Wasps: You're Next!

FunkZ

The fcuking pricks are back at long last, haven't seen one for over a year then yesterday I'm there lying on my bed and one lands on my desk. In one move I leaned up managed to grab a book and SMASH! I got the bollocks on the bollocks. I was lucky, it could have killed/tickled me ;] Then again today I was lying on my bed checking out Boards and what do ya have? A wasp flys in and lands, very Nam style, beside the crushed dead wasp. I got a bit freaked out and got out of there as quickly as possible. But I had to leave my big massive bowl of Wheetos behind.

I'm going to arm myself with a few wasp sprays, and then that fcuker that's trapped in my room will get it, in the face.

They're back, and they're coming for YOU!

dr.bollocko

FunkZ wrote: »

that fcuker that's trapped in my room will get it, in the face.

:mad:
You didn't even start a Jigsaw thread before capturing him.

Mossy Monk

Wasps are mans best friend.

Steve_o

TO ARMS, TO ARMS......

*Air raid warning goes off*

javaboy

Steve_o wrote: »

TO ARMS, TO ARMS......

*Air raid warning goes off*

That raid is great stuff altogether.

Captain Darling

dr.bollocko wrote: »

:mad:
You didn't even start a Jigsaw thread before capturing him.

He has a basement full of white ango saxon protestants. Whacks the sh1t out of them all night long, so he does.

dr.bollocko

Captain Darling wrote: »

He has a basement full of white ango saxon protestants. Whacks the sh1t out of them all night long, so he does.

Oh.
I thought he meant these guys.

dee8839

Normally I love all God's creatures, but seriously, someone was a teeny bit moody the day he invented those little b*stards! I mean, WTF? I watched one drown in my (untouched, grrr) orange juice for about half an hour on Friday. It was wrong. But so right...

Magpie!

You left the dead squished on there since yesterday?? Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

greatgoal

yeah im allergic to those little kilkenny coloured b*stards,i swell up like a balloon when they sting me and have to get an injection to take the swelling down,costs a f*ckin fortune on doctors bills too. dont know which sting is the worse really..the wasps or the doctors.

FunkZ

Magpie! wrote: »

You left the dead squished on there since yesterday?? Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Aye but like I'm lazy and drunk.

Ross_Mahon

Man i hate bugs, I'm in the attic and they are constantly coming in the windows, Kill em...Kill them all!

Join the Mobile Infantry and save the world. Service guarantees citizenship.

Would you like to know more?

(Do not watch 'Starship Troopers 3: Marauder')

Saruman

Whats the big deal? sure they are annoying if you are at a picnic but just leave some food aside for them and let them have at it.

When i was an extra on King Arthur they were everywhere... rather than swipe at them and make them angry i would put icecream or something on my finger and let them land and eat it. Started with just one called fluffy and i named them fluffy1, fluffy2 and so on. Fun times.

Be thankful it was not a Giant Hornet

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_hornet

FunkZ

Steve_o wrote: »

TO ARMS, TO ARMS......

*Air raid warning goes off*

So so far we have an army of two... against all the worlds wasps! We'll win. :cool:

Dyr

greatgoal wrote: »

those little kilkenny coloured b*stards

Best description of a wasp EVAR

FunkZ

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

Man i hate bugs, I'm in the attic and they are constantly coming in the windows, Kill em...Kill them all!

Join the Mobile Infantry and save the world. Service guarantees citizenship.

Man I'm in the attic as well, I haven't seen them in any other part of the house, it must be the added insulation! And the big windows :eek:

Homer

FunkZ wrote: »

I'm there lying on my bed and one lands on my desk. In one move I leaned up managed to grab a book and SMASH!

Your bed is beside your desk? Man you must work some long hours?! Up for promotion are we

javaboy

Homer wrote: »

Your bed is beside your desk? Man you must work some long hours?! Up for promotion are we

Porn on internet.
Internet on computer.
Computer on desk.
Desk beside bed.

You figure it out.

