Few More

rocky25

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress.

The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo.

The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom,

'I think I am going to have a little dust broom!!!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !!' said the groom broom.



'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom.

Lady 1: Where'd you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s),

but politely asked what brand she preferred.

"Doesn't matter," she replied,

"as long as it fits a Camel."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Different types Of Sex.

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"

"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."

"Social Security sex?"

"Yeah, you know:

I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said,

"I've got a big problem, doctor.

Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained,

"It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,

"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"

She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.

The fish said to itself,

"If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal."

Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself,

"If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up,

and I'll catch the fish and have myself a meal."

As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening.

He thought to himself,

"If that fly moves closer to the fish,

the fish will jump,

the bear will lean over to grab the fish,

and I'll shoot the bear."

Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself,

"If that fly moves closer to the fish,

the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish,

the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear,

and I'll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter."

However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking,

"If that fly moves closer to the fish,

the fish will jump,

the bear will grab the fish,

the hunter will shoot the bear,

the rat will grab the sandwich,

and I'll snatch the rat."

At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches,

the fish grabbed the fly,

the bear grabbed the fish,

the hunter shot the bear,

the rat grabbed the sandwich,

the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.

The moral of this story is:

When the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet.

Diddy Kong

That last one is classic!! Good work Rocky!!

Stabshauptmann

Diddy Kong wrote: »

That last one is classic!! Good work Rocky!!

I couldnt disagree more, however the other jokes in the post are quite good.

Oman

i loved the sex one but the last one was legend

EDIT: just showed the last joke to me mate and he laughed so much, it seriouly is an abouslute classic