noisy bitch

gamblitis

Leave the car running and you'll get that smokey effect and get high at the same time!!

Creature

dr.bollocko wrote: »

That's only really revenge if you bring friends.
With AIDS.

gamblitis wrote: »

lol SKULLFCUKFEST!

You people are sick.

minxie

Creature wrote: »

You people are sick.

but good .... eh......:p

RuailleBuaille

Overheal wrote: »

im not very good at the revenge game: too aware that most tactics will only work against you later. however, sugar + petrol tank = fun car times.

Myth busted according to Mythbusters.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Pffth... Wait for a weekend where she is not around, go out for a few pints, when the pub /club closes invite as many random people back to her place for a party.
Then kick in her door and crank up some music. Maybe set fire to her coffee table.
Go home, ring the guards and tell them she is having another party and there is smoke coming from her appartment.

Hey presto...

funk-you

Crack a stink bomb on her door handle periodically.

-Funk

faceman

Turn your stereo up full, point speakers at their walls. Go away for a few days mid week.

Overheal

RuailleBuaille wrote: »

Myth busted according to Mythbusters.

ball bearings water and dog shyte then and actually water is a major engine killer.

ROCKMAN

Apartments block ,Take it al the flats have same layout ,bedroom above bedroom etc etc, If so.
1. Remove one floor board in your bedroom ,
2. Get/buy small but powerful speaker.
3 Place in space under your floorboards , facing down to her bedroom.
4 Insulate around top of speaker (your side )
5 Replace floorboard and hid connecting lead to stereo.
6 Record loud and ear bleeding Baby Crying sounds (big brother like) a hell of alot more annoying than loud music.
7 Start playing once or twice a day at times you see fit (FULL VOLUME)
8 Increase playing times over days/ weeks .
9 Important avoid all contact with her for at less three weeks.
even if she calls to door after a few days to say she will stop . Keep it up for a few weeks . Call this interest due.

ps If insulated and aimed right ,Sound should only effect her and leave nieghbours in peace.

Anti

I think its fair to say i dont ever wanna piss some of you cunts off. Evul on a epic level !

How about that scene from oceans 13 (yeah has been on premier all week) Get some stink bombs and break them at her door, and set up a fan to blow it through. Then find some of them red ants ot termites or something and put them under her door too.

b0bsquish

Bear traps.

all the stars

Dragan wrote: »

Head down to Woodies and get a big thing of wood glue. I mean a BIG ****ing pack of that ****. Next time you know she is asleep go down and glue her front door to the frame.

It won't help but it WILL be hilarious.

:pac: hahahahahahahahahahha hahahahahah :pac::D

Kiss the Girls

dade wrote: »

bitch parks under a street light. though i have considered battery acid or a sneaky nail iner all four wheels

http://www.caswellplating.com/permatex/permgasketremovers.html

Try some of this, just walk by car spray on any painted surface. This stuff is nasty, will destroy paint.

dade

dade wrote: »

right lads and lasses of AH

i have this neighbour and she is a noisy bitch. and i don't mean the auld sex grunts and headboard banging or the shouts of glee from surprise butt sex. i mean doors banging, screaming arguments with the OH and music blaring at all hours day or night, if it was half decent i wouldn't mind so much but by Christ 5AM Saturday morning and the locomotion is not something i want to hear through the floorboards.

I have tried the friendly knocking at the door and politely asking her to lower it a little, i have even tried the politely knocking and telling her to STFU. on each occasion i was told to **** off as the door was slammed in my face. i have tried the hammering on the floor, making as much noise as possible, jumping up and down at ungodly hours (the joys of timber framed apartments) and even retaliated early in the mornings when i know shes had a party the night before, left the stereo on speakers pointing at the floor above her bedroom and left the apartment for 4 hours so i wouldn't have to listen to it. all to no avail. I even tried the formal make a complaint to the management company. so two years of her crap and I'm asking the good users of AH for so ideas on how to deal with this little annoying cùnt.

now no solutions like chloroform or surprise butt sex coz in all seriousness i wouldn't ride her with Snypers she's that septic looking.

