I'm upset after a driving lesson.

sunnyside

I'm just learning to drive, can stop and start, change gears ok but still do it wrong sometimes. The usual learner situation.

Today was my 3rd lesson with an instructor, my 2nd lesson with this instructor. One of the lessons I did with someone else.

The guy has managed to upset me and I think he's slowing my progress down.


On the first lesson he asked "why doesn't a good looking girl like you have a boyfriend?" Now I thought this was way out of order and it made me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I really wanted to cancel the next lesson but I didn't because it's been kind of difficult to even get the appointments.


Today when I made a friendly comment about how this job must be really boring sometimes he replied "It's ok when I'm giving lessons to a good looking girl like you" He also commented on my tan.

Now I'm not overly sensitive but this really is out of order. If he was closer to my age and chatty in general I'm sure I'd be more than happy to discuss my relationship status with him but he made me uncomfortable.


As well as this I feel he's putting no effort into my lessons, today we drove around a housing estate in circles for 15 minutes less than the hour I paid for. There was no traffic and I did very little gear changing. I feel he's slowing me down by getting me to do far less than I'm able for. The other guy made a real effort to help me improve and was really professional and encouraging so I'm definitely doing more lessons with him.


But back to today's guy, he knows I'm working as opposed to a younger person who's parents might be paying and he appears to be seeing me as easy money. The less he lets me learn the more money he thinks he'll get from me. Today he tried to book me more lessons but I made an excuse about not knowing when I could do them.

I'm almost 30, have got to driving a bit later than most people posting here. He appears to be in his mid 50's. As well as being annoyed for myself I hope he's not doing the same to 17 year old girls who he probably meets more of than older people like me who can look out for themselves.

As far as I know this guy is RSA approved and I think the other guy who was brilliant isn't.

Not looking for advice, I know what to do- I'm going to cancel the final booking I have with him and get my lessons from someone else. I'm really annoyed that I've given him €80 and have learned nothing helpful. In fact I feel I was doing better before I got in his car because he's knocked my confidence a bit.

I don't have a car to practice in any more so I need a lot of lessons, I plan on getting my own car in September.

I've read advice in this forum from people saying that 10-20 professional lessons would get you to test standard or almost anyway and that was my plan. I want to do 4 lessons a week but having to cancel lessons and re-book more is slowing my plan way down. There are waiting lists for appointments and there's a chance I could get someone else equally useless.

Any similar stories or general encouragement appreciated.:)

Fighting Irish

Tell him you hate getting driving lessons, and if he asks why, tell him you don't like "ugly SNIP driving instructers "

If he was the tester i'd say some completely different

Caychadh

I booked a course of ten with a Dublin driving school. My instructor was a nice guy, but I just didn't gel with him. So I got a second lesson with someone else, but he doesn't know my area too well so I asked for someone else the third time who I liked a lot. However, when I booked my fourth they said 'he's on holidays, do you want to pospone a week?' I said 'no, sure just give me anyone'. Bamn! Fourth lesson and I got instructor who ticks all the boxes.. nice bloke, friendly but not intrusively so, knows his stuff, my test route etc. I'm now really happy and just finishing the course. The first three lessons weren't wasted as it's a reputable school and they seem to have good instructors, all RSA approved. It took me a while to get the perfect instructor but once I did I made grand progress and really enjoy my lessons.
Not being stuck with the one teacher is a great benefit of a driving school. Find the one you like, then keep them! Perseverence is the key!

You don't have to take this crap from an instructor. Go back to your old one, find a female teacher or change to a different school. You shouldn't have to spend money on lessons you don't enjoy and aren't making any progress with.

Nickibaby*

Don't let him knock your confidence, he sounds like a complete twat.

