wimmins

Crumble Froo

well, was out tonight, and my mate's female friend was out too. met in his gaf, i was there first, she got there, and it was pretty much straight from there to the venue, so we left pretty soon after she arrived... felt a bit awkward on the way there, my mate was askin how things were, i answered, but it felt like she wasnt saying anything/contributing to conversation at all, she basically didnt say a word the whole time...

got to the venue and my mate saw some of his mates, and went and said hi for a minute, leaving me and her together, i tried to make some conversation, talk about the week... ended up rambling... stopping... silence.

mate came back later, was like 'whoa, what's up with you two?!', i tried the whole conversation thing again later, and nothing... tried again later, apologising cos im just generally crap with new people, she said twas the same for her, had a brief conversation about her earrings...a nd more silence.

listened to the artist for a bit...she went for a fag... mate called me over to where he was... i stuck it out for a lil longer and said **** it, went home.

but all in all, that's been just a reincarnation of a topic that has come up with me a few times in the last week or so... i just can't handle girls in general!

there's some that i love to bits, really cool chicks, but, for the most part, especially when it comes to meeting new people, i tend to get on infinitely better with chicks who are mostly mates with guys, or just with guys in general.

personally, i find that groups of girls are the worst. just this horrible judgemental, bitchy attitude, and i just can't hack it. i've tried, time and again, and i just really can't hack it, the bitchy remarks, snide comments, everything from the way i handle myself to the way i dress myself, girls can just be so horrible, and, i have to admit, for me... it seems to be the majority of girls i have this problem with.

after that, well, there's been sound ones who were nice, but kinda... well... dim... conversation outside boys and clothes was just waaaaaaaay too much of a stretch. nice girls n all, but pity the nice ones in these scenarios were just so... well, really not that bright at all...

so question is... your group of mates... mostly girls? guys? mix? who do you find you connect best with? is it just me and the people i meet, or do girls really tend to be less friendly/more bitchy/harder to get on with in general?

and really, general is very much the word of the post... but, in general, ive found girls to always be more difficult to talk to/get on with than guys. but anyway... ye're thoughts...

LadyJ

I'm in the same boat as you. I much prefer guys. Most of my closest friends are male. I do have female friends, all of whom I get on with extremely well but most of whom I've known for a very long time. I rarely make new female friends.

That said, I'm always friendly to new girls that I meet and generally I can get on well with pretty much anyone but I just find myself more comfortable talking to guys. I think a lot of girls are intimidated by my bluntness and find me a little shocking. Some guys do too but generally they get me more than women do.

Wibbs

I've got a few bloody good women mates and as a guy I don't see this so much, unless there are other women around. Then with a lot of women all bets are off. IMHO women are much more competitive with each other than men are with each other. It's also on more levels.

Crumble Froo

it's interesting to hear this from a guy's perspective, cos initially the conversation was... 'soooo... any hot chicks?'... to which i promptly replied that all the women were gay, evil, or both...

got into a whole conversation about it,a nd ended up with the lads agreeing that, yeah, walking into a room of chicks was intimidating, asyou know they were checkin out your clothes/style/mates etc, and were probably judging you and bitching baout yyou as youw ere just having a laugh on the dancefloor.

LadyJ

Wibbs wrote: »

IMHO women are much more competitive with each other than men are with each other. It's also on more levels.

I used to think this too but then I started discussing it with my male friends and came to the conclusion that men are just as competitive as women but in very different ways.

LadyJ

LadyJ wrote: »

I used to think this too but then I started discussing it with my male friends and came to the conclusion that men are just as competitive as women but in very different ways.

The difference is that us men do compete with each other openly and very regularly. Every bar has a darts board or a pool table or something in it for men to compete on and there is a clear winner. Men get used to winning and losing to each other and it causes no problems.

Women do not openly compete often. They are subtle and, frankly, a little sneaky about it. They compete in terms of clothes, boyfriends, jobs, etc. I do not mean to make women sound superificial but these seem to be the arenas that women choose to compete in. Men seem to choose games of skill to test themselves against one another while women seem to compete in terms of social status. Frankly I find the latter far more invidious.

LadyJ

I agree that men do openly compete but from talking to male friends, it became pretty clear that they also do it in other ways too. Other ways that are so open at all.

Crumble Froo

see, i've yet to come across it in males in general... maybe it's just me, but any i've come across over the last few omths, have been nothing but friendly and accommodating... while fmelaes have been... well... anything from weird to just plain bitchy.

