I'm upset after a driving lesson.

towel401

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

Take a little break towel401 - you're banned from this Forum.

is that what you do with everyone who doesn't go along with the popular opinion ?

gone are the days when you actually had to sexually harass someone before you got in trouble for it. now oversensitive & paranoid types make a big deal about every little remark and just can't take it as a complement so then they feel the need to go on and discredit the guy and try to get him sacked. What the hell is wrong with people these days? The amount of paranoia surrounding stalkers, paedophiles and dirty old men in general has got way out of hand.

Call someone from a blocked number / different phone - you're a stalker.

Give a younger girl a complement - you're a dirty old pervert.

Walk past a playground too slowly - you're a paedophile.

Posy

I don't think the OP was upset by someone paying her a compliment. I'm sure she'd be grand if a guy her own age was in a bar and said she's lovely looking. The point was the context of the remarks. The instructor is meant to be a professional and shouldn't comment on such things during a driving lesson- it's pretty inappropriate and he should have better discretion. Imagine if a bloke went to a doctor with a problem 'down there' and the older male doctor started saying 'wow, you're so well hung, you should have no problems getting a girlfriend..' It's not appropriate and would be pretty creepy, whereas if a girl said that on the night after your first date you'd probably be quite chuffed.

Alanstrainor

towel401 wrote: »

is that what you do with everyone who doesn't go along with the popular opinion ?

gone are the days when you actually had to sexually harass someone before you got in trouble for it. now oversensitive & paranoid types make a big deal about every little remark and just can't take it as a complement so then they feel the need to go on and discredit the guy and try to get him sacked. What the hell is wrong with people these days? The amount of paranoia surrounding stalkers, paedophiles and dirty old men in general has got way out of hand.

Call someone from a blocked number / different phone - you're a stalker.

Give a younger girl a complement - you're a dirty old pervert.

Walk past a playground too slowly - you're a paedophile.

Your post was both insulting towards the OP and way off topic, you deserved what you got. I'm not too sure what the point of that rant above was?
This is not After Hours, the OP came with a problem, and was getting constructive advise until your post. Your post added nothing to this thread.

towel401

Caderyn wrote: »

I don't think the OP was upset by someone paying her a compliment. I'm sure she'd be grand if a guy her own age was in a bar and said she's lovely looking. The point was the context of the remarks. The instructor is meant to be a professional and shouldn't comment on such things during a driving lesson- it's pretty inappropriate and he should have better discretion. Imagine if a bloke went to a doctor with a problem 'down there' and the older male doctor started saying 'wow, you're so well hung, you should have no problems getting a girlfriend..' It's not appropriate and would be pretty creepy, whereas if a girl said that on the night after your first date you'd probably be quite chuffed.

i wouldn't mind a bit a bit, probably just laugh at it - its not a negative remark so not the slightest bit offensive to me.

i wish people would just relax and stop taking this stuff so seriously the guy probably meant nothing by it. but you said if it's some guy her own age she wouldn't mind, so does that mean if it was someone older she would mind?

the only reason someone older can't say she's lovely is because of all the mass paranoia surrounding dirty old perverts.

Wishbone Ash

towel401 - Permabanned from Learning to Drive.

Kanney

sunnyside wrote: »

"why doesn't a good looking girl like you have a boyfriend?"

To be honest, I didnt read after this, all I came to say is that was extremely out of order.

sunnyside

Kanney wrote: »

To be honest, I didnt read after this, all I came to say is that was extremely out of order.

Thank you for understanding, I know some people here think I'm being oversensitive.


I'm very happy with my new instructor and am moving on to do pre-test lessons next week. Have a test appointment for November. I would love to pass, I only started in August so I might be a bit over-ambitious but at worst I'll fail so it's worth trying.

My main problem at the moment is reversing and parking. I'm moving too quickly when reversing. I have to reverse out of my drive so there's no way of avoiding it. It stresses me out.

