Howeya-isms

Kernel

Jumpy wrote: »

Obviously a fake. No bus driver would be educated enough to know who Quasimodo was.

You shouldn't base your perceptions on intelligence on what job a person does. There are people with extremely high IQ's working ****ty factory jobs.

IvaBigWun

Fishyfreak wrote: »

A gang of skangers standing on a street corner, a little fat kid is spotted by the gang and the start to shuffle and wait for him to walk by.

The kid is weighed down by two bags of shopping and is waddling down the street, as he passes the skangers one of them says "Yaaa liiitle faaahh F*ckerrrrr".

The kid as cool as can be stops in his tracks, calmly places his two shopping bags on the ground and replies:

"I'm only this fat 'cos everytime I ride your ma she gives me a slice of cake".

Original skanger is speechless, rest of the skangers erupt into laughter and kid picks up his bags and walks on. Brilliant!

Genius.

chem

local alco in town here (call him the one man gypsy wedding, cus he can close ever pub when he is out) He desided he had enough of life and put a shotgun into his mouth. Pulled the trigger and boom. He was that wasted that he shot out the side of his check and lived.

Same bloke has a bad temper while drunk. He was in the pub and started a fight with another bloke. Before the fists started flying. The alco said to the other lad. "I`ll F**Kin KILL YEA" to which the other fella replys "sure what are yea on about yea couldn`t even kill yourself":pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

On plane to Lanzarote, while plane was flying through cloud and the sound dimmed a bit, a tough how'ya voice comes from the seat behind me.

"Here - I think we've fvckin' stopped..."

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

syklops wrote: »

Standing on Mainstreet in blackrock having a smoke, a white stretched limo pulls up, and the door opens and I get a look inside. Champagne, telly on and about eight or nine skangers inside in their finery blinged out to the max. One individual jumps out of the car and says to the others:

"Jaysus! Im dying for a bleedin slash!"

I laughed so much I got the hiccups!

And why do you think the limo pulled up so fast...?!

razorblunt

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

And why do you think the limo pulled up so fast...?!

Was in a Chinese Takeaway called The Great Wall in Cork, there a few months back and they had a massive painting of The Great Wall itself hanging, anyway these "waahs" as they're called in Cork come in. Gang of about 5, one of them sees the picture and says
"**** I always thought The Great Wall was, like, ya know....Great as in height"

Waah no 2: "Wha, you mean it isn't?"

Everyone got a good laugh out of it including the rest of their group and the lads themselves.