Eviledna

I am in exactly the same boat. All through college, school, even way back, I get on much better with lads and find women hard to fathom. I am girly-ish, I like my make up and my giggles, but I also like my computer, sci-fi and other nerdy persuits:D
Any girls that I have tried with but failed as friends were usually too judgemental ("OMFG you seriously loike dont watch that loike star trek do you loike?:rolleyes:"), close-minded and walking stereotypes. And incredibly dull. There is only so much talking about men/clothes/posh spice that I can do. Ten mins is my limit.
The sad thing is that I am pretty lonely sometimes for female companionship, the kind I had when I was a kid. Simple non-complicated fun, with no mind games. I have been through so many female friends that I feel that I'm doomed from the start with most girls. I do my best to be as friendly as possible, but I just can't sacrifice who I am once more for a potential friend. It's not worth it.:(
So I have one or two close friends that I see as often as I can. And then there's always you ladies:p

Crumble Froo

wow

that post kinda spoke to my heart.

LadyJ

Star Trek is great! Screw them!

Jack Sheehan

Engage!

LadyJ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6oUz1v17Uo

6th

Stick 12 women in a room and they'll end up fighting. Stick 12 guys in a room and they'll end up laughing. FACT.

Jim

So...you don't have a girlfriend? You're not married? And you don't watch Star Trek?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AArX50Kulns

Eviledna

Lol, what have I started I don't think I've laughed so hard in ages, that picard song is legend and I don't know how I haven't seen it till now!:D

Thanks all, and especially crumble froo for starting this thread. I hope that you will see that it is a universal problem. I bet there are guys that feel the same about men too!

The Recliner

I would have more female friends than male friends

I just seem to get on really well with girls as friends, I don't see it as a problem, get on grand with guys too just seem to collect more female friends for some reason

Jack Sheehan

I think it's because theres no such thing as bitchiness with men. Well for the most part anyway.

Pen1987

I have three very close female friends I would never even think of being attracted to, although they are all very attractive. Other than that every woman I see it a potential future partner and I like to keep it that way. Let hassle in life in general.

The 12 men 12 women comment, troof.

If you find yourself struggling for words with a woman, tease her about it. Once you tease someone, in a nice way, they get defnesive and have to speak thus continuing the conversation. Or bring up random topics 'what do you think of that dudes hat?' her-'blah blah' you-'I have a great hat I got in 'quirkey non-chain store shop' have you ever been there? its great they have 'this' there, I was in a similar one in 'insert country youve been to' where they had huge hats, like mexican ones. Actually come to think of it I'm going to travel to Mexico next time I'm away, JUST to get a huge hat.' There, you've brought up topics to talk on - 1. Hats 2. Weird shops 3. Travelling if she cant continue the conversation from there and open up to you shes a mute.

tallaght01

The Tallaght01 opinion on this sociological phenomenon is this......it's just easier to be mates with the opposite sex.

I prefer hanging out with the boys. I have much more in common with them, as I am one. I often have very little to talk about with girls. But we'll always be uber nice if there's a girl out with us. She'll geta lot of attention, there'll be some harmless flirting. She's not a threat to anyone, so there's no posturing. There's an element of chivalry too, so we'll just generally be pleasant to her. So, it's a pretty easy process for her to integrate and be accepted.

Similarly, if I happen to be the guy in a group of girls they'll be nice to me. They'll kind of mammy me. I'm not a threat to them, so there's no bitchiness towards me.

If I'm out with a group of guys I've never met before, it can be a bit difficult. We're all posturing, and trying to be the big man. I'm a potential threat to them (in terms of competetiveness.....but only if they're ****ing arse-ugly, in fairness :P ). But if a girl turned up, they'd immediately, by and large, be nice to her.

The only time I'd be a bit wanky with a girl is if it's supposed to be a boys night out, and one of the lads brings his bird. I tend to be a bit standoff-ish in those cases.

That's my other, unrelated, point.... NEVER, EVER go out with your boyfriend/husband on their boys nights out. NO matter how much his mates tell you that "you're just like one of the boys".

Thanks for your time

Loopy

I have a handful of girlfriends that I have been mates with since school and we understand each other, we like clothes and talking about sex etc but so not into all the girly shit.

Any mates that I have made along the way since then seem to be men, (A lot of them gay). I work with all men and I adore them:p With men I find they say it out straight to you, you can have a barney and then its like, do you want a cup of tea or what? and its forgotten.. With women its different, grudges are held, And I mean HELD..

Weidii

eviledna wrote: »

I am in exactly the same boat. All through college, school, even way back, I get on much better with lads and find women hard to fathom. I am girly-ish, I like my make up and my giggles, but I also like my computer, sci-fi and other nerdy persuits:D
Any girls that I have tried with but failed as friends were usually too judgemental ("OMFG you seriously loike dont watch that loike star trek do you loike?:rolleyes:"), close-minded and walking stereotypes. And incredibly dull. There is only so much talking about men/clothes/posh spice that I can do. Ten mins is my limit.
The sad thing is that I am pretty lonely sometimes for female companionship, the kind I had when I was a kid. Simple non-complicated fun, with no mind games. I have been through so many female friends that I feel that I'm doomed from the start with most girls. I do my best to be as friendly as possible, but I just can't sacrifice who I am once more for a potential friend. It's not worth it.:(
So I have one or two close friends that I see as often as I can. And then there's always you ladies:p

Jynxed!