This forum is so, so helpful. I want to say thanks again to everyone for posting here. I'm sure it helps lots of lurkers as well as the people like me who post their problems.

Wishbone Ash

sunnyside wrote: »

Have a test appointment for November. I would love to pass, I only started in August

Just checking sunnyside - are you on a 1st Learner Permit? and will you have had it for at least 6 months by November?

sunnyside

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

Just checking sunnyside - are you on a 1st Learner Permit? and will you have had it for at least 6 months by November?

No, 2nd. I did a few lessons on the 1st one in college but didn't have a car and the cost of lessons became prohibitive very quickly so learning to drive got abandoned. Now that I have the car I have to stick with it.

I know about the 6 month rule but thank you for pointing it out:)

Posy

sunnyside wrote: »

My main problem at the moment is reversing and parking. I'm moving too quickly when reversing.

Ugh, I'm the same, I either mount the path (oops) or do such a wide reverse that I end up on the other side of the road (double oops) but keep persevering. And I'm convinced that if I'm called for a test I'll bump the kerb when reversing- my instructor still tells me when to stop because I just can't judge how near or far I am to the kerb. Sigh.
This might sound bad but it's nice to hear other people talk about how difficult they're finding learning to drive on this forum. So many people I know just seemed to have breezed through it. ("I might learn to drive.. I've had three lessons, sure I'll apply for the test.. yay, passed.. just bought a car.. going on a driving holiday in Europe.." in the space of 3 months etc) It's good to know I'm not alone and there's other people who find it a frightening and frustrating experience but one which will gradually get easier and eventually be conquered..
I hope.

sunnyside

Caderyn wrote: »

So many people I know just seemed to have breezed through it. ("I might learn to drive.. I've had three lessons, sure I'll apply for the test.. yay, passed.. just bought a car.. going on a driving holiday in Europe.." in the space of 3 months etc) It's good to know I'm not alone and there's other people who find it a frightening and frustrating experience

I hear and read that everywhere and it's intimidating me. The usual thing seems to be 10 lessons and then apply for and pass a test with no further driving experience.

I started in August, have done 12 lessons and bought the car which is mostly sitting unused in my drive adding to the stress.

I have a test appointment for the start of November which is 3 months on from when I started but my confidence is pretty low at the moment.

I was much more confident when I started than I am now. I suppose I assumed it was going to be easy. If it was difficult there wouldn't be so many cars on the roads.

I can start, stop, change gears really well, do hill starts, left and right turns, I know how to use indicators at roundabouts but I'm bad at reversing and turning and parking. The budget was for 10 lessons (1 and a 1/2 hour lessons) but doing one lesson a week from now until the test nearly brings it to 20 lessons so the cost is adding to the stress.

I hate learning to drive. I also decided yesterday that I would never ever be able to teach someone else to drive, it's way too stressful.

:mad:

valer456

MOD EDIT>

Alanstrainor

valer456 Banned for a week.

nacho libre

Caderyn wrote: »

Ugh, I'm the same, I either mount the path (oops) or do such a wide reverse that I end up on the other side of the road (double oops) but keep persevering. And I'm convinced that if I'm called for a test I'll bump the kerb when reversing- my instructor still tells me when to stop because I just can't judge how near or far I am to the kerb. Sigh.
This might sound bad but it's nice to hear other people talk about how difficult they're finding learning to drive on this forum. So many people I know just seemed to have breezed through it. ("I might learn to drive.. I've had three lessons, sure I'll apply for the test.. yay, passed.. just bought a car.. going on a driving holiday in Europe.." in the space of 3 months etc) It's good to know I'm not alone and there's other people who find it a frightening and frustrating experience but one which will gradually get easier and eventually be conquered..
I hope.

