Would you let your 16 year old drink?

Irjudge1

Would you let your 16 year old drink in your company in a pub if it was legal?

When I started drinking in pubs it was on the occasion of my grandfathers funeral I was 16 at the time. For the next year or so after that I was allowed drink in the pub without any questions being asked. It was obviously illegal but it has to be sid tolerated. This was common enough for most of my friends of the same age. We were drinking in the same pub as our parents on the occassional saturday night.

We weren't drinking that much and we certainly weren't drinking spirits. By the time I was 18 and going to nightclubs I knew how much I could drink. Not that I always kept within my own limits some nights I wish I could forget and others I wish I could remember.

Anyway my opinion is that if teenagers were allowed drink in pubs under their parents supervision that they could learn to drink, learn their limits in a far safer environment than drinking in a field , alleyway with a gang of hormonal teenagers.

Queen-Mise

Don't really have an outstanding opinion on what you are saying.

i have one experience of it of when i lived in England. I had a friend, whose daughter was 15/16, and she was going very wild - out in the park drinking with boys, running away etc etc.

My friend decided to allow the daughter to drink at home & have a few spliffs, obviously not every night, as she was in school, but definitely sometimes at the weekend, a glass of wine with dinner, can or two. The daughter calmed down and definitely went out less, got on better in school.

I suppose by the result it was good parenting. up until the 18/19 mark, she never caused the trouble she had done.

silja

If it was legal, I'd let them have one drink- like a glass of wine with dinner or a glass of Guiness at a pub for a spcial occasion, but I wouldn't let them drink everytime we went out and no more than one drink, maybe two. Maybe strange, but I'd be much more reluctant to "let" them drink when they were without me, not that I could controll that anyhow.

nesf

I was introduced to alcohol by my father long before I started drinking in pubs and nightclubs. Generally I think it's a good idea. It takes the mystery out of it, you parent can get an idea for your tolerance for alcohol and can help you develop an awareness of it and most of all they can see what kind of drunk you are which is fairly important if there's a tendency towards violence when drunk in the family.

The worst thing in my opinion is for someone to leap into the wonderful world of alcohol with no-one but equally naive friends for advice/company. Most kids will start drinking at some point, I think it's better than they start under the supervision of someone with a bit of cop on.

So yeah, if legal, I would certainly take my son out for a few drinks at 15/16/whatever.

enda1

silja wrote: »

If it was legal, I'd let them have one drink- like a glass of wine with dinner or a glass of Guiness at a pub for a spcial occasion, but I wouldn't let them drink everytime we went out and no more than one drink, maybe two. Maybe strange, but I'd be much more reluctant to "let" them drink when they were without me, not that I could controll that anyhow.

It is legal to allow your child drink in your home.

littlebitdull

We already do allow ours to drink in our company, have been doing so for a number of years - they are now 17 and 15. We allow our elder one far more than the younger one. In fact it was only last year we started to allow her.

We would be very moderate to low level drinkers ourselves, but do enjoy a bottle of wine at home. They have never seen us drunk - actually I cant honestly remember the last time I did get drunk.

I would hope they learn more from our moderate drinking habits than the actual fact of allowing them a drink - I am hoping they learn that there is no harm in enjoying a wee drink but to stop at that.

Nevyn

enda1 wrote: »

It is legal to allow your child drink in your home.

Yes, as along as they do not become intoxicated.

Burial

I know me and my friends got bored quickly of drink. I'm 19 and I rarely drink anymore. In fact most of my friends stopped drinking in any way regurlary since we turned 18. The thrill of drinking underage was great, (and drinking without the parents knowing) when I started (15), but more and more, I got in places without getting id'd. In fact by the time I was 16/17ish, I was a "regular", in that they just let me through into these places, because I went in every weekend.

So honestly, I have no idea what I'd do. I'd judge myself. If I thought the child was going to be a responsible drinker, then yes I'd let them drink. However, if I think the child will just hang out with heavy drinkers, then no. I wouldn't let the child drink.

stovelid

Think it depends on the child too.

If he wanted to, I think I will let my son have an occasional drink or two in his parent's company when he reaches 16, yeah.

Dizzyblonde

We let our daughters drink from around 15 or 16 and it worked very well. It demystified alcohol and meant that the didn't sneak off into a field to drink or go totally mad drinking when they turned 18. They're in their 20s now and have a healthy respect for alcohol.
Among their friends, the ones who used to binge drink the most are the ones who were strictly banned from drinking until they were 18.

