Can I ask some GF advice

Call Me Jimmy

MIN2511 wrote: »

eperience:eek:

Yea I have a horse come to the house once a week to pummel me...

Captain Darling

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Well I already admitted I was speaking from experience with horses but not donkeys.

Jesus, that could be misconstrued a million different ways, and none of them not durty............................

Gran Hermano

Mike,

Ignore the nay-sayers, you know you're a 'real man' after all with your
toned swimming phisique (sic) she'd be mad not to take you up on your
offer to nail her. She's probably stocked up on the lube and condoms
to ensure she's ready for a night of proper loving with you.

On the other hand your best mate might be nailing her as we type.

Mike.

Sofaspud

<pi>
Mike, you seem vain and self righteous from your posts. Your girlfriend is sensible and doesn't want to give out sex to everyone she goes out with, a month is a relatively short time to be in a relationship, and not everyone has sex that early. You seem overly obsessed with sex, there could be any number of reasons why she has those things in her drawers, but you shouldn't be snooping through her things regardless, you obviously don't respect her that much.
</pi>

<after hours>
This thread is made of win
</after hours>

<me>
TROOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
</me>

Mike.

IRISH RAIL

Maybe when she gets her results today shes out on the town to become liberated or is that lubricated not sure yet, wheres snyper when u need him, come to think of it maybe its him shes nailing

dsmythy

IRISH RAIL wrote: »

Maybe when she gets her results today shes out on the town to become liberated or is that lubricated not sure yet, wheres snyper when u need him, come to think of it maybe its him shes nailing

Snyper is always the nailer not the nailee.

Wurly

IRISH RAIL wrote: »

wheres snyper when u need him, come to think of it maybe its him shes nailing

Interesting........ Just where is snyper.....

He must have some physique on him..

Captain Darling

IRISH RAIL wrote: »

Maybe when she gets her results today shes out on the town to become liberated or is that lubricated not sure yet, wheres snyper when u need him, come to think of it maybe its him shes nailing

I'm sure he doesnt pussyfoot around with lube.:eek:

MysticalSoul

It seems you don't respect your girlfriend. Firstly what possessed you to go snooping. If you confronted her on the items, I would not be surprised if you found yourself dumped. Also, lube and condoms are very likely, as has already been said here, used for masturbation. Has she had sex before do you know, as many girls masturbate before they get down to sex. Also, talking about wanting to nail your girlfriend, shows very little respect or regard for your girlfriend. Sexual intimacy, should always start out with a mutual respect for each other.

Wurly

Captain Darling wrote: »

pussyfoot

lube

Niccccccccce!:P

Captain Darling

Tri wrote: »

Niccccccccce!:P

Theres too much sexual tension and in-ur-endo going on tonight here for my liking.

Wurly

Captain Darling wrote: »

Theres too much sexual tension and in-ur-endo going on tonight here for my liking.

/goes off to run a cold bath

Sparky

Maybe she likes a bit of anal.

Captain Darling

Tri wrote: »

bath

All i saw there was bath.

Aghhhhhhhhhhh, gotta go to bed.

Thats more of it. Doh!:D

Captain Darling

Spankeh wrote: »

Maybe she likes a bit of anal.

She has to ask him first before she sticks something up his ass though.

Surprise buttsecks ftw perhaps.

Wurly

Captain Darling wrote: »

All i saw there was bath.

Aghhhhhhhhhhh, gotta go to bed.

Thats more of it. Doh!:D

Ha ha, classic hits!:D

Yeah, I thought the cold bath would help. Instead, it just improved 'pertness'

/plan aborted.

Captain Darling

Tri wrote: »

Yeah, I thought the cold bath would help. Instead, it just improved 'pertness'

/all flirted out...........................;)

Wurly

Captain Darling wrote: »

/all flirted out...........................;)

Same.:)
/sigh.

jiltloop

mikeindublin wrote: »

well, i'm confused, she says she only ever slept with 2 other guys...we go swimming together and she praises my phisique, says how hot I look, yes, she's not in to sex...i dunno what to think...

maybe she meant she's only ever slept with 2 other guys at the same time, she waiting for you to get a male friend to join in.....hence the ky jelly

MagicMarker

Double penetration ftw!

Dave147

Mikeindublin, you sound like a prepubescent teen who's not even ready for sex yet. Did it occur to you that she does not want to have sex with you yet? Some girls will have sex on the first few dates, some girls like to wait a couple of months to see if you stick around, she's the latter obviously.. It's frustrating but it's tough ****!

I would suggest growing up a bit before you get too involved in a relationship.

LadyJ

She's gonna get it and she doesn't even know it!

KingLoser

HOLY CRAP.

