Telling your parents about your first time.

trowelled

Dudess wrote: »

Sadly it won't. A lobotomy is your only option...

lobotomy it is so

kowloon

jigglywoo wrote: »

My mother handed me a box of condoms when I was 16

Quite the moment I imagine, If you're anything like me you're still on the same box :mad:. .

Abi

Beau x1 wrote: »

I wasn't going to lie or anything as what was the point in that? May as well have told them when it was easiest to.

I'd have told them to mind their own business, that you are neither a child nor stupid. By the sounds of things, it was your mother behind it all.


You can't be around your off-spring 24/7. So you have no choice but to have faith in them, and give them a chance to prove they can take care of themselves. That carry on was out of order.

jigglywoo

kowloon wrote: »

Quite the moment I imagine, If you're anything like me you're still on the same box :mad:. .

Was weird alright, she said nothing to me. Handed me another box a year later without a word, haven't been given any more since

Dudess

LadyJ wrote: »

That desperate for it, was she?

Heh... nice!

LadyJ

Dudess wrote: »

Heh... nice!

I rarely make "yore ma's" but I couldn't resist!

dr.bollocko

Hmmm.
I wasted a lot of time reading this thread with its sexy premise.

I have to say that you people are all ignoring the obvious issue with the premise.
If anyone's parents, ever, anywhere, ask you about your sex life, your automatic, pre-programmed, unable to control response is a flat outright denial the likes of which can only be repeated if they ask you about drugs, drink, that naughty girl down the road and exam results.

Methinks that this young fellow may be a cult member or was way too desperate to share the news of his newly John Terry'd virginity.
Either way it is a rookie mistake that implies falling at the first hurdle and I would humbly suggest that it was an ungentlemanly act befitting of an immediate siteban and possibly some sort of jigsaw style mass stalking.

Imagine!
The outlaws knowing about you doing the naughty.

If you were his lady and he had just done the inaugural ugly bump. and you were feeling vulnerable and on the verge of flower blossom, would you want to converse with the manufacturer of the hymenator in question?
Poor call OP.

trowelled

TeletextPear wrote: »

oh thats durty - i think id throw up if that happened :eek:

I think I nearly did. Noone should have to see that. Oh god the image is back save me save me!! Though as I said earlier at least I don't have to discuss sex with the folks, bless that unwritten rule from that fateful night

brianthebard

dr.bollocko wrote: »

If you were his lady and he had just done the inaugural ugly bump. and you were feeling vulnerable and on the verge of flower blossom, would you want to converse with the manufacturer of the hymenator in question? Poor call OP.

hymenator-fantastic! And a quality yore ma-ism from lady j!

Beau x1

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Methinks that this young fellow may be a cult member or was way too desperate to share the news of his newly John Terry'd virginity.

What? It was a year ago...

Edit: Oh you meant to my parents? Nope, I've just always been honest to them. They're cool about it now.

I'm not trying to start anything here but tbh I think your ignorance of my family situation is what your post is composed from. Some of us are actually completely competent in having a chat about mature issues with our parents, while others wouldn't even go near such topics even at a far greater age.

fonpokno

God I'm completely incapable of talking to my parents about any sorts mature issues. God no. Whenever there's any sort of man person on the scene my mother randomly says things like "I certainly hope you're not doing anything you should be with <insert name here>".

silly anti-drink, anti-sex, anti-late night, anti-fun woman...

dr.bollocko

Beau x1 wrote: »

What? It was a year ago...

Edit: Oh you meant to my parents? Nope, I've just always been honest to them. They're cool about it now.

I'm not trying to start anything here but tbh I think your ignorance of my family situation is what your post is composed from. Some of us are actually completely competent in having a chat about mature issues with our parents, while others wouldn't even go near such topics even at a far greater age.

I assure you my good friend that on the rare occasion upon which you may see my name pop up in a boards thread, the response is always a measured insight.
Now I can sail close to the wind occasionally in doing so, and it may sometimes cuts to the heart of the poster in question.
This can result in a negative reaction initially, (I understand) but I assure you that if you observe my teachings in the gentlemanly arts, I can school you through these tough times of young manhood and out the other side to the mastery of chivalrous vaguery.

Beau x1

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I assure you my good friend that on the rare occasion upon which you may see my name pop up in a boards thread, the response is always a measured insight.
Now I can sail close to the wind occasionally in doing so, and it may sometimes cuts to the heart of the poster in question.
This can result in a negative reaction initially, (I understand) but I assure you that if you observe my teachings in the gentlemanly arts, I can school you through these tough times of young manhood and out the other side to the mastery of chivalrous vaguery.

Nice hand, but you're a terrible sailor I'm afraid and should think before you post buddy.

fonpokno wrote:

God I'm completely incapable of talking to my parents about any sorts mature issues. God no. Whenever there's any sort of man person on the scene my mother randomly says things like "I certainly hope you're not doing anything you should be with <insert name here>".

silly anti-drink, anti-sex, anti-late night, anti-fun woman...

Haha, ask her to elaborate on what you shouldn't be doing and watch her reaction.

fonpokno

Beau x1 wrote: »

Haha, ask her to elaborate on what you shouldn't be doing and watch her reaction.