January

My parents let me and my younger sister drink in their company, when they were drinking which was very very rarely. Mostly on special occasions. We don't drink much now and when we do we know when to stop.

My cousin who is turning 17 was forbidden to drink untill she turned 18, the result?? Heavy drinking with her friends in fields.

Quality

My parents always allowed us have a glass of wine with dinner as children.. from quite a young age too, I remember making my confirmation, taking the pledge and breaking it that night because I had a glass of wine with my dinner.



i dont see a problem with my child having a few drinks at 16 with me in the pub, whether it is legal or not. However, I have a funny feeling my husband wont feel the same as me..

It will also depend very much on the child.

Fighting Irish

Best thing i've heard is to offer your kids €1000 or whatever if they don't drink or smoke before they're 18

noby

Why? That's just creating more of a stigma around it.
My eldest still has a long way to go to 16, but even now if they're curious I offer them a smell or a sup. By the time they're 16 I hope we will be as open as a lot of other people on this thread.

Davidth88

Best thing i've heard is to offer your kids €1000 or whatever if they don't drink or smoke before they're 18

Why ?

We always had quite a relaxed attitude to drink in our house , we were given wine with Sunday lunch from the age of about 12-13 , and allowed a beer before Sunday lunch from the age of about 15. ( yes sunday lunch was a big thing in our house ).

However in a pub is different , don't know why......maybe because it's not legal ?

mikewest

The most balanced and least drunkenly wild teenagers I have known are those few who were allowed to drink at home. This is not to say that they have all been angels especially where cars, motorbikes and girls were concerned but none of them that I can remember ever ended up in trouble because of drink (or strangely drugs either iirc). One particularly wild couple of lads who were big into their bikes long before they could go on the roads, were allowed to have a beer more or less whenever they wanted it i.e. if the football was on telly etc. These pair had a complete lack of interest in the usual thing of trying to get a couple of cans before the youth disco and go in smashed. They considered that childish!!. I remember this very clearly because I had two other young lads working with me at the time who came from the opposite upbringing i.e. no drinking allowed and would have been classed as very quiet teenagers but come the weekend they had only one plan, get smashed.

On the whole, I will let my kids drink at home long before they can in the pub and I will hopefully teach them some modicum of respect for alcohol so that they don't go out and make complete fools of themselves with drink when they are old enough. As long as they learn that alcohol can and should be enjoyed without getting ratarsed then I will be happy.

jtbub15

I was allowed a bottle of beer when I was just going on 15. It was at home with my parents. I think it was a great idea because I didnt see drink as something big, far from it actually. I didnt really think about it. All the mystery of drink was gone and I didnt have the want to go out and sneak any drink....if I wanted a drink I'd have a couple of bottles at home or even in the pub if we were there, (this was rare tough). I;ve seen kids go of the rails on drink because it was "forbidden fruit" for them.

I have been going out since I was 16 to pubs and disco's, mostly with my older sister so now, 6 years on I have no desire to over do it drinking, I dont think I ever went to mad
in the first place. I've seen first hand, friends of mine who were not allowed to do much when they were younger and now they are absolutely crazy!! (in a fun way). They drink the whole weekend, holiday weeks are spent in the pub, cant possibly go out with out drinking, whereas I would be quiet happy to do out to disco, pub whatever and not drink.

Dont get me wrong....I really enjoy myself and I am not in any way a "prude". I go out alot of the times and drink and really..really enjoy the drinks but I dont in any way feel like I wouldnt enjoy myself if I wasnt drinking. I think that has a lot to do with not being told not to drink when I was younger!

lostinnappies

absolutly not. Neither of my children will drink before 18years old. they wont have a social life if they do. I will lock them in if needs be, the most important thing at that age is education. They are too hormonal to know what is best, so many of my friends ended up that way and are now on the dole waisting their lives ... i will not allow my child to do that not so long as i have a legal right to stop them (which i do until they are 18) and i dont care how much they hate me after. However i will trust them to have a social life until they break that trust. This may be harsh but there it is.