Ross_Mahon

FunkZ wrote: »

Man I'm in the attic as well, I haven't seen them in any other part of the house, it must be the added insulation! And the big windows :eek:

It gets very warm up in the attic, so i have to have the windows open all the time.

The other night i was in bed turning on my phone and three moths appear on the screen because of their attraction to light, I nearly crapped myself!

FunkZ

Homer wrote: »

Your bed is beside your desk? Man you must work some long hours?! Up for promotion are we

=]

javaboy wrote: »

Porn on internet.
Internet on computer.
Computer on desk.
Desk beside bed.

You figure it out.

Actually.

Pornternet.
Bed beside door.
Desk moved to block door incase of intrusion.
Pornternet.

Close though, close.

junior_apollo

greatgoal wrote: »

those little kilkenny coloured b*stards

So now the truth comes out... your racist towards african pigmy leinster people who's parents weren't married!... For shame!:D

dr.bollocko

There's porn on the internet now too?!

FunkZ

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

It gets very warm up in the attic, so i have to have the windows open all the time.

The other night i was in bed turning on my phone and three moths appear on the screen because of their attraction to light, I nearly crapped myself!

Yeah man, I don't even turn the radiator on, ever. And I have a fan and about two litres of water up there at almost all times!

Haha the moths are a bollocks when ya have your laptop in the darka nd you're trying to watch a film. :pac:

FunkZ

dr.bollocko wrote: »

There's porn on the internet now too?!

Yeah but there's not enough, I reckon I've already seen 4% of it. :mad:

javaboy

FunkZ wrote: »

Haha the moths are a bollocks when ya have your laptop in the darka nd you're trying to watch a film. :pac:

A film huh?

Homer

FunkZ wrote: »

Haha the moths are a bollocks when ya have your laptop in the dark and you're trying to watch a film. porn on your own :pac:

Fixed that for ya

FunkZ

javaboy wrote: »

A film huh?

I'd be deliigfhted with that wink if you were javagirl!

Homer wrote: »

Fixed that for ya

Lemme alone!!! :P

Hal1

Moths like to fwap aswell. Nah ants are the buggers now :pac:

FunkZ

Hal1 wrote: »

Moths like to fwap aswell. Nah ants are the buggers now :pac:

Ya don't happen to rap do ya Hal?

javaboy

Homer wrote: »

Fixed that for ya

Mine was more subtle and therefore better.

FunkZ wrote: »

I'd be deliigfhted with that wink if you were javagirl!

I can be anything you want me to be sugah. /bats eyelids

...eh... I mean. I need an adult. My bum's a one way street. Football. Hot chicks. etc.

FunkZ

javaboy wrote: »

I can be anything you want me to be sugah. /bats eyelids

...eh... I mean. I need an adult. My bum's a one way street. Football. Hot chicks. etc.

Babaaay pleaseee!

Holsten

Hahah one in my room this morning first time in weeks.

I got two cans of RAID though, I'm sorted.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Had a crazy amount of wasps last year, but my cigarette lighter and cd cases are at the ready.
squashy burny

R0ot

Jar of water, lump of jam at the bottom of jar = lots of dead wasps.

truecrippler

Ok if I saw one of these fcukers in my house I think I'd just end my life on the spot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPiK_071rmg

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Frisbee

I fcuking hate wasps!
One stung me on the lip when I was smaller.
Stupid wasps...

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

greatgoal

junior_apollo wrote: »

So now the truth comes out... your racist towards african pigmy leinster people who's parents weren't married!... For shame!:D

but i am african,from leinster,granted im taller than all pigmies and my parents are married...goddammit yes im racist..lol

FunkZ

I was in my room about half an hour ago, about to get in the shower and in the nip.

When!!! A fcuking wasp lands beside me, so I went over to my guitar halfstack amp, plugged in my phone and blared Common People by Blur.

That wasp won't be coming back =]

BroomBurner

I hate wasps, they are evil little killing machines that can fly.