Where you living OP? Near some big city I am hoping.

This is an easy one! Go down to your local town and find yourself a prostitute. Pay her to knock on her door looking for her OH , when she asks why you'll need the Prosie well scripted.

Loud bitch - ''What do ya want him for?''

Dirty slutbag - ''He left his vibrator in my apartment''

It's as easy as that OP. Be prepared for a bit of a war the first night but after the murder etc I am sure it will blow over nicely for you.

Good luck sir

Galvasean

Show up with one of these bad boys
http://www.scholarsandrogues.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/chigurh.jpg
Usually shuts them up

junior_apollo

Galvasean wrote: »

Show up with one of these bad boys
http://www.scholarsandrogues.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/chigurh.jpg
Usually shuts them up

I think showing up with this group of 'Heavies' would have much greater and more comical results... The Heavies

gamblitis

Epic lulz

Overheal

junior_apollo wrote: »

I think showing up with this group of 'Heavies' would have much greater and more comical results... The Heavies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm_-SBnFzPc

Dyr

Find hogweed.

Harvest hogweed.

Place hogweed in window wiper of car or jam in front door handle.

Hilarity ensues. :pac:

captain_crunch

save all your rotten veg and stinky rubbish, put in a bin, lean against her door and knock. as your running away with a big fat grin her feet and hallway get covered in your sweet sweet revenge.

Steve_o

As was said, the paper back full of shoite is always a good 'un, failing that, What you need is a funnel, some rotten food (preferably with sauce) and a banger... place food into funnel, wedge banger into the small end of said funnel, place in front of the door, light the fuse, and run like ****...

HJ Simpson

Dont even bother contacting her seriously she is a tramp. Contact the management company (assuming you have one) constantly until they do something about it.

Zangetsu

No offence but I wouldn't even tell you to **** off.... I'd close the door. Its thier home, not your place to tell them what to do. Theres ways of making them quiet down but you knocking on the door isn't one of them

dade

HJ Simpson wrote: »

Dont even bother contacting her seriously she is a tramp. Contact the management company (assuming you have one) constantly until they do something about it.

have done over the last two years, every time it happens i call their emergency number. yeah it's not an emergency but then there's a log of the incident at the ungodly huor this usually happens.

many emails to the "estate manager" who couldn't manage to get laid if she worked in a brothel if teh truth be known. and her response was what exactly would you like us to do? maybe enforce your house rules? maybe contact the council and look at an asbo or something.

dade

Zangetsu wrote: »

No offence but I wouldn't even tell you to **** off.... I'd close the door. Its thier home, not your place to tell them what to do.

yes it is their home and they are free to do in it that which they feel is good within the limits of the law. however i also have a right to no listen to their ****e at 3 AM on a Monday coz she has decided to have an argument with her OH, and i have the right to peace and quiet in my home.

on top of that there probably are laws about her behavior and noise limits and stuff and the estate has a list of "house rules" one of which is that the noise from music/TV shouldn't be heard outside the confines of your unit.

now i don't mind people having the occasional party but at one point it happened every second weekend over a 6-8 week period and also mid week. it also gets a tad annoying trying to get some study done and listing to some techno ****e that sounds like a jack hammer having an epileptic fit

Zangetsu wrote: »

Theres ways of making them quiet down but you knocking on the door isn't one of them

so you would suggest a first approach other than the friendly polite knock on the door? i always though friendly was a better approach than a 2 x 4 or a baseball bat. but hell fire away I'm all ears to your solution

forestfruits

Little-Devil wrote: »

After two years of trying to be reasonable its about time you played them at there own game. If i was you i would get a CD player with a timer on it and each morning before you leave for work or go out whenever leave to play at a nice high volume but not to loud and set a time of say 2hrs after it should knock itself off

pick one song- something like the crazy frong or some such irritating s**T surely listening to it over and over and over and over woudl be enough to fry anyones brain!;)

LouOB

Call the RSPCA and say there is a dog being mistreated in the apt down stairs, as you can hear the howls

Picture her face when RSPCA rep calls the door

Zangetsu

Never said anything about a bat although its not a bad idea if you are that kind of person...