Wile E. Coyote

I started drinking with my parents on a Saturday night when I was 16. I used to go out, have a few drinks (never spirits and was always made drink slowly) I used to really love listening to the band that were playing and the craic that was going on around me. At the same time all my friends were sitting in a field in the p*ssing rain and the cold drinking naggans of vodka and whatever other cheap crap they could get their hands on. It gave me something to look forward to a the weekends and meant i wasn't stuck out in a field with them.

It teaches teenagers to understand that you don't have to go out and drink as much as possible in as short a period of time to enjoy themselves. The parent is there to control what they have. It also meant that when the time came that i was legally allowed to drink and could go out on my own I knew how much I could handle. I had more sense than all the people i went out with and I was the one who was regularly looking after them when they drank to much.

And I understand where your coming from lostinnappies, education should be at the top of the agenda but it rarely works that way in most teenagers. In fact out of all the friends that I grew up with I'm the only one who has left home. All my old friends (the same ones who's parents wouldn't allow them to drink) are still living with their parents and are the ones who i see whenever I go home sitting in the same seats in the same pubs and are never going to do anything with their lives.

Sleepy

I'll do it the way my parents did - they'll be allowed drink once they've finished their Junior Cert. But if they come home scuttered, there'll be hell to pay. Taught me to recognise my limits very quickly. I still did the 'drinking in fields thing' but I only ever got completely wasted the once before my 18th...

flynnc8

Yeah i think it is a good thing to allow your child to have the odd drink.. I remember the first time I was allowed. It was on holidays when I was 13.. I was allowed 2 bottles of Bracardi Breezer.. from then on it was christmas, birthdays etc. My mam done the same with my younger sister and brother.

However we all have and my younger siblings still do, drink very heavily in "fields" etc. The benifit of my mam allowing us the odd sip was that as the years progressed we felt more comfortable speaking to our mam about it. We would tell her where we were going and who we were with so that she always knew in case of emergencies.

Where as my friends who where not allowed to drink would say nothing, they wouldn't even answer the phone to their parents to tell them they were ok, because they feared they would notice they wore drunk over the phone..

Funny enough as someone else mentioned.. Out of a group of 15 or so of my friends, 4 of us where allowed drink from around 14/15... There is only 2 of us who have went on to college and make something with our lives. The rest of them don't even have jobs.. and we're all in our early 20's..

So generally I think it is a good thing however small the benefits are..

IceICEbaby

Totally agree....bit of a different perspective but anyway....

Im 18 and had my first proper drinking experience at about 15....it unfortunatly took place with a big group of school friends in 'the park', mostly boys....i downed a lottt of vodka because at first i didnt think it was "working"...
The same night a man in his (approx) mid twenties tried to get my friend to come with him in his car...it was the first time she'd ever had alcohol and if it wasnt for the guys in my class looking out for her dont even want to think what might have happened

Anyyyyway, this all sounds very 'knacker-ish" but believe it or not i went to a private school, good area.....blah
My parents ran a very tight ship so it resulted in me running around behind theyre back pretty regularly...

In my opinion, expose your kid to small amounts of alcohol in supervised, social situations...
That way, its not "kid in a candy shop" type sitution when they finally get their hands on alcohol...
My younger sister is 15 and she asked me about it, so i gave her some vodka and let her feel the buzz...
Sounds bad, but it wasnt much and now she has at least a faint idea of how little it takes to start affecting your judgement/actions

It would be amazing to see a similar attitude to other european countries like France, where alcohol isnt treated as a "forbidden fruit" - its just alcohol...
Here, we're stuck with a general attitude that 'the cool kids drink' and if an adult chooses not to drink, theyre either a recovering alcoholic or just plain weird

Society for ya........

Hotblack Desiato

IceICEbaby wrote: »

In my opinion, expose your kid to small amounts of alcohol in supervised, social situations...
That way, its not "kid in a candy shop" type sitution when they finally get their hands on alcohol...

Good idea.

My younger sister is 15 and she asked me about it, so i gave her some vodka and let her feel the buzz...

Bad idea. You're not her parent, and skulling vodka (however little) is hardly encouraging responsible drinking anyway.

professore

lostinnappies wrote: »

absolutly not. Neither of my children will drink before 18years old. they wont have a social life if they do. I will lock them in if needs be, the most important thing at that age is education. They are too hormonal to know what is best, so many of my friends ended up that way and are now on the dole waisting their lives ... i will not allow my child to do that not so long as i have a legal right to stop them (which i do until they are 18) and i dont care how much they hate me after. However i will trust them to have a social life until they break that trust. This may be harsh but there it is.

