Socialising?

the fnj

Hey quick question,

I’m a drinker (and I’m not sorry) but three times in my life I quit for extended periods, twice for sport and once as a personal social experiment (for want of a better explanation).

I always found it quite hard being out when I wasn’t drinking and ultimately it was this that put me ‘back on the bottle’. When I would go out with friends to a pub etc everything would be fine we’d be having a laugh and the conversation would be flowing (I’m well able to talk in a group without needing a few drinks). However the night would always reach a point where I just felt I was unable to relate to the people around me.

Nearly all my friends are smart, coherent and considerate people and they are responsible drinkers but shortly after the six beer mark the conversation would start to drift away from anything I could enjoy. I’d find it inane and stupid and would either sit it out bored or just go home.

Do many non-drinkers here regularly go out to social events involving alcohol and if yes how do you find it/ deal with it?

Cheers

Feeonaw

Personally, I tend to avoid drinking situations. I'd much rather go to the cinema or go out for a meal. It can be difficult being the sober one on a nightout with friends! Conversations just don't have the same flow and it can be very boring cos there's nothing else to do. Fair play to those who can just sit there! I'm lucky cos most of my friends aren't big into drinking.

The whole point of this forum is to create a social network for people who would like to do something other than go drinking. So maybe the next time you want to socialise without the drink, you might think about coming along to one of the events? Just a suggestion.

Also, we're not anti-drink as the Non Drinkers Group includes drinkers and non drinkers. I probably should have come up with a better name, ey? Too late now!

geminilady

yeah i do go out sometimes with my 'drinker' friends, it doesnt really get to me that i dont drink when im out, i actually get really hyper and dance loads more than the rest of my friends!

an odd time i would think why am i bothering not drinking, but its only like a little thought im glad at the end of the night i have a clear head and can still go out and enjoy myself. but to answer your question yeah sometimes i can find it hard to relate to conversations bout nothing when im sober, but nearly always at the end of the night im glad i didnt drink.

Fair play to you, for giving up the drink even if it was for 3 times its still a great achievement.

offaly1

I go out most weekends, but i do agree when the conversation starts turning a bit to the drunk side, and you sober..its a bit annoying! then again the people i go out socialising with cannot fathom why i don't drink, and i've been described as "cocky" when sober?! I love going out having fun, dancing my ass off...and not have to wait for a taxi at the end of the night, jump into my car and off home i go!:D Big plus no hangover next morning,when everyone else is dying..:D:D

so go out there enjoy yourself and if you don't wanna drink...don't bother! its worth it when you can spend a sunday doing what ya like rather than nursing a hangover!!

Bruno1

Well OP, for a while, I did avoid social occasions that involved alcohol, especially those that involved alcohol and not a lot else, but these days, I go along have as much of a good time as I can, and then when i feel enough is enough, I go home. This works fine so long as you haven't promised someone you'll drive them home of course!! :rolleyes:

What you describe there is very true though, there's always a point, I find around about half past twelve or so, when you start thinking to yourself "I could swear we had this exact conversation ten minutes ago" and usually, you did. That's where drinking and not drinking part company for the night. I used to stick this out, but these days unless we were going on to a club, I'd go home. But maybe I'm just odd.......

gipi

Bruno1 wrote: »

What you describe there is very true though, there's always a point, I find around about half past twelve or so, when you start thinking to yourself "I could swear we had this exact conversation ten minutes ago" and usually, you did.

Ah, yes, what's fondly called sh1te talk (pardon the profanity), always kicks in when there's lots of drink around! You put it very well - drinkers and non-drinkers parting company just about then - found the same myself (even when I did have a drink it tended to be one or two, so I never reached the old sh....talk stage - I think ). I tend not to socialise much these days, and when I do, it's with people who drink little or nothing like myself - prefer going for a meal and have a glass of wine with it than get blathered in the pub to be honest!

eoi

geminilady wrote: »

yeah i do go out sometimes with my 'drinker' friends, it doesnt really get to me that i dont drink when im out, i actually get really hyper and dance loads more than the rest of my friends!

an odd time i would think why am i bothering not drinking, but its only like a little thought im glad at the end of the night i have a clear head and can still go out and enjoy myself. but to answer your question yeah sometimes i can find it hard to relate to conversations bout nothing when im sober, but nearly always at the end of the night im glad i didnt drink.

Fair play to you, for giving up the drink even if it was for 3 times its still a great achievement.

HI
i too have tried to give alcohol up on occassions, and found that about 2 hours into the nite, my patience waning as the conversation going around in circles and no one else noticed!! its like someone said " you are arguing FOR astroturf at 11pm" and arguing AGAINST astroturf as 11.30 pm!
but the going without drink thing scares me- its all ive ever known, its been made easier that friends are now having babies etc so off the drink! but my bf is a big drinker and this is becoming a bigger and bigger issue between us, as i cant handle hangovers, and cant be assed headin to pubs if not drinking! can it work, if one person is a big drinker adn the other just cant drink!