any atheist god parents here ?

SonOfPerdition

I'm wondering if anyone here has been asked to be a god parent before and how they handled the christening cermony.

Did you just go along with it knowing it was meaningless garbage or did you refuse to be a god parent?

I've been asked to be god father to my wifes nephew and i'm delighted to do it . . it's just the religious ceremony part makes me wanna puke. Mind you, i'll suffer through it if i have to . .lying bare faced to the priest might actually give me some satisfaction.

anyone else face this dilemma ? Surely it can't be uncommon?

SOP

delly

I'm a godparent to my niece and also stood for her Confirmation. I was happy to be asked to perform the roll and they are aware of my non believing views. I didn't really mind doing the church thing as its not something that bothers me, but you sound like you may be hardcore anti-church based on your puking reference.

pH

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

I'm wondering if anyone here has been asked to be a god parent before and how they handled the christening cermony.

Did you just go along with it knowing it was meaningless garbage or did you refuse to be a god parent?

I've been asked to be god father to my wifes nephew and i'm delighted to do it . . it's just the religious ceremony part makes me wanna puke. Mind you, i'll suffer through it if i have to . .lying bare faced to the priest might actually give me some satisfaction.

anyone else face this dilemma ? Surely it can't be uncommon?

SOP

But why? I have no idea why you would consider doing this, or indeed why the parents would ask you. The primary role of the Godparent is to ensure that the child's religious education and indoctrination is carried out. Why you would want to lie to a priest that you will be happy to do that is beyond me, as is why the parents would ask you (if they know you don't believe).

Now I know that some may claim that Godparents have a more secular role (primarily meaning 2 people outside the immediate family who can never forget to buy a birthday/Christmas present for fear of a catastrophic end to the friendship), but this is a religious ceremony. I suppose if they're willing to ask you then they probably don't care, but why get your child baptised in that case?

MrPudding

pH wrote: »

but why get your child baptised in that case?

"Good" schools / indoctrination centres? Stopping your believing families from giving you crap?

MrP

robindch

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

I'm wondering if anyone here has been asked to be a god parent before and how they handled the christening ceremony.

Well, you will be asked to guarantee that you'll ensure the "christian education" of the child, so if you're happy ignoring that promise, then there's not much stopping you from accepting the invitation. Mind you, if the parents already know that you believe that religion is a pile of junk, then I'd be tempted to ask why they've invited you to be godparent, and why they're going through with the whole show to start with. Seems like a frightful waste of time, unless the mothers-in-law have hats they want to show off to each other.

Alternatively, you could just be subversive and agree to do whatever's asked of you at the ceremony, and then do your best to inoculate the kid against religion regardless. Most religions have an "it's ok to lie in the service of the religion" clause, so you could plausibly claim that atheism (incorrectly implying it's a religion) has a similar thing in place. I'm sure nobody would mind.

jimbling

I'm an Atheist. I'm a Godparent.... and I'm fine with that.
A ceremonial façade is water off a ducks back.
The broken heart of my mother if I had not accepted the role is not.

Either way, my sister did not ask me in order to ensure the childs religious education. She is Catholic, but not devout. She knows my stance... but understands that what she's really looking for is someone who will care dearly for her child.

I think you overestimate the strength of religion in this country. It just still has enough hold for majority to go through the motions... very few are still devout.

I was at a baptism last week where the father had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the church (slight exaggeration). But his wife was a barely practising Catholic, which meant it was expected of her. His only other trip to the church in the last 10 years was to a funeral.
On that note, what would you say about funerals?

I'm an Atheist, and I'll probably have my child baptised.... again, just so as not to cause the family pain. My mother would be hurt, my grandmother would drop dead!!!!

--amadeus--

Speaking personally I think a godparent is an adult that your child can in later years turn to with questions they may not feel comfortable talking over with parents. They should also be someone who sets a good moral example to the child and can act as a sort of moral compass - and non of that has anything to do with religion.

The ceremony means nothing but I don't think it's a comittment to take lightly, irrespective of religion.

WooPeeA

I was asked to be Godfather to my mom's brother's child and accepted it. But I'm an agnostic if it makes any difference.

You know, people believe in many different religions, every religion has its own "titles" like that reserved only for people close to the family. But all of them means the same = we respect you and we as parents want you to be someone close to our child. It's really nice and in my opinion refusing would be a little impolite...

Dades

If the parents are religious (for example, regularly go to mass), then I think you have a duty tell them your beliefs and allow them to quietly 'drop' you from contention if they so wish.

That said, if the parents are less concerned with the indoctrination of the kid, and more with having a trusted loved one in the kid's life, then I see no problem with mumbling a few prayers.

Lastly, with all due respect to the OP, if lying barefaced to a priest gives you satisfaction, then maybe Godparenthood just isn't for you.

Flamed Diving

I say the same thing in relation to all these type of questions. I view the religious event as being a ceremony which celebrates the people involved and as a coming together of friends and family. Therefore I take part in all the cult-like chanting and bowing, etc, in honour of these people and not whatever sky monster which is allegedly involved.

SonOfPerdition

delly wrote: »

I'm a godparent to my niece and also stood for her Confirmation. I was happy to be asked to perform the roll and they are aware of my non believing views. I didn't really mind doing the church thing as its not something that bothers me, but you sound like you may be hardcore anti-church based on your puking reference.

yeah, being a good catholic boy in my youth, i'v e developed a pretty strong anti church. I have stood for my sisters oldest lad before, but it was nearly 15 years ago and my stance has hardened in those years.

so, when you stood for your niece, did you just roll with the ceremony and utter the "i do" at the appropriate time?