They will drink then and not tell you.

marti101

lostinnappies wrote: »

absolutly not. Neither of my children will drink before 18years old. they wont have a social life if they do. I will lock them in if needs be, the most important thing at that age is education. They are too hormonal to know what is best, so many of my friends ended up that way and are now on the dole waisting their lives ... i will not allow my child to do that not so long as i have a legal right to stop them (which i do until they are 18) and i dont care how much they hate me after. However i will trust them to have a social life until they break that trust. This may be harsh but there it is.

This is the thinking that you will control your kids lives but this is the thing they will control it but they will let you thnk you do.

brucer24!

we always had a really positive relaxed view in our house in regards to alcohol, perhaps it was because we are so involved with gaa that we never had time to hang around doing nothing,so my parents never worried what we were getting up to.
but also going into pubs after a match on a sunday from a young age we saw pubs as a meeting place to talk not just to drink..

teaholic

I think its a good idea to allow kids to drink from the age of 16/17 so that they can learn how much alcohol they can handle and to let them drink light beer like miller or corona instead of spirits, a lot better on the poor auld liver.

i had my first drink the christmas after i turned 17 because a neighbour (who had 2 sons in their mid 20's) said it was better for someone to know what they can handle instead of going out and getting absolutly hammered and not knowing when enough was enough. Seemed to convince my mother, im the eldest and that christmas my younger brother by 2 years was allowed to try it too. didnt seem fair but we both now know what we can handle

bored and tired

i was raised very european or french in that i was always allowed a taste of wine the 5 times a year it was going, christmas, valentines, mams bday, dads bday, anniversary,

when i say always, i mean from as far back as i can remember, and i refused to take the pledge at 12 on the basis that i wanted to have my glass of wine at christmas, (which my mam thought was priceless and backed me up., but my dad thought was mortifying and couldnt go to mass for about a month - rural ireland the whole place was talkin about the little rebel he had raised)

i was also allowed a glass of heineken from the age of 13 with my dad, the result was that i was NEVER drinking in a field or ditch with friends, if i wanted a glass id just ask, i didnt see a reason to steal drink from the parents and sit in a field freezing my ass off, when i could be in the corner of the pub with a band playing with my parents or at home in the sitting room watching tv.

Now smoking was a different kettle of fish, my god if i heard it once i heard it a thousand times, if you start smoking ill bloody kill ya, so what did i do, i started smoking in 1st year, now im not saying leave your 13year old smoke, im saying that i dont think i would have started or started as young if it hadnt been made taboo in our house, because everytime i heard ill bloody kill ya, i translated it to mean that smoking is great crack alltogether,

And as for 16, have half the parents on here forgotten what it was like when we were teenagers, do they think that they have something magic up there sleeves that our parents didnt have or know about, read the papers, go to a teendisco and see the state of them. CHILDREN are getting drunk at 12/13,

so what am i gona do when the time comes, i have 2 choices i can either get an electronic tag, and put bars over all the windows and home school her and lock her up in the attic,

or i can "ignore" smoking alltogether and just smell her clothes when i wash them, and then kill her if she does start,
i can leave her taste alcohol now and in a few years leave her drink a small amount under my beady eye so it isnt forbidden fruit, but it isnt access all areas either,

and i have to have something for her to rebel against otherwise she wouldnt be a teenager, so i will have to decide on either ill bloody kill ya if you colour/ dye/ bleach/ highlight your hair, or ill bloody kill ya if you dont turn down that flaming noise you call music, or i can alternate between the two,
but hopefully in the end ill have a well rounded daughter albiet maybe with blue hair whos into puck rock, who wont start smoking when shes 13, and realises that drink isnt everything in life, and will grow up and be a doctor,:D

Victor

Neither of my parents drank and few of their siblings would be regular drinkers. The first time I saw my father with a drink was the sherry reception after my sister's wedding - I think I was disappointed in him. I didn't start drinking until I was 22-23 and don't drink now. Some of my siblings drink, others don't.

My nieces have been allowed the half glass of champagne at Christmas a teenagers and the occassional beer once they were 16. The eldest of them asked my sister was she allowed drink after midnight - after her 18th birthday party. The second of them turned 18 recently and appears to have little interest in alcohol - that said, seh is a rather balanced child with good self esteem.

I think its all about respect - for the substance and people.