It certainly is:) most of my friends tell me they never need to use the handbrake when driving. I know that's not good driving practice but it shows they have perfected the balance between the clutch and accelerator - something i still haven't mastered after nine months of driving. Which is extremely frustrating as i have driven a fair bit.
As a consequence of all this i dread seeing a line of slow-moving cars in front of me on a hill. You get away with less than perfect footwork on the flat but on hills you are found out which results in the odd cut out for me:(

-dmo7-

Han't read everybopdys thread now but don't go back to him, there are plenty more willing driving instructors around that will help you pass. If he makes you unconfortable don't go back to him, thats being unprofessional on his behalf. My instructor was being unprofessional imo by saying rude things about women and people of other nationalities, so I complained and never went back to him.

Pythia

I just had a very similar incident with a driving school in <SNIP>.

I have had a gigantic amount of lessons already and have a test coming up so I booked two lessons with a different school to see if there's anything someone else missed.

The instructor kept touching my shoulder and called me a 'naughty girl' in a really pervy tone when I forgot to indicate. It really freaked me out. I had asked to do very specific things in the lesson as there are certain areas I'm keen to improve on (the 'normal driving' element of the test, not the 3 manoeuvres, rules of the road or bonnet checks).

He forced me to do all the manoeuvres even though I had specifically said I didn't want to do them. He tried to do the bonnet check with me twice, both times I refused. He then cut the lesson short 10 minutes early, told me I could get a different instructor and slammed the door. During the lesson, he had me drive around the same area again and again, even though I know the route and it's far bigger.

All I wanted was practice on the general driving element like turning normal corners etc because that's what I am weakest on.

When my boyfriend called the school, they claimed 'most people just go along' with the touching. Wtf?

Currently looking for a refund, manager will be in touch on Monday.

bstar

ive also had issues with a popular driving school in <SNIP>. finishes lessons ten mins early everytime, curses when i do something wrong like hit a kerb but doesnt actually correct my technique so i dont do it again:mad::mad::mad:

Susyblue

That instructor is VERY unprofessional! At least when all the instructors have to be approved soon they will be an official body to complain to. You were right to drop him sunnyside, learning to drive is hard enough without adding his sleeziness into the equation aswell!

I'm learning in cork city aswell and also had a useless instructor, almost 400 euro later i finally got a good one!! Its hard to know whether you're being ripped off or not!

Good luck with the test!

coolshark

sunnyside wrote: »

Thank you:) He works independently in Cork city.



It's Cork city so not a small town but I'd say a lot of the instructors do know each other. When you call them they seem obsessed with finding out who else was giving you lessons. They seem to take it very personally whereas the learners ringing up mostly don't know one of these people from the next so it's not personal at all. Have learned that it's easier to lie.

I don't doubt that most of them are professional, as I said the other guy was great and I have another lesson with him next week. I'm just cranky tonight because I paid for the service and all I got was the hassel of dealing with the person providing the service.:mad:

Feel free to recommend people to me or pm because I expect it's not ok to post personal details here.

And a nosey question:pAre some of the people who post here or the Mods driving instructors? Just asking because there's loads of excellent advice in the older threads I was reading.

Thanks for your support guys:)

Hi Sunnyside

I'm a driving instructor and own <SNIP>. I'm 31 myself so am one of the few younger driving instructors in the country plus I'm RSA Approved.

I hear this complaint alot. It is the job of the instructor to make the client feel comfortable and be professional at all times. Ok fair enough, we're all human but there is a line you do not cross and if you do expect the consequences. I'm paid to teach you to drive plus make learning to drive fun and practical. Ok later on in the lessons we can chat away when you get to a standard that you dont need so much supervision and need to be told to change gear etc. Its just a pity you dont live in North Dublin.

Some of the older instructors are a bit let us say "pervy" I heard one girl tell me hers used to comment on her clothes and lean across her for no reason. You could try and report him but like the others say just get someone else. There are plenty of instructors in any major city. Some women only want femaile instructors but I've taught so many men and women to drive so that should not be a major issue. If you are not getting the value for money or you are not developing or progessing then go somewhere else.