Still going around a housing estate after 3 lessons :eek:

I was lucky enough to get an excellent instructor first time, keep changing until you find one you like that gives you confidence. Your paying them at the end of the day and it's up to you if you want to continue taking lessons with them.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

sunnyside

Caychadh wrote: »

It took me a while to get the perfect instructor but once I did I made grand progress and really enjoy my lessons.
Not being stuck with the one teacher is a great benefit of a driving school. Find the one you like, then keep them! Perseverence is the key!

You don't have to take this crap from an instructor. Go back to your old one, find a female teacher or change to a different school. You shouldn't have to spend money on lessons you don't enjoy and aren't making any progress with.

Thanks for your replies. This is exactly what I want to hear.

I'm not in Dublin and could find only 1 female instructor in my area. I rang her, she asked what level I was at and I said I'd had a few lessons with someone else. Then she didn't want to know, told me it was best to do all my lessons with the one person and wouldn't give me any lessons. I'd have expected her to take the booking anyway, don't these people need the work?

Actually everyone apart from you guys wants me to do all my lessons with the same person.

I have another lesson booked with the nice and really good instructor for next week but I'm so desperate to make progress I'm really annoyed at having to cancel the other lesson this week.

I'd almost do it anyway for the practice but I just know it would knock my confidence even more. By the end of the lesson in the housing estate today I felt miserable. I just wanted to get out of the car and away from him. Then he gave out to me for not looking around enough when turning right, in an area where I hadn't met more than 3 moving cars in the entire lesson.

I'm still really annoyed, I need to be doing lessons in the sort of area where people actually drive.

Caychadh

sunnyside wrote: »

booked with the nice and really good instructor for next week but I'm so desperate to make progress I'm really annoyed at having to cancel the other lesson this week.

Don't be annoyed. You tried an instructor that's a bit of a prat, now you are going back to the good one who will hopefully build your confidence and get you driving! Don't be miffed at missing out on a lesson this week. You say you want to make progress but you don't make progress with this other instructor anyway. Don't waste any more money on him! Start next week in a better frame of mind and you'll do fine!

sunnyside

Thank you. I know it's not worth being upset about, I just needed someone else to tell me that. Will have to forget about it and wake up tomorrow in a better frame of mind.

Hope you're making good progress:)

Wishbone Ash

We've had a few similar threads over the past couple of years. I'm wondering if it's the same instructor!

sunnyside - sorry for your hassle.

Is he working independently or is he with a 'school'?

You should consider reporting him (either to his employer or the RSA). It's totally unacceptable and, as as you say, if he tries this with a 30 year old, what about vulnerable 17 year olds.

Good luck with your lessons.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Ah-Watch

what area are u looking for lessons in? are maybe it might be easier just say what county, people could give you an idea who may suit you, and you could take it from there

sunnyside

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

We've had a few similar threads over the past couple of years. I'm wondering if it's the same instructor!

sunnyside - sorry for your hassle.

Is he working independently or is he with a 'school'?

You should consider reporting him (either to his employer or the RSA). It's totally unacceptable and, as as you say, if he tries this with a 30 year old, what about vulnerable 17 year olds.

Good luck with your lessons.

Thank you:) He works independently in Cork city.

donegalfella wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

It's Cork city so not a small town but I'd say a lot of the instructors do know each other. When you call them they seem obsessed with finding out who else was giving you lessons. They seem to take it very personally whereas the learners ringing up mostly don't know one of these people from the next so it's not personal at all. Have learned that it's easier to lie.

I don't doubt that most of them are professional, as I said the other guy was great and I have another lesson with him next week. I'm just cranky tonight because I paid for the service and all I got was the hassel of dealing with the person providing the service.:mad:

Feel free to recommend people to me or pm because I expect it's not ok to post personal details here.

And a nosey question:pAre some of the people who post here or the Mods driving instructors? Just asking because there's loads of excellent advice in the older threads I was reading.

