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what's the difference...

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  • 29-07-2008 12:01pm
    #1
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭


    what's the difference between apples and oranges?






    you can't wash your windows with a shovel


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    #2
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    There's no such thing as an apple bastard.


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    #3
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Hagar wrote: »
    There's no such thing as an apple bastard.

    Thats a bit tart!


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    #4
    patmac
    Registered Users Posts: 7,575 ✭✭✭patmac


    What's the difference between a Butler and a cross country runner

    One likes a pant in the country.

    What's the difference between a magician and a garda batton

    One's for Cunning Stunts.


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    #5
    Homer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,316 ✭✭✭Homer


    Since we're on stupid jokes :p

    Two muffins are sitting the oven. Then one goes: "Damn, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it...?" The other one jumps up and screams: "Holy shit! It's a talking muffin..."


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    #6
    FrCrilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 528 ✭✭✭FrCrilly


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055135564&highlight=what%27s+the+difference

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055136519&highlight=whats+the+difference


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    #7
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    what's green and has wheels?







    grass. I lied about the wheels


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    #8
    boneless
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,487 ✭✭✭boneless


    What's brown and sounds like a bell?

    Dung.


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    #9
    renmorescout
    Registered Users Posts: 125 ✭✭renmorescout


    Whats brown and Sticky...?





    A Stick !


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    #10
    bill_ashmount
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭bill_ashmount


    Two pigs sitting in a bath. One pig says to the other "Pass the soap please". Other pig says "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

    **********************************************************

    Boy walks into a shop and asks the man behind the counter for a white sliced pan. Shop owner says "sorry little man we only have brown sliced pans left". Little boy says "That's ok, I've got my bike outside".


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    #11
    Vic Vinegar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,241 ✭✭✭Vic Vinegar


    bill_ashmount wrote: »
    Two pigs sitting in a bath. One pig says to the other "Pass the soap please". Other pig says "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

    **********************************************************

    Boy walks into a shop and asks the man behind the counter for a white sliced pan. Shop owner says "sorry little man we only have brown sliced pans left". Little boy says "That's ok, I've got my bike outside".

    Bizarre!! funny also! :)


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    #12
    Awesomo-4000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭Awesomo-4000


    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Cos he was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    Cos he was tied to the first one.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    He thought it was a game.

    Why did the sheep fall out of the tree?

    He thought he was a monkey.


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    #13
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    how do you know if an elephant is in your fridge?

    there'll be footprints in the butter

    how do you know if there's 2 elephants in your fridge?

    you won't be able to close the door

    how do you know if there's 3 elephants in your fridge?

    there'll be one very bored looking elephant parked in a mini out the front.


    what did Alexander The Great say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

    "oh look, here come the elephants"

    wat did Alexander The Great say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

    nothing. He didn't recognise them


    how do elephants hide?

    they paint their balls red and hide in cherry trees

    what's the loudest sound in the jungle?

    a giraffe eating cherries


    what's green and brown and if it fell from a tree it would kill you?

    a snooker table


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    #14
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    whats black and white and goes bump bump bump bump bump bump......

    a nun falling down the stairs!



    whats black and white and goes hahahahahhahahhahahhahahahaha........

    the nun who pushed her!


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