It used to be a done thing to just waste time and not teach someone too much too early to get more lessons out of them but those kind of instructors are just chancing their arm. Use your instinct.

Hope this helps.

sunnyside

coolshark wrote: »

I'm a driving instructor and own <SNIP>. I'm 31 myself so am one of the few younger driving instructors in the country plus I'm RSA Approved.


It used to be a done thing to just waste time and not teach someone too much too early to get more lessons out of them but those kind of instructors are just chancing their arm. Use your instinct.

Hope this helps.

Why are there so few young driving instructors? It's a good job, why doesn't it attract younger people. Don't lots of young modified car enthusiasts love driving and cars, it would be a good career for them.

The wasting time thing, I can totally understand the thinking behind it but:mad:

I have a good instructor now, he's male but that's fine because he's friendly and professional. But if female instructors were as plentiful as male I'd have chosen a female.

J_R

Hi,

One thing, how did he know that the OP did not have a boy-friend

sunnyside

J_R wrote: »

Hi,

One thing, how did he know that the OP did not have a boy-friend

He didn't know. He probably assumed that if I had a boyfriend he'd be teaching me to drive and I wouldn't be getting lessons.

RedzDrivingScho

Hi Sunnyside......

I think the fact that you felt uncomfortable is all that matters....they maybe were innocent remarks from someone who doesn't have any social skills or they were not innocent and were lecherous…..
Personally I think you were right to feel uncomfortable because building rapport with someone does not mean making personal comments……
Hope the rest of the driving goes well…..
Richard

piotr

Im not very good with writing in english..i'm polish driving instructor in dublin area. to be honest with you all: IRELAND IS JUST MILES AWAY FROM EUROPE WITH DRIVER TRAINING SYSTEM! Show me please another country where you can drive legally without proper training? ok. maybe your father, uncle, brother etc. showed you what to do with the car to move off and change gears, but WHO HAS TRAINED THEM?? I have passed my driving test in poland 11 years ago- there was compulsory 20 hrs of theory classes and 20 hrs of driving lessons - still not enough. now in poland we have to do 30 hrs. in Germany around 50 hrs and ALL the fresh drivers are restricted for period of 2 years! And believe me or not - DRIVING TEST IN IRELAND IS A CHILDS PLAY! MORE FUNNY RATHER THAN DIFFICULT! When i'm teaching or preparing my students for their driving test i feel fully relaxed coz i know what i'm doing.
RSA Approved? So far I have passed 2 stages of this funny game and I will pass stage 3 as well. How do I know? Cause I'm reading books, practicing driving with good manners and giving confidence on my lessons.
REMEMBER: ONLY PRACTICE WILL MAKE A GOOD DRIVER! Driving instructor will speed up that process only with your best intences!

"IT IS NICE TO BE NICE" Good luck to YOU all, and thanks to IRELAND for this great opportunity to be here. CHEERS! :cool:
Sorry for my english, I'm still improving.
<SNIP>

sailerman

Hi as an RSA instructor,i am sorry to hear that your driving instructor is not up to the standard,s required by th RSA,i would doubt that he is approved by them,you should ring the RSA and ask to speak to someone in the ADI unit,if he is on there list they will take action.

sunnyside

sailerman wrote: »

Hi as an RSA instructor,i am sorry to hear that your driving instructor is not up to the standard,s required by th RSA,i would doubt that he is approved by them,you should ring the RSA and ask to speak to someone in the ADI unit,if he is on there list they will take action.

He is on the list but I moved on from him almost as soon as I posted this thread. I did want to report him but figured it would be his word against mine and he would obviously say we drove round the housing estate because that was all I was able for. And the personal comments, he would obviously deny that too and I don't want the hassel.

Now I'm annoyed with the guy I've replaced him with. I've done a lesson a week for almost 2 months with him and I think he's getting complacent as he's used to me being reliable and turning up every week and giving him money.

