Quickies

rocky25 · 06-08-2008 9:20am #1

A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He
inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute.

He was told togo to 225 West 42nd St.

By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist.

Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him.

She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.

He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really
getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house
offered.

Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and
found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.

"My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."

"Well," he said,

"if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take
my business elsewhere."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was excited about his first day at school.

So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class
started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to
the bathroom.

So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.

Of course the teacher said yes, but asked him to be quick.

Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate
and embarrassed.

"I can't find it", he admitted.

The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram
to where he should go and asked him if he will be able
to find it now.

The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says
to the teacher

"I can't find it".

Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at
the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.

So two fellas go together and five minutes later they
both return and sit down at their seats.

The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?"

Jon is quick with his reply:

"Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.

For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.

Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy,
when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.

The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle.

"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.

"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.

"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.

"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says,

"Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband,

he thinks he's a refrigerator!"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies.

"Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass."

"But you don't understand," the woman insists.

"He sleepswith his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband.

"I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."

"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."

"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."

He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"

"In the postscript," she answered. ...........

"It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"