Psychotic episodes? - help needed

ImmortalOne

Hi,

Now, before I start I know no-one should give someone advice when it comes to mental health problems, I'm just asking for information from people that would be kind enough to give it.

In the past I've suffered from depression, I got over it, and through CBT and meds I can get on with things. However, something has been happening to me in the last few years is worrying me.

I have these 'episodes' a few times a day where I imagine that I'm being atacked from someone, or Im fighting/arguing with someone, sometimes it's just arguing or actual physical fighting (involving knives, guns) and then they end, and I snap back into reality, these last aout 20-30 seconds.

I'm worried because it phycically shows when I'm having these episodes, i make angry tense faces and movements. It's worrying because I dont people to see this.

The question is does anyone know what this is actually called? Is it a 'psychotic episode'? or something else. They can get pretty violent and sometimes I imagine stabbing that person to death etc. It's horrible and don't want to be thinking of things like this. I'm afraid to tell the doctor, because they'll think I'm a danger to myself or someone else and lock me up. When I know I would never hurt anyone.

Sorry for the long post, but I dont know what to do.
Thanks in advance.

Kevster

This is certainly strange, ImmortalOne, and I understand your uneasiness about going to a doctor about this. The thing is, many people have such thoughts of harming others in their heads, but they see them as irrelevant and dismiss them. You, on the other hand, are reacting adversely to the thoughts. Think of them as nothing more than inherent thoughts that are as a consequence of our ancestral days where we had to hunt and kill other animals. You should NOT be worrying about them, because I know that you are a nice chap and would never hurt anyone.

This could be related to OCD in some form too, by the way.

Kevin

ImmortalOne

Kevster wrote: »

This is certainly strange, ImmortalOne, and I understand your uneasiness about going to a doctor about this. The thing is, many people have such thoughts of harming others in their heads, but they see them as irrelevant and dismiss them. You, on the other hand, are reacting adversely to the thoughts. Think of them as nothing more than inherent thoughts that are as a consequence of our ancestral days where we had to hunt and kill other animals. You should NOT be worrying about them, because I know that you are a nice chap and would never hurt anyone.

This could be related to OCD in some form too, by the way.

Kevin

Thanks Kevin for your honest remarks. It makes a lot of sense now, I've been reading up about OCD and it's scary, because apart from this major symptom, I do show others, when growing up I used to become obsessed with different things, for months on end, I'd stay up all night learning about them and getting hold of anything I could (guns, war, aircraft, basketball, computer hacking, phones) then they'd pass and I'd move onto something else. I hope I don't have OCD, but I do need to get treatment for this.

I might as well talk to my doctor and see what happens from there. I just hope they dont make me take more drugs, 'm already on SSRi's for anxiety. Anyway, thanks, you've helped a lot.

Kevster

Okay, no problem my friend. I'm actually taking an SSRI too, and I have been doing so for around 4 years now (Lexapro). I was actually diagnosed with OCD in the past, but my unofficial diagnosis is Asperger's Syndrome. When you mentioned that you stayed up all night learning about different things in your childhood, I suddenly though: Asperger's Syndrome (i.e. that you may have it too). Have you ever even heard of it?

Kevin

Cinful

Consult with professional regarding condition?

Kevster

Cinful, your signature... ...I've cracked it! :rolleyes:

Cinful

Kevster wrote: »

Cinful, your signature... ...I've cracked it! :rolleyes:

Whatever turns you on.

ImmortalOne: The fact that you're talking about this is a good sign. Follow-up with a therapist for further guidance.

ImmortalOne

Cinful wrote: »

Whatever turns you on.

ImmortalOne: The fact that you're talking about this is a good sign. Follow-up with a therapist for further guidance.

I did, they didn't lock me up, lol. Just reffered me to a psychiatrist. But she was quite interetsed in my violent thoughts and asked me questions like 'do you live with anyone at the moment' and 'how do you get on with them?' lol.

I can see why she's concerned.

Cinful

ImmortalOne...
You can talk to me if you choose. Suggest PM rather than open forum. Anonymity preserved on both sides, so safe. You're call. If you do, be patient with me. I'm not a frequent poster, but will eventually get back to you. Realize that I'm just a student majoring in psychology, so I cannot take the place of a qualified professional. Just a friendly chat if you wish.