He seems to have dented my confidence too because I honestly feel I was doing better a few weeks ago. I think he just doesn't like me or is tired of me. In the last lesson he was putting me down a lot. He was trying to discourage me from doing a test and everything I did in the lesson just wasn't good enough for him but when I tried to find out why he wouldn't explain. Most things were "adequate" to pass a test but still not very good. He also told me that it's going to be harder for me to pass a test because I'm older (30). I know that is probably true but I was still kind of offended.

When the car stalled he was annoyed with me, was speaking to me as if I'm completely stupid and he's charging more than other instructors.

He was great at the learning stage but now he doesn't seem interested in helping with the test so I think it's time to start again with someone new.

I honestly don't think the RSA approval is making better instructors. If anything the unapproved ones have to work harder to keep their customers. A lot of what's required for teaching people to drive is personality and people skills and no RSA approval can teach that.

mefain

This is a very bad scene, you pay for a professional lesson and you get, annoyed and very upset!! This Instructor is unprofessional and is exactly the type of driving instructor the RSA and the entire driving industry are trying to get rid of. His behaviour is unacceptable. It also appears he had no lesson plan, bad, very very bad! All driving instructors are now monitored by the RSA and I strongly urge you to contact them, give them this guys name and ADI number if you have it and insist they follow up on your complaint and come back to you with a response. There are thousands of extremely good instructors out there and I know there are a number of excellent female instructors in cork city and surrounding areas. Put this creep behind you and don't let him put you off driving, it's a brilliant skill and affords you complete freedom ,it's something to enjoy and learning should be enjoyable too. Best of luck:)

sunnyside

mefain wrote: »

and I know there are a number of excellent female instructors in cork city and surrounding areas.

Back in August I called a female instructor. She asked if I'd had lessons with anyone else. I was naieve enough to tell her the truth that yes I had. She even tried to find out his name but I wouldn't tell her. She refused me lessons saying I should stick with the one instructor.

Now I've found the number of another female and I'm going to call her. If she asks I'll say I haven't had lessons, friends/family taught me.

If this works out she will be my 3rd instructor. At least I've learned how to drive by now. Wondering how many more of them I get through before I pass a test.

kick-on

i had a instructor last year who was the biggest <SNIP> ever!!! he would eat the head off me for minor faults instead of pointing out where i was going wrong, i think i ended up making more mistakes because of him, at the end of the lesson he said to me as i was reversing into the parking spot : " if you hit off anything when your reversing im going to leave a tatoo on your arm with this pen" i reversed into the spot perfectly, told him id like to see him <SNIP> try to do it, walked in to the centre and told the secretary i wanted my money back and was never getting a lesson with them again!!!!!!! i think he got the sack!!

SeanW

sunnyside wrote: »

Back in August I called a female instructor. She asked if I'd had lessons with anyone else. I was naieve enough to tell her the truth that yes I had. She even tried to find out his name but I wouldn't tell her. She refused me lessons saying I should stick with the one instructor.

Then she's not much loss, when I had to switch instructors, I told my new instructor the whole truth about my previous driving history, he worked with me to get my driving up to a better standard, explained a lot of what I had been doing wrong, and where there was a seemingly irreconcilable difference between what I had been taught previously and what he told me, we'd go through it piece by piece until I was satisfied I had the right advice.

He made a handy few hundred €€€s and I passed my next driving test. Though it might perhaps have been a factor that this instructor didn't think much of my previous driving school, to say the least.

Now I've found the number of another female and I'm going to call her. If she asks I'll say I haven't had lessons, friends/family taught me.

I would recommend avoiding that: if your next instructor has this attitude she's not much addition either. Seriously, if anyone tells you that you should stick with a useless instructor, they really can't be a whole lot better themsleves.

If this works out she will be my 3rd instructor. At least I've learned how to drive by now. Wondering how many more of them I get through before I pass a test.

Keep going until you find a decent one.