God I never thought I'd hear those words coming from another girls keyboard.

There should be conventions for folk like you and I, 'cause seriously, normal girls suck

LivingDeadGirl

I find it difficult to form long lasting friendships with girls, or close friendships with girls, it seems that most of them have no interest in being anything more than an acquaintance, and I don't know why I'm always the person who'll make an effort to be friendly and make it clear I enjoy their company, but alas, no one but myself ever reaches out first.
I do have a few close female friend but I trust my close male friends more, they don't fly off the handle easily, or think the friendship is history if we don't talk for more than a short while, I know they won't bitch about me the way girls do, and they are much easier and more open when getting to know them.

fly_agaric

LadyJ wrote: »

Star Trek is great! Screw them!

Everyone, man, woman, child, dog, cat etc should at least like Startrek (including Voyager). People who mock & abuse others for their love of Startrek will burn in hell.

Wibbs

Pen1987 wrote: »

If you find yourself struggling for words with a woman, tease her about it. Once you tease someone, in a nice way, they get defnesive and have to speak thus continuing the conversation. Or bring up random topics 'what do you think of that dudes hat?' her-'blah blah' you-'I have a great hat I got in 'quirkey non-chain store shop' have you ever been there? its great they have 'this' there, I was in a similar one in 'insert country youve been to' where they had huge hats, like mexican ones. Actually come to think of it I'm going to travel to Mexico next time I'm away, JUST to get a huge hat.' There, you've brought up topics to talk on - 1. Hats 2. Weird shops 3. Travelling if she cant continue the conversation from there and open up to you shes a mute.

I don't think Crumble Froo's trying to pick up women though.

A lot of women in this thread, and I am not trying to start a fight, are saying something along the lines of "It's so true, I find that other women are so bitchy etc so I prefer men as friends". I have heard this so often from women while they were bitching about other women it's frightening.

OK, here is the simple fact: 2 men can be friends, 3 men can be friends, 16 men can be friends, no problem. Howerver; 2 women can be friends, 3 women will fight, 4 women will split into two's and bitch about each other, 5 women will bitch constantly and anymore than 6 women will have all out war at some stage.

Sex in the City is the greatest bull**** ever as a nymphomaniac, an anal retentive lawyer, a prude and a self-obsessed fashionista would NEVER be able to stay friends that long.

bennyblanco

Deleted User wrote: »

The difference is that us men do compete with each other openly and very regularly. Every bar has a darts board or a pool table or something in it for men to compete on and there is a clear winner. Men get used to winning and losing to each other and it causes no problems.

Women do not openly compete often. They are subtle and, frankly, a little sneaky about it. They compete in terms of clothes, boyfriends, jobs, etc. I do not mean to make women sound superificial but these seem to be the arenas that women choose to compete in. Men seem to choose games of skill to test themselves against one another while women seem to compete in terms of social status. Frankly I find the latter far more invidious.

Hi all,
I read in New Scientist there the other week that this is completely true in studies they did with groups of kids in the 'States.The boys would compete openly but the girls would basically connive to isolate and eventually ostracize their rival(s) from the group.To do this they would spread stories and generally bitch about the other girl until the majority rejected her.There was never any open confrontation,it was all two-faced backstabbing tactics.Pretty sick stuff.
I get on pretty well with girls,there wasnt many boys my age around when I was growing up.Lads by and large are grand,although I cant stand the posturing ****(I admit I've probably been guilty of it in my time :pac:) but I'm older now so it's grand,or at least,the nature of the posturing has shifted:/
I feel for the OP here,I think there are so many factors that girls(particularly) are weighing up/judging in their interactions.If I wasnt so hungover I'd elaborate but I just cant stick the words together now:P

Nevyn

Look there are non girlie females out there, there are a lot more of us then we tend to think and yes crumble foo I have been there on a few nights out but I found that talking about giving birth in detail kills thier inane conversations and they then think I am werid and give me a wide berth but I only tend to resort to that after I have asked my 13 questions of intrest

monkeyfudge

6th wrote: »

Stick 12 women in a room and they'll end up fighting.

Also their menstrual cycles will synchronise and attract bears.

Nevyn

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Also their menstrual cycles will synchronise and attract bears.

You have no idea how much like hell convent school is when you are with the same 28 girls day in day out.............

LadyJ

^^^^^

Ugh, I do! At least if you run out of tampons someone else will always have one.