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how to broach the subject of a hairy back....

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2

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    manukahoney wrote: »
    That would make me shallow. I don't give a men a fair chance usually(i've been criticised for this); so it's something I'm trying to work on.

    Its the new leaf i've turned over this year.....

    Doesn't turn so well when there's hairy shoulders involved tho:eek:


    Who critised you for that and who are they going out with?

    Your revulision is natures way of telling you, that you aren't of a dispostion to love and nuture hairy backed offspring.

    About turn.


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    #33
    bangersandmash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 686 ✭✭✭bangersandmash


    manukahoney wrote: »
    That would make me shallow.
    To be honest I think you're a little far gone to worry about that. If you don't find it attractive, that's perfectly understandable. But asking a man who you barely know to change his appearance for you is a little demanding to say the least. If he told you that he'd consider having sex with you, once you've spent a few more weeks in the gym, how would you take it? Men can be sensitive about body issues too.

    Presumably he has dated other women who didn't have a problem with this, so it's possible that he won't take your suggestions too kindly - and then you won't have a problem to worry about at all. As others have said it sounds like you don't like him all that much, so maybe best to move on.


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    #34
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users Posts: 10,407 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    manukahoney wrote: »
    That would make me shallow. I don't give a men a fair chance usually(i've been criticised for this); so it's something I'm trying to work on.

    Its the new leaf i've turned over this year.....

    Doesn't turn so well when there's hairy shoulders involved tho:eek:

    truthfully you are only trying to make this work cause it is a new years resolution and not because you want to.

    you say you keep yourself neat. Did he ask you to do this or do you do it for yourself? cause if you are doing it for yourself then it has no bearing on this topic


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    #35
    Phlann
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Your revulision is natures way of telling you, that you aren't of a dispostion to love and nuture hairy backed offspring.

    Evil! :pac:

    I say give the ape-man a chance. You could always 'accidentally' tear the hair out in the throes of passion.


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    #36
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users Posts: 10,407 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    Phlann wrote: »
    I say give the ape-man a chance. You could always 'accidentally' tear the hair out in the throes of passion.

    As a hairy man myself all I can say is that if you try this you better be in your own bed as otherwise you'll find your ass on the floor a lot quick then you ever thought possible ;):D:D


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    #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    jsb wrote: »
    As a hairy man myself all I can say is that if you try this you better be in your own bed as otherwise you'll find your ass on the floor a lot quick then you ever thought possible ;):D:D

    Oh please who do you think you are you kidding! :D


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    #38
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    manukahoney wrote: »

    And i'd never get a boob job done for a man, i'd only ever have surgery like that for myself, and realistically its not something i would see myself doing unless i had to.

    Maybe he won't change anything about his body for you?

    If the issue had medical implications, like being overweight, I could handle being asked to change but if a woman said to me: wax your chest and I'll find you more attractive, I'd be out of there.

    I honestly think that asking somebody to change their appearance has long-term implications. Does he start thinking: sh*t, I have to get waxed this week or she'll start finding me repulsive?

    If your revulsion about his hairiness is that strong (and that's completely OK and your business) why not just move on and find somebody that's more attractive to you?

    Finding something physically unattractive in someone is not shallow, it's natural.


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    #39
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    bangersandmash wrote: »
    To be honest I think you're a little far gone to worry about that. If you don't find it attractive, that's perfectly understandable. But asking a man who you barely know to change his appearance for you is a little demanding to say the least. If he told you that he'd consider having sex with you, once you've spent a few more weeks in the gym, how would you take it? Men can be sensitive about body issues too.

    Presumably he has dated other women who didn't have a problem with this, so it's possible that he won't take your suggestions too kindly - and then you won't have a problem to worry about at all. As others have said it sounds like you don't like him all that much, so maybe best to move on.

    Read my posts!!! I have said that I dont exactly feel comfortable telling the guy to get rid of the fuzz or else. I DONT feel I have the right to!!

    And yes I do keep myself neat. Which doesnt have any bearing on things fair enough, but if I do go to bed with this guy his hairiness will be all the more obvious as I'm pretty much hair free!!

    He is a nice guy. and I have written guys off too easily in the past, often for stupid reasons, and i can think of at least one time when i was too rash too quickly and lived to regret it, but by the time i realised i had made a mistake the guy in question had moved on.