Thanks for your support guys:)

Tan Princess

That's disgraceful poor you. You should report him to whoever monitors driving instructors as he could be worse to someone else. My sister had a sleazy driving instructor who tried to grope her and resulted in her refusing to take lessons for years after it and not learning to drive until her 30s.

munsterlegend

so why doesn't a good looking girl like you not have a b/f? and is the tan real?

surprised an instructor would be so forward in whats supposed to be a profession environment. what age is he?

sunnyside wrote: »

I'm just learning to drive, can stop and start, change gears ok but still do it wrong sometimes. The usual learner situation.

Today was my 3rd lesson with an instructor, my 2nd lesson with this instructor. One of the lessons I did with someone else.

The guy has managed to upset me and I think he's slowing my progress down.


On the first lesson he asked "why doesn't a good looking girl like you have a boyfriend?" Now I thought this was way out of order and it made me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I really wanted to cancel the next lesson but I didn't because it's been kind of difficult to even get the appointments.


Today when I made a friendly comment about how this job must be really boring sometimes he replied "It's ok when I'm giving lessons to a good looking girl like you" He also commented on my tan.

Now I'm not overly sensitive but this really is out of order. If he was closer to my age and chatty in general I'm sure I'd be more than happy to discuss my relationship status with him but he made me uncomfortable.


As well as this I feel he's putting no effort into my lessons, today we drove around a housing estate in circles for 15 minutes less than the hour I paid for. There was no traffic and I did very little gear changing. I feel he's slowing me down by getting me to do far less than I'm able for. The other guy made a real effort to help me improve and was really professional and encouraging so I'm definitely doing more lessons with him.


But back to today's guy, he knows I'm working as opposed to a younger person who's parents might be paying and he appears to be seeing me as easy money. The less he lets me learn the more money he thinks he'll get from me. Today he tried to book me more lessons but I made an excuse about not knowing when I could do them.

I'm almost 30, have got to driving a bit later than most people posting here. He appears to be in his mid 50's. As well as being annoyed for myself I hope he's not doing the same to 17 year old girls who he probably meets more of than older people like me who can look out for themselves.

As far as I know this guy is RSA approved and I think the other guy who was brilliant isn't.

Not looking for advice, I know what to do- I'm going to cancel the final booking I have with him and get my lessons from someone else. I'm really annoyed that I've given him €80 and have learned nothing helpful. In fact I feel I was doing better before I got in his car because he's knocked my confidence a bit.

I don't have a car to practice in any more so I need a lot of lessons, I plan on getting my own car in September.

I've read advice in this forum from people saying that 10-20 professional lessons would get you to test standard or almost anyway and that was my plan. I want to do 4 lessons a week but having to cancel lessons and re-book more is slowing my plan way down. There are waiting lists for appointments and there's a chance I could get someone else equally useless.

Any similar stories or general encouragement appreciated.:)

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

sunnyside

munsterlegend wrote: »

so why doesn't a good looking girl like you not have a b/f? and is the tan real?
what age is he?

:P I'm no supermodel or anything- I used to have a boyfriend, he cheated on me, I dumped him. It's no big secret but I don't want to discuss it with a driving instructor. Even stranger there is no tan that I'm aware of, I don't use fake tan and haven't been on holidays anywhere hot. He's about 55 I'd say.

donegalfella wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I agree it's strange, you'd think it'd be no problem to get lessons in Cork. I called loads of numbers and left messages but very few of them rang back.

I don't specifically need a female instructor , have no issues with men in general, just that one guy.

munsterlegend

he obviously couldn't help himself..User name: sunnyside...and no tan? its hard enough learning without listening to that..ever think of learning outside cork city? i live approx 20 to 30 mins away and could give you the name of a good one.

towel401

ah jeez, doesn't take much to upset a little girl these days. i'm not saying the OP is like this but most of them are oul shlags that get pissed every day, shag everything that moves but as soon as something like this happens or they get a text from someone they don't know then they're all bent out of shape.

last time I was in this forum I saw a thread almost exactly like this one

Wishbone Ash

towel401 wrote: »

ah jeez, doesn't take much to upset a little girl these days. i'm not saying the OP is like this but most of them are oul shlags that get pissed every day, shag everything that moves but as soon as something like this happens or they get a text from someone they don't know then they're all bent out of shape.

last time I was in this forum I saw a thread almost exactly like this one

Take a little break towel401 - you're banned from this Forum.