Maybe she's gay? I can't think of any other reason why a woman would refuse to be nailed by you Mike.

MagicMarker

Maybe she's a he?

KingLoser

Maybe she's an it?

MagicMarker

KingLoser wrote: »

Maybe she's an it?

You're an it.

KingLoser

So's your face..

Dave147

LadyJ wrote: »

She's gonna get it and she doesn't even know it!

AHHHHHH The Wedding Singer, one of my favourite quotes in history, especially when Adam Sandler hangs him. Quality!! Well done

MagicMarker

KingLoser wrote: »

So's your face..

Ah, touche

mikeindublin

Dave147 wrote: »

Mikeindublin, you sound like a prepubescent teen who's not even ready for sex yet. Did it occur to you that she does not want to have sex with you yet? Some girls will have sex on the first few dates, some girls like to wait a couple of months to see if you stick around, she's the latter obviously.. It's frustrating but it's tough ****!

I would suggest growing up a bit before you get too involved in a relationship.

I'm very grown up thank you very much - you self-righteous prat.

4Xcut

mikeindublin wrote: »

I'm very grown up thank you very much - you self-righteous prat.

Tall is not the same as grown up mike. You are [personal abuse]%#*&%*&[/personal abuse].

captainzapp

maybe she was waiting to be sure that she could trust you before she decided to sleep with you. theres no point trying to talk her in to it really. shell know when shes ready. relax. have a beer. catch up on your correspondance!

Kur4mA

Did you check under her bed?!? Maybe she has an 8 foot dildo that she likes to use when you're not around, hence the lube. ZOMG.

mbren

I'm sure it's nothing to do with you being good looking or not.
You should always look at it in a positive way OP...maybe she really likes you and doesn't want to put out too easily in case you think she has no class!

As for the KY, there could be loads of reasons for that, such as she might be sensitive down there, she could have it from an earlier relationship etc!
Either way, don't worry about it...she will sleep with you when she is ready!

LadyE

The tag on this is fooking disgusting.

:rolleyes:

Steve_o

KY jelly is lovely on toast...

ugliest

If she won't sleep with ya mike, i will


Also, no condoms, i want you to to stay with me foreeeeeeeeeeeeever.

And we can have a nice little flat, and i want five kids and a pet dog and we can have swinging parties and have as many couples over that can fit in the spare room/kitchen. Have to screen them probably, don't want them fiddling too much with the kids.

Not everyone is turned on by crying toddlers.


Pm me for more details! x

milod

Mike, KY is generally a bad sign. It can mean one or more of the following:

1. You don't make her wet - even with your apparently lovely 'phisique'
2. She likes it up the gicker ...but not from you.
3. She likes to masturbate with 2 litre coke bottles and probably has a fanny like a wizard's sleeve
4. The KY is for you mate... you just haven't found the Fist Dildo yet.

kaimera

LadyJ wrote: »

She's gonna get it and she doesn't even know it!

So you are going on Sat then? :pac:

jester77

They are just tools of the trade Mike!!

ibh

milod wrote: »

Mike, KY is generally a bad sign. It can mean one or more of the following:

1. You don't make her wet - even with your apparently lovely 'phisique'
2. She likes it up the gicker ...but not from you.
3. She likes to masturbate with 2 litre coke bottles and probably has a fanny like a wizard's sleeve
4. The KY is for you mate... you just haven't found the Fist Dildo yet.
5. She's a post-op transsexual and she can't naturally lubricate.

You forgot number 5..

CountingCrows

ibh wrote: »

You forgot number 5..

So true, you know what they say - The most obvious answer is usually the right one!

CtrlSource

Why hasn't this been moved to PI?

MysticalSoul

mikeindublin wrote: »

But, what would a girl want with KY jelly...I thought it was for gays...

What on earth makes you think that only gay people use this? :eek: It is a lubricant! :rolleyes:

Steve_o

CtrlSource wrote: »

Why hasn't this been moved to PI?

If this went to PI now, we'd all be banned... have you seen the replies??:D

Captain Ginger

Maybe she has aids.

CountingCrows

Captain Ginger wrote: »

Maybe she has aides.

Whats her runners got to do with this?

Captain Ginger

Haha so used to avoiding the banned word filter on another forum, forgot you can say it here.

turf

turf wrote: »

qft. girls are way better at amusing themselves than we are at amusin them.

Says you......

Captain Darling wrote: »

I'm sure he doesnt pussyfoot around with lube.:eek:

All the Snype needs is tears. Sweet, salty tears.

CtrlSource

Steve_o wrote: »

If this went to PI now, we'd all be banned... have you seen the replies??:D

Lol true! Though the statute of limitations should apply? :P