Brick Layer

EricM

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the worker's
Compensation Board.

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Section 3 of the accident report form. I put
`poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a
fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be
sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I
completed my work, I found that I had some brick's left over
which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
500lbs. Rather than carry the brick's down by hand I decided to
lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to
the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope
at the ground I went up to the roof swung the barrel out and
loaded the brick's into it. Then I went down and untied the
rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the bricks.

You will note in section 11 of the accident report form that I
weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground
so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of
the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the
side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met
the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally
impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor
abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of
the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into
the pulley, Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence
of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of
beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time,
however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of
the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel
now weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles,
broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
barrel seemed to slow me down to lessen my injuries when I fell
into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae
were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on
the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my
composure and presence of mind and I let go of the rope and I
lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down
onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,

Mike Pashby

jay_haych

1. Dear Boss, I write this note
To tell you of my plight
And at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue,
My face a deathly gray
And I hope you understand
Why Paddy's not at work today.

2. While working on the fourteenth floor,
Some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off
The top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased,
He was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down
The ladder in me hod.

3. Well clearing all those bricks by hand,
It seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job,
I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks
Is heavier than me.

4. So when I had untied the rope,
The barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I took off like a rocket
And to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down.
5. Well the barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock
From this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load
Fourteen floors below.

6. Now when those building bricks fell
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
So I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope
As I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks
That were all scattered 'round.

7. Now as I lay there on the deck
I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top,
That's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me,
And I didn't have a hope
And as I was losing conciousness,
I let go the bloody rope.

8. The barrel being heavier,
It started down once more
And landed right on top of me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm,
And I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why
Paddy's not at work today.