Ha no she'd never let me out of the house again! Even if I don't agree with her on everything, she's still my mother and i'm still living in her house. most unfortunately...

And every now and again she makes scary comments. We'll all be sitting watchin a film or somethin and then a sex scene will come on and she'll say "it's not like that in real life you know"


*cringe*

Beau x1

fonpokno wrote: »

We'll all be sitting watchin a film or somethin and then a sex scene will come on and she'll say "it's not like that in real life you know"


*cringe*

Haha, I hate when you watch movies with the 'rents and sex scenes come up. You can't leave because then you look insecure with whats going on but at the same time its hard to be all casual.

baby_blu

Beau x1 wrote: »

I remember I had slept over at the girlfriends house at the time, and when I came home my parents asked me who was the one who used contraception. Just like that, out of the blue, assuming I had sex. I said I had (the old rubber always works well...I wasn't going to lie or anything as what was the point in that? May as well have told them when it was easiest to.

Anyway, needless to say my mom burst into tears and started calling my girlfriend a dirty slut - it was hilarious. My dad patted my brother on the back stating "well there's only one gay in the family now". Haha.

How did it go for you? Mine was quite dramatic and uncessarily so at that too.

well my bf at the time hated my dad- and my dad hated him, so my bf called up to my door the week after we first had sex(also my 1st time) and said to him " btw i rode your daughter the other week"

im not joking my father tore down the street after him- nearly 10 years ago- Memories!!!!!!! AND YES I WAS 13 BEFORE YE START COUNTING ha i know BIGGEST MISTAKE of my life i tell ya.

Funny remembering my dads reaction tho i was grounded for about 6 months

BubbleWrap85

13?!

useful_contacts

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

13?!

i know- for the record it was pretty much peer pressure i was pretty influenced by the group i was in and i was the only one that hadnt had sex (said a lot for me bowing to that pressure) but i grew up pretty fast after that and i hate the girl who lead that gang now and theres a reason for it- she influenced me big time bk then and i was dumb enough to listen to her.

Anyway yes i was stupid i regret it so much

ilovemybrick

Beau x1 wrote: »

Haha, I hate when you watch movies with the 'rents and sex scenes come up. You can't leave because then you look insecure with whats going on but at the same time its hard to be all casual.

Even worse is things like in Gladiator where 's Commodus is lusting after his sister. Makes family viewing really uncomfortable.

Pride Fighter

Its just a generation gap on the part of the OP and his ma. No biggy IMO, but the guys da is hillarious.

hussey

Jigsaw wrote: »

I can barely remember the last time!! :eek:

Neither can she, thankfully she didn't press charges

useful_contacts

Beau x1 wrote: »

Haha, I hate when you watch movies with the 'rents and sex scenes come up. You can't leave because then you look insecure with whats going on but at the same time its hard to be all casual.

i remember watching the 2 ace venturas with my folks and when the sex scenes came on id be like " so dad how was work" (tryin to draw attenton away from the scene)

WAS SOME SHAME!!!!!!!!!

But only cos dad would say "Liz you were v quite until now are you embarassed by the sex scene"

I hated him for that

Ah-Watch

Beau x1 wrote: »

Oh yes. Genuine tears.
17? Get outta town.


Well I said to her defending my girlfriend that she was probably a whore at her age too or something along those lines. Madness ensued.

oh go i'm in knots laughing, good one!:eek::eek::eek::D:D:D:D:D

Jello

Would never tell them about my first time, thank you very much! Some things they don't need to know
Funny thread though.

GrumPy

Dudess wrote: »

nah... I know it's only sex but... eww... not something for discussing with the parents.

+1. people that would talk to their own parents about sex is messed up.


EDIT:

(as opposed to their lovers parents):pac:

challengemaster

elmyra wrote: »

I never ever plan to talk to my parents about my sex life. I'm sure they'd be perfectly cool about it but kinda too cool. My Dad once told me I should carry condoms incase of rape. Overactive parenting, tbh.

Incase you get the urge to rape someone? Otherwise that makes as much sense as tCN at the best of times.

Ruu_Old

Beau x1 wrote: »

Haha, I hate when you watch movies with the 'rents and sex scenes come up. You can't leave because then you look insecure with whats going on but at the same time its hard to be all casual.

*loud cough* "I'm going to put on a brew, do yiz want one?"

hussey

Ruu wrote: »

*loud cough* "I'm going to put on a brew, do yiz want one?"

+1, but they used to ask me to make it.

Though I do remember my mother getting the word erotic and exotic mixed up.

"Why don't you go somewhere erotic for your holidays this year"

WTF:eek:

Ah-Watch

hussey wrote: »

my mother getting the word erotic and exotic mixed up.
WTF:eek:

and when ya were in school mixing up organism and orgasim- oh the shame LOL!;)

Michellenman

hussey wrote: »

+1, but they used to ask me to make it.

Though I do remember my mother getting the word erotic and exotic mixed up.

"Why don't you go somewhere erotic for your holidays this year"

WTF:eek:

I did that once to my whole family, we saw one of those white and grey fluffy dogs that used to be on the Dulux ads.

''Oh look! That looks like the dog from the Durex ads!!''

SHAME!