I was just letting you know what a knock on the door to 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of peoples houses asking them to quiet down results in. If you want it to stop then contact the appropriate people, eg. noise polution at 5am if it really is that common and bad as you say = the garda. What they are doing at that hour is illegal and an annonamous phone call is all it takes.

I wasn't attacking you or your post, just offering a bit of advise from my experiance in the past on both sides of the war on noise. No need to get snappy :pac:

Jet Black

Buy a hammer, a drill and a large block.

1. Put the large block in the middle of the floor.
2. Mon-Fri at 2 in the morning drill and hammer the block for an hour or until she wakes up.
3. Tell her you will stop when she stops with the music.

Loopy

Cal over to her all sorry looking and apologise for being a prat for complaining about the noise. Just say you have been under a bit of pressure in work cos you had some important projects and stuff to finish.

Then offer a nice bottle of white wine and say, 'Friends'?

*important note*

Be sure to piss in the wine first...

dade

Zangetsu wrote: »

Never said anything about a bat although its not a bad idea if you are that kind of person...

I was just letting you know what a knock on the door to 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of peoples houses asking them to quiet down results in. If you want it to stop then contact the appropriate people, eg. noise polution at 5am if it really is that common and bad as you say = the garda. What they are doing at that hour is illegal and an annonamous phone call is all it takes.

I wasn't attacking you or your post, just offering a bit of advise from my experiance in the past on both sides of the war on noise. No need to get snappy :pac:

i was polite in the "sorry to bother you but would you mind lowering the music a tad i have exams next week and am cramming" type of approach. first time i knocked she was drilling and hammering at 1 AM. i politely knocked and said i understand that you've just moved in and want to sort the place out but it is a tad late." she said OK shut the door and i heard her say **** off through it. it's been the same since day 1.

i have called the Gardai they don't want to know. i sent an email today to the local council to see what they advice.

dade

looptheloop wrote: »

Be sure to piss in the wine first...

was getting a bit worried til i saw this bit

HJ Simpson

dade wrote: »

have done over the last two years, every time it happens i call their emergency number. yeah it's not an emergency but then there's a log of the incident at the ungodly huor this usually happens.

many emails to the "estate manager" who couldn't manage to get laid if she worked in a brothel if teh truth be known. and her response was what exactly would you like us to do? maybe enforce your house rules? maybe contact the council and look at an asbo or something.

She has got to be joking "what exactly would you like us to do? " how about her job manage the place. I would get onto her boss if she isnt capable. Seriously I was at a party years ago in a friends apartment which wasnt particularly noisy and the management company called to ask us to keep it down.

Zangetsu

Your best bet with the garda is to ring them while its happening. They have to send someone around then, its happened to me a few times in the past. They can't do anything otherwise. Local council are crap for these sorts of things but always worth a shot. Anyway I hope ya get it sorted!

mrs moneypenny

:D:D you lot are so funny.:D

oh dear, you're having a time of it.
i agree with zangestu call the garda while it's happening, tell them there is a disturbance, they'll have to knock on their door. i hope you manage to find a solution soon.:)

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

call their house/apartment pretending to be some kind of inspector or the house mamagement company and have some script made out that sounds all professional etc!

rstans

One large jar with a sealable lid.
Giblets from a chicken or two.
Milk.
Put milk and chicken bits in jar.
Seal jar good and tight.
Get someone who's at her party to hide it near radiator preferrably near curtains and carpet.
Heat causes fermentation.
Boom.
"What the f*** is that smell"

JangoFett

dade wrote: »

right lads and lasses of AH

i have this neighbour and she is a noisy bitch. and i don't mean the auld sex grunts and headboard banging or the shouts of glee from surprise butt sex. i mean doors banging, screaming arguments with the OH and music blaring at all hours day or night, if it was half decent i wouldn't mind so much but by Christ 5AM Saturday morning and the locomotion is not something i want to hear through the floorboards.