Wishbone Ash

sunnyside wrote: »

And a nosey question:pAre some of the people who post here or the Mods driving instructors? Just asking because there's loads of excellent advice in the older threads I was reading

I'm not a driving instructor, nor do I have any connection with the RSA/SGS. I just have an interest in the subject over many years. As far as I know Alanstrainor isn't an instructor either, nor does he have any connection with the RSA/SGS either (AFAIK).

There are some driving instructors who post occasionally and some ex-examiners AFAIK. (PS - it can be difficult to know if a poster is an instructor as we do not permit them to 'pimp' their own business in their posts).

wil

OP The key to passing your test quickly and first time is to find a good instructor.
As this guy is obviously anything but a good instructor in every sense of the word, dont waste another moment with him.
Try as many instructors as it takes (within reason) until you find one that is both good and right for you. You will thank yourself for it.

I too am not an instructor or in any way connected with any driving school. I have done a fair bit of driving in almost every condition for quite a while now and I'm still learning. I did have the benefit of an excellent instructor after trying 2 rubbish ones. The difference is immense. I also had the benefit of learning in the UK. (the rubbish ones I tried in Ireland before going there) He got me from 0 to pass in less than 6 weeks without any other access to a car. Years later I still hold him in high regard as I certainly would not consider myself a gifted or natural born driver. Most of my UK friends are technically way better drivers than I, because they started much younger and are naturally adept behind the wheel.

When trying out other instructors, just tell them you are starting, dont tell them about other instructors, that's none of their business. You could in fact use 2 different instructors on alternate days, so what is it to them, you are not entering in to a binding contract for your business. Let them operate according to their own merit and reputation. A good instructor should have your best interests in mind, not whether he is taking away business from a mediocre one.

And learning to drive should in fact be a bit fun

Alanstrainor

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

I'm not a driving instructor, nor do I have any connection with the RSA/SGS. I just have an interest in the subject over many years. As far as I know Alanstrainor isn't an instructor either, nor does he have any connection with the RSA/SGS either (AFAIK).

There are some driving instructors who post occasionally and some ex-examiners AFAIK. (PS - it can be difficult to know if a poster is an instructor as we do not permit them to 'pimp' their own business in their posts).

Yup, i have no connection with RSA or SGS. Just a regular joe who has an interest in the subject.

SeanW

Sunnyside, don't let that numbskull get you down - you've just faced the perennial problem faced by many learner drivers - crap driving instructors. The carry on of this particular individual was beyond uncalled for, to say the least.

Count yourself lucky you didn't do like what I did - I paid €400+ for a bunch of lessons only to have to change driving schools after failing 3 test, the day before the last one, a substitute instructor from that school, while preparing me for the theory part of the test, asked me about the old end-of-posted-speed-limits signs. This was in 2007.

After changing to a better instructor, I found out why I was still stalling the car at junctions and making 'jumpy' transitions on the gears after 6-12 months driving (didn't know that I should ease off the clutch), didn't know how to do the turnabout properly (had been turning the wheel when the car was stopped ) etc.

Passed the next test with only 1 Grade 2 fault.

Moral of the story: when you recognise you're using a bad driving instructor/school, dump them like a hot potato, then forget about it and move on.

For obvious reasons I won't be naming the driving school in question but I do recommend the better instructor from time to time.

the corpo

if you can you should try and block book the instructor you like too?

fasterkitten

sunnyside wrote: »

Today when I made a friendly comment about how this job must be really boring

Well that was pretty rude and condescending.