SonOfPerdition

pH wrote: »

But why? I have no idea why you would consider doing this, or indeed why the parents would ask you. The primary role of the Godparent is to ensure that the child's religious education and indoctrination is carried out. Why you would want to lie to a priest that you will be happy to do that is beyond me, as is why the parents would ask you (if they know you don't believe).

Now I know that some may claim that Godparents have a more secular role (primarily meaning 2 people outside the immediate family who can never forget to buy a birthday/Christmas present for fear of a catastrophic end to the friendship), but this is a religious ceremony. I suppose if they're willing to ask you then they probably don't care, but why get your child baptised in that case?

well, for why i would do it is simple. i've a very good relationship with my in-laws and have always been very close with my sister in law. i feel honoured to be asked, and my wife is the god mother of their first child. i wouldn't let my lack of belief be a road block to it.

as for why their asking me knowing i'm an atheist, that i can't really say. neither are particulalry religious and i suspect they are just being pragmatic (school years etc) in having their children christened. if that is so, then having an atheist stand for their child is no big deal to them.

delly

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

yeah, being a good catholic boy in my youth, i'v e developed a pretty strong anti church. I have stood for my sisters oldest lad before, but it was nearly 15 years ago and my stance has hardened in those years.

so, when you stood for your niece, did you just roll with the ceremony and utter the "i do" at the appropriate time?

I can't remember what i did at the ceremony, but if there was an 'i do' in there, then I said it.

I've had my own kid since then and she remains unchristened, in line with my non believing status. If I had to, by some worse case scenario look after my niece, I would happily bring her to mass and ensure she got a Catholic education in line with her parents wishes. I have my believes and they have theres', its isn't a big deal tbh.

SonOfPerdition

--amadeus-- wrote: »

Speaking personally I think a godparent is an adult that your child can in later years turn to with questions they may not feel comfortable talking over with parents. They should also be someone who sets a good moral example to the child and can act as a sort of moral compass - and non of that has anything to do with religion.

The ceremony means nothing but I don't think it's a comittment to take lightly, irrespective of religion.

i like that amadeus, i haven't thought about the supporting role in later years that the role might bring, but now that you've said it, it makes perfect sense. Myself and my wife have been asked to be legal guardians in the event of anything happening to them but i always felt that was unlikely to be acted on. Being a god parent for him would certainly mean more involvement and hopefully someone he cna come to if needed.

cheers.

SonOfPerdition

Dades wrote: »

Lastly, with all due respect to the OP, if lying barefaced to a priest gives you satisfaction, then maybe Godparenthood just isn't for you.

no problem Dades, comment taken on board as it is intended. I see where you're coming from, but satisfaction at lying to a priest is far from the worst of my short comings. i'd hope the better parts of me compensate and make me a worthy role model.

SonOfPerdition

delly wrote: »

I can't remember what i did at the ceremony, but if there was an 'i do' in there, then I said it.

I've had my own kid since then and she remains unchristened, in line with my non believing status. If I had to, by some worse case scenario look after my niece, I would happily bring her to mass and ensure she got a Catholic education in line with her parents wishes. I have my believes and they have theres', its isn't a big deal tbh.

thats interesting. I hadn't thought about having to bring a child to mass. I guess i'd do the same as you, but i'd make sure to balance his exposure to christianity by educting him on other religions and atheism.

SonOfPerdition

thanks all, i didn't reply to all posts but i did read them all and all were useful. I have to wrap up now as the phone line is needed for wifey (lousy dial up land).

cheers.
SOP

Dades

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

i'd hope the better parts of me compensate and make me a worthy role model.

And despite the absence of a dusty old book, I'm sure they do!

DinoBot

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

thanks all, i didn't reply to all posts but i did read them all and all were useful. I have to wrap up now as the phone line is needed for wifey (lousy dial up land).

cheers.
SOP

OMG! There are still people using dial-up connection :P:P

failsafe

--amadeus-- wrote:

Speaking personally I think a godparent is an adult that your child can in later years turn to with questions they may not feel comfortable talking over with parents. They should also be someone who sets a good moral example to the child and can act as a sort of moral compass - and non of that has anything to do with religion.

Although I agreed to be a godfather when I was in my teens (and still mildly religious), this is how I have always viewed what the role/responsibility meant. I'm not sure how good I am at teaching my goddaughter about christianity - I wrote "happy communion, hope you enjoyed the bread!" on her communion card, which I hope she gets a kick out of if she still has it when she's older - but I do try and hope to be the best role model that I can be for her as she grows up.

I like Disney's take on it with the fairy godmother. If there were a male equivalent, who is always there when needed, to help advise or lend a compassionate ear, then that's what I would like to be as a godfather. And again, it need have nothing to do with religion.

Havermeyer

SonOfPerdition wrote: »

I'm wondering if anyone here has been asked to be a god parent before and how they handled the christening cermony.

Did you just go along with it knowing it was meaningless garbage or did you refuse to be a god parent?

I've been asked to be god father to my wifes nephew and i'm delighted to do it . . it's just the religious ceremony part makes me wanna puke. Mind you, i'll suffer through it if i have to . .lying bare faced to the priest might actually give me some satisfaction.

anyone else face this dilemma ? Surely it can't be uncommon?

SOP

Yup, I was made god father of my niece last year. I didn't have a problem with it. I just listened to the priest go on about how the children should be brought up in a christian family and all that. The christening mass was no big deal really, just stood there for my bit, did what I had to do and sat down when it was over. You'll be grand.

daveharnett

--amadeus-- wrote: »

They should also be someone who sets a good moral example to the child and can act as a sort of moral compass.

Yeah, that. And 'taking care of' anyone who messes with the child, obviously.