My first time driving, thought a wasp was in the car so started flailing about wildly, completely forgot to control the car. No driving allowed for a little while after that

Cool_CM

FunkZ wrote: »

Common People by Blur.

That wasp won't be coming back =]

If I was that wasp I would have stuck around for the duration of the song! (Tis by Pulp though, not Blur).
German wasps are fückin huge, was in my room chatting on skype at about 2 in the morning one night, window was open cos it was roasting, next thing i feel something on my back, swatted it away and look down...... HUGE FUPIN' WASP!!! Everybody else in the house was asleep as I let out the loudest "Fücking Hell" of my life. I eventually trapped it in a Burger King cup and dealt with it later. As time went on I tried lots of different methods for the final solution to the wasp problem.
Best way to keep them away from you is to leave a small bit of something like Fanta Orange in a cup or open container by the open window, or somewhere in the room far away from you. The wasps will find this attractive and go investigate.
Now the following options are open to you:
1. Scissors (My personal favourite):cool:
2. Pellet gun from point blank range (doesn't always work and can get messy)
3. Good old can of Lynx and a lighter

Sorted

Beware of Backup

Riddle101

I don't see the big deal with wasps, they never go near me. Also there's nothing to be afraid of that a rolled up newspaper won't handle

junior_apollo

Riddle101 wrote: »

I don't see the big deal with wasps, they never go near me. Also there's nothing to be afraid of that a rolled up newspaper won't handle

Did you not see the link to the Giant Hornet's?.. those feckers would easily disarm you, throw you to the ground and give you a good thrashing with the paper themselves... *from personal experience*



*
On second thoughts that might just have been the missus trying to get the remote back when I turned off Corny St.
-None the less.. give them what they want and pray for forgiveness...

padi89

HATE the fvckers, just got stung ten mins ago.:mad:

rgiller

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Had a crazy amount of wasps last year, but my cigarette lighter and cd cases are at the ready.
squashy burny

How does that work then? They're not going to sit still while you set fire to their nads with the lighter. Do you use a lynx can with that lighter or do you just like destroying the evidence after you squash them?

I have a phobia of the little sh1ts ever since I got stung on my face by two giant hornets in South Africa while playing hide and seek when I was 4. If one flies around me now I run around, waving my hands like a gobsh1te until it's gone

javaboy

rgiller wrote: »

I have a phobia of the little sh1ts ever since I got stung on my face by two giant hornets in South Africa while playing hide and seek when I was 4.

I hope you didn't scream like a girl and give yourself away?

DonkeyStyle \o/

rgiller wrote: »

How does that work then? They're not going to sit still while you set fire to their nads with the lighter. Do you use a lynx can with that lighter or do you just like destroying the evidence after you squash them?

They do settle eventually, but not always on something you can squash them against. (for example the lip of a mug) the lighter takes advantage of this... a quick blast to stun them and make them fall off, onto something more flat and solid where they can be squashed with mister cd case.
I've used the lighter maybe twice... but it's a definite addition to my wasp-hunting tool belt. (*considers actually assembling such a tool belt*)
If they don't hang around long enough for that to happen, and they piss off back out the same window they came in, then we're cool.
It's the crazy dying ones towards the end of August/September I find stick around the longest and settle on things... bumping into lamps and falling all over the place like they're just home from the pub.

rgiller

javaboy wrote: »

I hope you didn't scream like a girl and give yourself away?

I'm not the fukcing son of Rambow: I'm pretty sure I did scream like a little girl. Not that I can remember, that was over 20 years ago and all of my memories of that trip were wiped out by the horrible life-changing experience of getting stung by those black and amber bastards. Up the rebels this weekend. Revenge!

Indie18

i hate them little f***ers too but i heard some were that if you kill them that some how attracts more so your better off getting rid after you do them in.

FunkZ

Hmmm there's a crushed one beside me now, malfcukas.

One of the Kilkenny supporting, flying Limerickonians woke me up today. We didn't brawl though.