Don't tell Ryan Air !

dak

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ryan Air, sir. May I see your ticket?


Passenger: Sure.


Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be €5, please!


Passenger: What for?


Attendant: For telling you where to sit.


Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.


Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of €5. It's the airline's new policy.


Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.


Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?


Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.


Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?


Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.


Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be €10, please.


Passenger: What?


Attendant: The airline now charges a €10 carry-on assistance fee.


Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.


Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that €10.


Passenger: No way!


Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.


Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?


Attendant: No, but there's a €50 air-marshal hailing fee.


Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the €10. I can't believe this.


Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?


Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?


Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two euros into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.


Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?


Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 2 euro.


Passenger: I don't have any euro coins. Can you make change for a Tenner?


Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!


Passenger: But you've given me only 2 euros.


Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 8 euro.


Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy 2 euro coin? What the heck can I do with this?


Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

Steve

hehe - it's not that far from the truth either....:D

skinner2x

eh heh heh. Brilliant Dak