If you don't want to stand up to him, don't have any more lessons with him. There's no reason why you should feel you have to pay to be made feel uncomfortable.

wil

SeanW wrote: »

Moral of the story: when you recognise you're using a bad driving instructor/school, dump them like a hot potato, then forget about it and move on.
.

Exactly. very good advice.

I'm surprised people are so shocked about the 'good looking girl' comments. I don't think it's all that inappropriate at all. My instructor is always saying stuff like that, I just take it as a joke. He's otherwise an excellent instructor. The other guy I sometimes get is the same. There's a difference between silly comments and feeling your leg! Maybe it's just me but I hardly ever meet any man over 50 who doesn't make comments like that. Happens to me at work, in college and randomly. If it makes you uncomfortable, fair enough, but I think it's a bit of an overreaction. I'd be more worried about him making it too easy for you - I started with an instructor like that and it was so frustrating until I finally changed instructor and realised I could do so much more than driving around housing estates and quiet roads.

Wishbone Ash

[quote=[Deleted User];57128396]I'm surprised people are so shocked about the 'good looking girl' comments. I don't think it's all that inappropriate at all. My instructor is always saying stuff like that, I just take it as a joke. He's otherwise an excellent instructor. The other guy I sometimes get is the same. There's a difference between silly comments and feeling your leg! Maybe it's just me but I hardly ever meet any man over 50 who doesn't make comments like that. Happens to me at work, in college and randomly. If it makes you uncomfortable, fair enough, but I think it's a bit of an overreaction. I'd be more worried about him making it too easy for you - I started with an instructor like that and it was so frustrating until I finally changed instructor and realised I could do so much more than driving around housing estates and quiet roads.[/QUOTE]I presuming that you are a female! What on earth has your 'looks' got to do with Learing to Drive?

If you went to your GP for a breast examination and the GP said "that's a nice pair you have there" (or something similar) wouldn't you consider it to be unprofessional?

It's no different for a Driving Instructor. He should not treat a male learner any differently from a female learner and I find it incredible that you find it acceptable from an older man. If anything, it should be even more unacceptable from an older man.

I work with a lot of young girls and there is not way in the world that I would even contemplate saying anything remotely like that! :eek: :eek:

sunnyside

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

He should not treat a male learner any differently from a female learner and I find it incredible that you find it acceptable from an older man. If anything, it should be even more unacceptable from an older man.

I work with a lot of young girls and there is not way in the world that I would even contemplate saying anything remotely like that! :eek: :eek:

Anna Miniature Varnish I would say you're welcome to my old instructor but I'm still so annoyed with him I wouldn't want anyone else giving him any business. I am surprised you think it's ok, I'm not that sensitive but something about him made me feel uncomfortable. It wasn't the age thing, a few years back I went out went a lovely man who was 20 years older than me but I definitely wouldn't make an exception for someone's inappropiate behaviour because of their age.

And just to update the story, he called me to ask if I wanted to book more lessons. Number was blocked when he called so I had to speak to him. I said no obviously.

meremortal

Thats awful about that instructor - know what you mean - I could handle myself but it could really turn a younger girl off driving. In terms of using different instructors - I had a few lessons with one originally, then moved so did 5 lessons with another one - was really interesting to see the different tips etc they gave me.

Have my test on Friday so have done two pre- tests with two completely different instructors who work on the route where my test is to make sure that its not just one opinion I'm getting, and also so I'm used to someone I dont know testing me. I found with the guy I had for 5 lessons - I felt as though when I made a mistake he'd know it was a once off, or would be accepting or would know how far I had come - its good to go with people who have no idea of your skill or bad habits!!!! Good luck with the test!!

jobucks

Hi Sunyside,

I've just PM'd you with details of the guy I've been getting lessons with lately... Not female but I found him very helpful. Doing my test tomorrow so I'll let you know then just how good he was