Few Quickies

rocky25

Two men went hunting. Joe had been hunting all his life, but Steve was hunting for the first time.

Joe told Steve to sit down and not make a sound. So he did.

But when Joe got 100 yards away, he heard a scream.

"I thought I told you to be quiet!" he said.

"Well, I was when the snake bit me," said Steve.

"And I was when the bear attacked me... but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said,

'Should we eat them or take them with us,' I screamed."

~~~~~~~~~~
A married couple both lost their jobs at the broom factory, and were having a hard time finding new jobs.

Unfortunately, their mounting credit card debt required some immediate income.

The wife suggested that she could whore herself out, but her husband was a little less than thrilled about the prospect.

But financial necessities got the best of her, and she went behind her husband's back to go whoring.

She came back one night with a huge wad of cash, and fessed up to her hubby.

He was upset, but asked how much she made.

"$398.10," she said.

"Who paid ten cents?" he asked.

"Everybody."

~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster.

The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.

The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you."

"Oh, that's no problem," said the man.

"If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour."

"Show me," said the interviewer.

So the man reached into his pocket.

Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin.

He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.

The interviewer said,

"That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country."

"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man,

"I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"

"Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.
The man replied,

"Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin.”

The Bollox

loved the last one

Podge2k7

The last two were class!