Top Ten Country & western Songs

Carrigart Exile

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me


7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's LikeYou're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.

Hagar

My favourite "How can I miss you if you won't go away?".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZhT5ZNyHlM

mickrourke

Excellent Stuff Mr. Exile!
Wasn't there one called 'You're the reason our kids are so ugly'

Turd Ferguson

I love the song "I kiss my wife with my fist" by Jimmy Billy Bobby.

Homer

Don't forget the classics..

- Her teeth was stained, but her heart was pure

- I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling

- I just bought a car from a guy that stole my girl, but the car don't run so I figure we got an even deal

- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

Turd Ferguson

Actual Country Song Titles:

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off--Joe Nichols

Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox If I Die--Joe Diffie

Dropkick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life--Bobby Bare

Here's A Quarter--Call Someone Who Cares--Travis Tritt

I'm A People--George Jones

Fax Me A Beer--Hank Williams, Jr.

The One on the Left is On The Right--Johnny Cash

A Boy Named Sue--ditto (writer: Shel Silverstein)

She's Got A Butt Bigger Than The Beatles (spoof of "They Got A Love Bigger than the Beatles)--Cletus T. Judd

Dizzyblonde

More actual songs;

I got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed crying over you

You're the reason our kids are so ugly

Get your tongue outta my mouth 'cause I'm kissing you goodbye

I flushed you from the toilets of my heart.


Oh, the romance..........................

fitz0

Don't forget the lovesong of our time
"I want to check you for ticks"
Classy

Alice1

"Does the chewing gum lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight?"

Carrigart Exile

Alice1 wrote: »

"Does the chewing gum lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight?"

ah the great Lonnie

Fey!

There's always reverse C&W;

"My wife came back, my pickup started, and my dog didn't get run down"

pdebarra

And no mention of the perennial favourite, "If I'da knowed that you'da wanted to have went, I'da seed that you'da got to get to go"

Popinjay

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off--Joe Nichols

A classic song including the line;

"Them panty-hose ain't gonna last too long if the DJ puts Bon Jovi on."

fitz0 wrote: »

"I want to check you for ticks"

With the following opening;

"Every time you take a sip
In this smokey atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half
Of your butterfly tattoo"


Love my country music and I'm not even a damn yankee.

WindSock

Or what about the classic:

'Mamma get a hammer (there's a fly on Poppas head)

Vic Vinegar

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Actual Country Song Titles:
Dropkick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life--Bobby Bare

Ha! that is bloody hillarious!

pyramuid man

What about "if I shot you when I wanted to I'd be out by now."
"Sorry I made you cry but at least your face is a cleaner"
"If you wont leave me alone I'll find someone who will"
"When you leave walk out backwards so it will look like your walking in"

Pub

On topic

What do you get when you play country music backwards??
















You get your dog back your wife back you marry a very pretty woman ect...

:rolleyes: