Groaners ...

forbairt

Hopefully they haven't been posted in a while ...

Prepare yourself ... dangerously bad puns ahead




Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it too.

---

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby
discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

---

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small
florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men
of
God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked
the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the
friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart,
the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh
beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so ... thereby proving that only Hugh can
prevent florist friars.

---

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family
in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name
him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had
a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."



*coat ... exit ... makes a run for it*