    I feel shallow for hating this guys hairiness, i mean its completely natural and hes a very decent bloke who has been nothing but nice and kind to me.

    Yet I am so repulsed by excessive hairiness that i cant cope it. Part of me thinks its so stupid to knock this guy just cos hes hairy,even tho the thought of being near it makes me want to hurl....:confused:

    Methinks he gots to go...... of course I wont tell him the real reason why tho, that'd be just cruel.


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    #40
    Karen_*
    Registered Users Posts: 1,610 ✭✭✭Karen_*


    Just get rid of him. Its obviously my ex and he's a total creep and not a nice guy!:D:p


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    #41
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    If someone has a physical issue that you cannot get around there is nothing wrong with nothing things on the head with them.

    We all do it all the time.


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    #42
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    Karen_* wrote: »
    Just get rid of him. Its obviously my ex and he's a total creep and not a nice guy!:D:p

    LOL:D

    Was he from Co.Galway???;)


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    #43
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    manukahoney wrote: »
    Methinks he gots to go...... of course I wont tell him the real reason why tho, that'd be just cruel.

    Think of the kinky times you could have with Velcro wallpaper though?


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    #44
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    My OH found this thread last night and I could see on his face that all the horrible comments about hairy men were hurting him. He is self conscious of his hair but not the type to wax, a big 6' 4" hairy gaa man. I adore him as he is, and the hair was never as issue, though he was the very first hairy guy I was ever with. Truthfully, yes you are shallow, but so are we all. I hate bad teeth, can't see past them, so I never dated guys with them, if this is what turns you off, move on. Truthfully this lovely guy deserves better. How'd you feel if you found him posting here about a really nice girl, but she has blonde hair and he finds it a turn off, he prefers brunette. Yep you'd be livid. :D Move on for his sake as much as your own.


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    #45
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    barbiegirl wrote: »
    My OH found this thread last night and I could see on his face that all the horrible comments about hairy men were hurting him. He is self conscious of his hair but not the type to wax, a big 6' 4" hairy gaa man. I adore him as he is, and the hair was never as issue, though he was the very first hairy guy I was ever with. Truthfully, yes you are shallow, but so are we all. I hate bad teeth, can't see past them, so I never dated guys with them, if this is what turns you off, move on. Truthfully this lovely guy deserves better. How'd you feel if you found him posting here about a really nice girl, but she has blonde hair and he finds it a turn off, he prefers brunette. Yep you'd be livid. :D Move on for his sake as much as your own.

    ***smack on my wrist***

    Is that a dig at me being blonde?? I'm back to my own dark hair now as it happens, AND he told me that he prefers it.

    I didnt mean to offend your OH. I am not at the stage with this man that I can see past the hairiness, and my aversion to hairy shoulders and back sounds akin to your aversion to bad teeth.

    We're going to dinner Friday night. this will give us an opportunity to get to know each other by ourselves, without distractions from friends etc.

    I suppose its sort of a test, a chance to have a real chat with him, and establish if I really can(or want to) get beyond the Hairy issue and actually make a go of it, or if my shallowness will once again get the better of me.

    Wish me luck;)


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    #46
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Nope no problem with blondes. Barbie girl is blonde :D


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    #47
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    As a hairy-backed man, I reckon humour is the way to go.

    Tease him about it, and he'll get the message.


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    #48
    Signpost
    Registered Users Posts: 757 ✭✭✭Signpost


    I got my back waxed last night ha. ironic seeing this today! It doesnt really hurt that much tbh. Was with the gf yrs before she told me and i felt so guilty when she did say it I just hopped up on bed and let her wax away. nicer for gym etc anyways with sweat.
    All in all tell him get it done twice and wont look back... excuse the pun


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    #49
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    So tonights the night I encounter the hairy one again.

    Have been freaking out all day.

    Don't think I can see beyond it, and don't think tonight is going to go well....

    Wish me luck:rolleyes:


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    #50
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    manukahoney wrote: »
    So tonights the night I encounter the hairy one again.
    Have been freaking out all day.

    This is starting to read like the diary of an overreacting teenager now.

    He's got a hairy back - not a disease or disfigurement.