I have tried the friendly knocking at the door and politely asking her to lower it a little, i have even tried the politely knocking and telling her to STFU. on each occasion i was told to **** off as the door was slammed in my face. i have tried the hammering on the floor, making as much noise as possible, jumping up and down at ungodly hours (the joys of timber framed apartments) and even retaliated early in the mornings when i know shes had a party the night before, left the stereo on speakers pointing at the floor above her bedroom and left the apartment for 4 hours so i wouldn't have to listen to it. all to no avail. I even tried the formal make a complaint to the management company. so two years of her crap and I'm asking the good users of AH for so ideas on how to deal with this little annoying cùnt.

now no solutions like chloroform or surprise butt sex coz in all seriousness i wouldn't ride her with Snypers she's that septic looking.

Report her to the cops, simple as that, report her every time.

popebenny16

Just chop her up and post the bits to Australia.

Or stir fry her. Use Soy sauce, very nice. Tastes like chicken.

luder

Buy a barney cd and set it to play on repeat all day while your at work....a few hours of that is torture enough for anyone..

"I love you...you love me"..lol

sunshinegirl

have ye got the same landlord?Refuse to pay your rent until the situation is verified.Record her,document or activities.All boring stuff but maybe you will get her evicted.

start prank phonecalling her from an unknown simcard, start saying that its your flat and no one elses,that your a ghost or your mams spirit lives there and is haunting it... then start making banging noises,leave holy water outside the door,glue the door as sugested,whatever freaky you can do,she may get paranoid and move

Jet Black

Become friends with her. Then in two weeks time say you are throwing a party in your place and invite her. An hour before she arrives say you have no stereo and would she mind bringing hers and all her (sh!ty) CDs. Have the party and keep the stereo and CDs. If she comes calling for it make up excuses, or pretend not to be in.

Or break into the place and wreck up the gaf, fuk the stereo out the window repeat if needed. Oh and leave a nice present in her bed.

nobodythere

"You know what to do now don't ya? Burn them Ralphie, burn them all!"

Solicitors letter to the management company and landlord.

tech77

looptheloop wrote: »

Cal over to her all sorry looking and apologise for being a prat for complaining about the noise. Just say you have been under a bit of pressure in work cos you had some important projects and stuff to finish.

Then offer a nice bottle of white wine and say, 'Friends'?

*important note*

Be sure to piss in the wine first...

Haha, love it.
But what happens if she asks you to join her in a toast to your new "friendship"?

Loopy

tech77 wrote: »

Haha, love it.
But what happens if she asks you to join her in a toast to your new "friendship"?

That could be a problem

He could just mumble something about having an AA meeting to attend too and that when he does drink he becomes incredibly aggressive, that should work..

LookingFor

Sincerely sympathise..have my own noisy neighbours.

Ear plugs have become my best friend, but even they can't stop bass getting through to a certain degree

If they're renting, try talking to their landlord or letting agent. Or gently reminding them that previous tenants were evicted for anti-social behaviour (whether it was true or not). Or if you want to be nicer, a gift of headphones.

clairefrilly

try and listen in on her.see what radio station she listens to then ring them.If for example she listens to Joe Duffy or one of those types call them ask to go on and ask the nation what to do about her.Shame her .
OR
put an ad up around town with her number on it saying she is "open for business" anal will be extra .
OR
download "poltergeist" sounds and play them late at night into her bedroom maybe even add someone calling her name in a screechy banshee way

sickpuppy32

buy sheeps blood in the butchers ( for making home made black pudding), trail blood from outside to her front door and splash it about door, phone cops and ambulance saying u discovered a blood trail. wait for circus to arrive, when they deny knowledge of the blood, cops will tear place apart looking for body and will probably find the bit of spliff she has hidden! it worked for me hehe!

Odysseus

Get up early in the morning, have a crap on her door step. Repeat for a couple of days. Then get focused, go on the door. Then you do the whole dirty protest, write noisy bitch on her wall in aforemetioned substance. Try that if you need the next step in escalation pm me.