If the boyfriend moved in full time would you not be miffed? Not even a little? You must be a very calm person then.

<<Also, she keeps saying she wants a boyfriend. You disappearing off to your room when your boyfriend arrives would make me very annoyed in a same situation.>>

Well thats not something you should be admitting to or proud of, its one thing feeling jealousy but its quite another feeling justified in it. Shes not.

I don't know what your insinuating but I do not like it.

This is obviously a small and sad person(the OP's housemate), but I am trying to see it from her point of view, and if I was in a similar situation, where when the OP's boyfriend arrived, they disappeared off to her room, all the time, and never spent time in the communal areas, I would be annoyed by it.