Is not drinking more of an issue in Ireland than elsewhere?

scoey

I'm currently living abroad for a year as part of my degree. I don't like drinking, for various reasons. As an exchange student this year, I've made friends with people from all over the world. One thing I have noticed, is that even though a lot of people from other countries drink, they really don't seem to make a big deal of it if you don't. If it comes up in a conversation the response will just be something akin to "fair enough", and it'll be left at that. Also with the guys I hang out with here, we often hang out and go places that don't involve any drinking. Cinema, restaurants, walks up mountains, visiting various places museums and the like.

In contrast to this, at home in Ireland I always think people really feel like drinking is an essential part of the process of "having fun". They always act utterly fascinated by the fact that you don't drink, need to know why(because of course there must be a good justification for such an important decision!!), there's the whole "pestering you to have a drink" process if you do go out to a situation where people are drinking.

Also, I've noticed that in Ireland most of the time when young men(the groups I know best) have a plan to socialise, it will either be solely based around drinking, or will involve it to a large extent somehow. I'm sure the people who set up this board will appreciate that this is the case. I think it's interesting that we live in a culture where it's actually necessary to set up a "non drinkers group" on the internet, in order to arrange some fun activities beyond "let's go to the pub".

I have a girlfriend who doesn't drink(not Irish), it's a non issue in our relationship, never been discussed, because it's not important. My last girlfriend drank a very small amount but didn't care about the fact that I didn't drink(also, not Irish). I find that in Ireland, not drinking really does hinder one's progress with (Irish) women,with girls my age anyway, as drinking is treated as such an intrinsic part of having fun, that if you don't drink, it's this big issue when it comes to socializing together and such. I'm not saying this is the women's fault, as it's an issue for me too, as it will mean we're not really on the same page in terms of what we want to do socially.

So yeah, not drinking does draw more attention in Ireland than elsewhere, and Irish socializing is based around drinking more than other countries'. I must say it's something that makes me not look forward to going home. Getting asked why I don't drink, like it's something that has to be justified, and then getting "ah, go on" repeatedly, if you do go out with a group of people who are drinking, are two things I have not missed at all while living abroad this year.

Despite the impression I'm sure this post gives, I don't look down on people who drink. It's just frustrating to live in a culture that places so much emphasis on it as a means of having fun. I'm 22 now, and from 18-20, I did drink regularly like anyone else. I just went off it for no specific reason, I just don't like it, and feel better without it. I understand why people enjoy it so much. So as I said, this isn't supposed to be some smug post where I look down my nose at people drinking. Also, I'm aware that Ireland isn't alone in having a drinking culture, with the UK in particular having pretty much all the same issues we do. That said, I'd like some opinions on Ireland, as that's where I live.

I'd just like to hear other peoples opinions on this. Have you noticed that this is more of an issue in Ireland than elsewhere? If so, why do you think drink is so important in Ireland? If anyone has experience of living elsewhere and what the situation there was, I'd like to hear about it.

Feeonaw

My cousin lives over in Oz and herself and her boyfriend aren't big drinkers. They said that over there the 20-25 age group are more into the music & surfing scene. I suppose they have the good weather! It's so easy here to just go to a safe cosy pub on a rainy night.

We are a bit limited in what we can do as far as outdoor activities go. Popular activities tend to be indoor...such as going to the cinema, having meals out, shopping, etc.

I think it's important to have a Non Drinkers Group so that we can give people the choice to do something a bit different and meet new people. It's a whole mindset thing really...I just can't believe no-one set-up something like this a long time ago!

af_thefragile

I think its pretty much the same in England, Scotland, USA, Canada, Australia and all...
In my college there are people from all over the world. Mostly from Canada, USA, Australia and a few from UK, including the Irish guys of course. And yes, their concept of having fun involves going down to the pub/club and getting drunk out of their head. They're all pretty much the same and it makes little difference where they come from.

I think its mostly about individual people than the whole culture. Though in places like Australia and LA where there is good weather and a good music scene, people do tend to get involved in other activities too like surfing, skateboarding, music n all. Cuz those scenes are big there so people have more options.

Comparing that to Ireland where you've got crap weather 24/7, freezing waters, crap music scene and no decent places to hang around apart from the pub, people are only left with one choice of socialising. Thats the pub and clubs. And where there are abundant drinks, people are ought to get drunk!

So maybe if there was a big and decent music and surf (or any social sport) scene in Ireland and a lot more leisure places in town rather a pub on every street, people would have more options for finding fun things to do rather the the only option open in the night time which are the pubs/clubs.

SO yeah, i blame it on the serious lack of outdoor and indoor activities in Ireland. We have no leisure places open during the night time. People look down on skaters n bikers. No theme parks of any sort. Although Ireland has an amazing coastline and brilliant surf, the quality of development is poor and also quite expensive to be able to develop a good scene (surfing/sailing schools are ridiculously priced). Bad roads and no "cool/fun" places to go, although they're many, they're just poorly developed. The music scene plain sucks although there are a large amounts of bands, majority sound poor. And to top all that up its the abundance of pubs and night clubs. Thats the only proper thing you have in Ireland. No wonder drinking is gonna be a big issue here. Its a part of the culture!

Slutmonkey57b

There's a big difference between college life and "normal" life though. In other countries, you'll probably find that people going out in a gang drinking is a different, and less frequent event. At the very least, you'll find that saying to someone "Hey, fancy going to the museum tomorrow?" is a suggestion that won't be met with laughter or funny looks. People elsewhere do drink but they don't have the teenager's attitude to drinking that the Irish and a lot of the British do.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I love the fact that, in Ireland, when you meet someone new, and early question in the conversatoin will usually be, "so, where do you go drinking, then?"