    Just ask the guy to wax or dump him, ffs.


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    #51
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Pull the plug. Its way too early for this sort of reaction.

    If you're not into him, you're not into him. Just because he's nice etc doesn't mean that you HAVE to fancy him.


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    #52
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    stovelid wrote: »
    This is starting to read like the diary of an overreacting teenager now.

    He's got a hairy back - not a disease or disfigurement.


    Just ask the guy to wax or dump him, ffs.


    Jaysus, relax would ya. Its an expression. I mean I haven't ACTUALLY been obsessing about it all day.... at the same time its been at the back of my mind.....

    him texting to know was he getting into my bed tonight didnt help either.... I know its not a disease or a disfigurement, but that still doesn't mean i like it; in fact i HATE it **shudder**

    He was sending cheeky texts earlier and all i could think about was his jumpernessness!!

    I can't tell him to wax, i dont know him well enough, and I don't think I can cope with it.

    I'll have a few drinks tonight and see can i over come my hairy inhibition, but from the outset, it looks like he'll have to go.

    It's gonna be a fun evening:eek:


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    #53
    Eviledna
    Registered Users Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭Eviledna


    Sounds to me that this hair issue has more to it than just a dislike. You mention a really disturbing encounter when you were 19, we can only draw conclusions from that...
    Maybe you should have a think about what kind of person this hair aversion makes you, how it affects your happiness, and if you find that this is affecting your life so drastically, you could try working on it by chatting to someone professional?


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    #54
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    mayeb she scored thats why she has not answered.... hairy back man love ftw!


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    #55
    Phlann
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    I knew she was secretly into it.

    She was protesting just a bit too much.


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    #56
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    eviledna wrote: »
    Sounds to me that this hair issue has more to it than just a dislike. You mention a really disturbing encounter when you were 19, we can only draw conclusions from that...
    Maybe you should have a think about what kind of person this hair aversion makes you, how it affects your happiness, and if you find that this is affecting your life so drastically, you could try working on it by chatting to someone professional?

    Sorry, have been having laptop issues all weekend.

    I wouldn't say my hairy aversion affects my life, so i think talking to somebody about it would be a bit drastic really. The encounter when i was nineteen was disturbing in the sense that it was my first time seeing a hairy back and shoulders and it freaked the bejaysus out of me, and i've never gottn over that disgusting image *shudder*

    As for the kind of person this hairy aversion makes me i dont think it actaully affects me as a person, except perhaps highlighting that i can be shallow, but i think everybody has silly pethates which they act upon and we all have a shallow side.

    I suppose the only time it might affect my life is if/when i meet the elucid man of my dreams and he happens to have this hairy problem..... in which case i could probably get over it as everything else would feel so right.

    As for the hairy man of the minute, we went out friday night, he was stayimg in mine, we had already agreed that as he lives an hour from town.

    Anyway, the night was fine, we got on well, no major fireworks but it was a nice evening. He was hinting the direction he would like the evening to takebut when we got home i put him in the spare room as i couldnt face sleeping with him and had very early start anyway.

    We were supposed to go out again tonight but i rain checked it, as agin i knew he would try to get me into bed.

    So we're to meet up next weekend, but i think in the mean time i will contact him and put an end to it, as its unfair to lead him on, and hairy or not i actually dont think im that into him.

    Anyway, thanks for listening/reading...

    MH


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    #57
    Phlann
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    Bo-ring.

    I was hoping for some story involving you coughing up a fur-ball this morning.


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    #58
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    Good call on ending it...dont thin kits gonna go anywhere..you wont get over the repulsiveness (that you see) of it...not fair to the poor guy.

    Plenty more (non hairy) fishes ;)


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    #59
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    way i see it.. if you dont like it, tell him..


    I was in a relationship with a girl that had a little bit of hair on the bottomm of her back, i never said anything to her about it.

    Love is blind.


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    #60
    RentDayBlues
    Registered Users Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭RentDayBlues


    Depends on how much you like this guy, he may not like you saying it


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    #61
    Signpost
    Registered Users Posts: 757 ✭✭✭Signpost


    snyper wrote: »
    Love is blind.

    If this is true... Why is lingerie so popular?

    Couldn't resist it old and all as it is...


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