AlmightyCushion

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I love the fact that, in Ireland, when you meet someone new, and early question in the conversatoin will usually be, "so, where do you go drinking, then?"

I have never asked nor been asked that question.

af_thefragile

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I love the fact that, in Ireland, when you meet someone new, and early question in the conversatoin will usually be, "so, where do you go drinking, then?"

Its more "wanna go for a drink" as a way of getting to know one another...

dave.omeara

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I love the fact that, in Ireland, when you meet someone new, and early question in the conversatoin will usually be, "so, where do you go drinking, then?"

I hate when the question of drinking comes up in a conversation with someone who I've just met. People seem to think it's cause of a bad experience. Or that I've never drank and thus I'm a drys***e for not doing it. And then I seem to find myself on the defensive. Not a good place to be if it's a date with a young lady.

But I was in Germany a few years back for college, and met a number of people from different countries. And the topic never really came up. After a little while, when going to bbq's I go to get a drink of water, and the people throwing it would go "We got a bottle of Coke for you because we know you don't drink". It was great. Over here, its like, "I think we have something in the press, let me go look".
It's not a big thing whether you do or don't drink over there. It was seriously relaxing.

dave.omeara

dave.omeara wrote: »

But I was in Germany a few years back for college, and met a number of people from different countries. And the topic never really came up. After a little while, when going to bbq's I go to get a drink of water, and the people throwing it would go "We got a bottle of Coke for you because we know you don't drink". It was great. Over here, its like, "I think we have something in the press, let me go look".
It's not a big thing whether you do or don't drink over there. It was seriously relaxing.

You're dead right. I don't know how many times I've been out somewhere and despite people knowing I'm not drinking they'll usually try to hand me something alcoholic. Then I end up drinking it just to fit in and I'm sick later in the night. It's no good.

Dagon

dave.omeara wrote: »

I hate when the question of drinking comes up in a conversation with someone who I've just met. People seem to think it's cause of a bad experience. Or that I've never drank and thus I'm a drys***e for not doing it. And then I seem to find myself on the defensive. Not a good place to be if it's a date with a young lady.

Yeah, know what you mean mate. I stopped drinking when I was 23, and now I'm 28. I used to try and kind of hide it years ago, but after a while you care less and less. It can take a while to build up that confidence in yourself and your lifestyle choice (well it did for me), but that will come eventually and you honestly won't give a toss what people think, and you won't be trying to defend anything! Sometimes I actually find that other people will go on the defensive if they see you enjoying yourself with no drinks, and I've often found people saying, "Yeah, I'm thinking of going off the drink next month.." etc. You will be pleasantly surprised in many cases once you start enjoying yourself, and let people know you're happy without drink, and you know how to party!!

Some people in this country have some ridiculous ideas that you have to drink to get the chicks, but I honestly think the opposite is true. If a woman knows you are sober and you still appear confident, and not afraid to approach them, they will be impressed. And remember; alcohol doesn't help when things get intimate.

rosiec

I really think it depends on the type of people you hang out with. Most of my group aren't big drinkers so i dont have any problems with them. The only time they might get a bit persistant is if i've had 1 drink and want to stick with soft drinks for the rest if the night. They find that a bit strange!

As for needing to drink to score with girls, thats complete balls. I'd much prefer a guy who was sensible with alcohol. I hate going out with my friends boyfriends if a lot of alcohol is going to be involved. The stuff they get up to is so cringewrothy.

af_thefragile

Dagon wrote: »

Some people in this country have some ridiculous ideas that you have to drink to get the chicks, but I honestly think the opposite is true. If a woman knows you are sober and you still appear confident, and not afraid to approach them, they will be impressed. And remember; alcohol doesn't help when things get intimate.

I herd that from a lot of people not just from this country but from pretty much everywhere. They say it helps them ease their nerves and gives them more confident to go up to the chick and chat her up.
Which usually ends up in a disaster cuz they end up getting so drunk, they don't have a clue what they're doing and get all over the chick which freaks/creeps her out. Unless they end up getting the chick pretty drunk too and end up in bed. Which is what a lot of guys try to aim for.

Its all pretty stupid. Firstly clubs n pubs would be the last place i'ld wanna meet someone cuz they're drunk or the music is too loud, you can't have a decent conversation. And then like its much better when you're both sober and know whats happening is pretty genuine and not out of some drunk half minded decision making.

estebancambias

You just have to laugh.

I love the '**** weather' thing, as why people here drink. someone said the waters cold so you can't surf...:rolleyes: Hilarious really...apparently its impossible to skateboard when its cold.....

As I say I don't drink. Nobody questions me that I dont drink...normally just 'fair play' or something like this.

maby because most of you are old people behave differently but there is plenty going on and plenty of people that don't scum drink in this country.

boringteetotal

Im 22 and I haven't drank in nealry 4 years now. Just never enjoyed it-the taste or the the loss of sound judgement.

I found when I was out in a pub, the reaction to me sipping on an orange juice or water was one of shock, pity and unbelief.

"Ah have a West Coast Cooler at LEAST!"
Eventually I gave up the nightlife. I'd prefer to be not pitied and and enjoy other activities than sit watching people talk random crap and pour their hearts out over a snotty tissue.

Drink to me is a drug, causes bad hangovers, not good for the stomach if excessive, and makes you do stupid things.

In moderaton, treated with respect and enjoyed in the company of good friends then it can be wondeful.

Unfortunately its more of a badge of honour, a rite of passage, and a symbol of 'fitting in' than anything else.