PUAs in Dublin

Dave147

PillyPen wrote: »

I would love to know more about this, because I think it would be hilarious to go to a club where one of the meetings is going on and lolol at the tactics. No offense, I'm sure you're very successful. :rolleyes:

You're just jealous because they never try and pick you up! :P

Only joking by the way, I'm not that nasty! I think it would be fun to watch and do actually.. I'm a shameless son of a bitch so I'm sure I'd have a laugh I wouldn't make a habit of it or anything, it would get boring very fast for me.

FlutterinBantam

Dragan wrote: »

Try talking to people, i find that works.

Also, when you keep needing to refer to the manual it kind of ruins the moment.

"Insert Tab A into Slot B is says....eh, which one is Slot B?"

Tab A goes into Slot A.

Never mess with Slot B:cool:

Wibbs

Pen1987 wrote: »

Re: Wibbs post... Its all about the trial and error, I'm similar to your friend but not nearly as cynical and I'd hate to get to the stage where I would be worried I'd never find the right person. He probably addicted to attracting women (I think I was in the past, honestly)... he needs to lay off going on the pull for a few months then gradually going back into it... I'd say he's more interested in proving to himself that he 'CAN get THIS girl' rather than actually interested in the girl and her personality. Its a weakness, constant need to validate yourself to yourself.

I probably didn't explain it well. He's not worried about it per se. More resigned than anything. He's in his late 30's and he does want to have kids at some stage, but I think if he could rent a womb he would. He's not doing it so much to prove it to himself either. Of course everybody self validates to one degree or other, but in general he just does it for the legover tm. He likes the novelty of different women I suppose, but he gets bored after at most a few months. TBH I think he just doesn't particularly like women, as people. I've found that to some degree or other is common enough, especially in older blokes.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Collie D

A_M101 wrote: »

Myself and a friend were outside Coppers after closing one Saturday night and we were approached by a guy who through out the "Just want to ask your opinion girls, I'm out with a friend...." yadda yadda.

Ten minutes later another guy comes up and does the exact same line. Then a guy who'd been standing near-by texting comes out with another line. At this stage all three lads were in stitches and we hadn't a clue what was going on.

Then a fourth came by and I realised they were all doing the PUA thing!

Very funny.

Did it never occur to you that these guys saw two girls on their own after closing time oiutside Coppers and thought "Easy, they'll be desperate at this stage"

I get your point though. I'm sure it kind of defeats the puropse if everyone is using the same approach/reading the same manual. I'm sure it all sounds/looks rehearsed.

A_M101

Collie D wrote: »

Did it never occur to you that these guys saw two girls on their own after closing time oiutside Coppers and thought "Easy, they'll be desperate at this stage"

Yeah, of course it did! That's why four different guys came up doing the same jive within a ten minute space.

A_M101

wylo wrote: »

I got into the PUA thing myself, and I have to admit it did work, and it did help me take good looking women off their pedestal.

What pedestal? I think it just teaches men to go up and actually talk to good looking women. I don't think good looking woman are on a pedestal anymore than any other woman and will (generally) talk to a man who just comes up and talks to them (say using the PUA lines), instead of leering at them or coming out with some cheesy chat-up line.

Collie D

A_M101 wrote: »

Yeah, of course it did! That's why four different guys came up doing the same jive within a ten minute space.

Coppers isn't known for it's charming, original men at closing time. If they could talk, walk and had most of their teeth then they were a good catch.

LolaLuv

Dave147 wrote: »

You're just jealous because they never try and pick you up! :P

Only joking by the way, I'm not that nasty! I think it would be fun to watch and do actually.. I'm a shameless son of a bitch so I'm sure I'd have a laugh I wouldn't make a habit of it or anything, it would get boring very fast for me.

Ha, maybe it is jealousy! In all seriousness, I'm sure it's harmless enough and actually helps some men, but it just seems like something that's a little embarrassing to cop to. Like LARPing.

wylo

A_M101 wrote: »

What pedestal? I think it just teaches men to go up and actually talk to good looking women. I don't think good looking woman are on a pedestal anymore than any other woman and will (generally) talk to a man who just comes up and talks to them (say using the PUA lines), instead of leering at them or coming out with some cheesy chat-up line.

I think you might have picked me up wrong. your dead right, good looking women are NOT on a pedestal, but you would be surprised how many lads don't realize this and treat them like gods, which in the end results in making themselves nervous and unattractive.

I think people here have the wrong idea about the whole PUA scene, its just basically classes to give guys more confidence talking to women and helps them stop being too nice and putting women on a pedestal.

If every guy had the kind of confidence that some of these experienced puas have women would not be complaining I guarantee you. The whole idea is that there is no chat up lines , just more routines , but I personally think routines are just as bad. Its that kind of stuff that helped me lose interest in it.

As I said before, if a bloke is having trouble pulling women, im talking about guys with serious problems then they should be looking more into their own self confidence. Fix that and then the rest will look after itself. One of the main things women want in a man is confidence. I guarantee no girl reading this will disagree with me there.

Magpie!

I wouldn't have thought the ability to pull dozens of random women would really be a healthy thing to pin your self confidence on.

Surely developing confidence should be about yourself and how you conduct yourself in your normal social circles rather than creating artificial scenarios where the result is either 'success' or 'fail'?

Going on the pull is a perfectly acceptible and enjoyable passtime but is that the end goal?

wylo

Magpie! wrote: »

I wouldn't have thought the ability to pull dozens of random women would really be a healthy thing to pin your self confidence on.

Surely developing confidence should be about yourself and how you conduct yourself in your normal social circles rather than creating artificial scenarios where the result is either 'success' or 'fail'?

I couldnt agree more and thats why I lost interest in it. Once your confident in yourself youll be better in every situation, job interview, meeting new people, dealing with customers, etc. But no doubt scoring is an added bonus.

petethebrick

Wibbs wrote: »

It also has cultural baggage as it's mostly aimed at an american model, which in many ways is quite a different culture, especially in the dating arena.

Yeah, I reckon it would work better somewhere like the states too. I reckon most Irish girls would tell a lad to f**k off if they got an inkling he was trying out some internet pick-up malarky- unless they fancied him maybe, which takes the point out of the idea in the first place.

thedizzler

I don't agree that PU necessarily builds confidence. In a lot of cases I find the guys just learn the routines, the "canned material", and regurgitate as necessary. Take those rehearsed stories away and they're no more confident than before.
I used to date a PUA. He was actually at the advanced stage, as in the teaching others stage. We went out for a considerable length of time, even got engaged towards the end. But he was the most incredibly jealous guy I've ever met, and it just got worse, not better, as we got more involved. Rationalising jealousy isn't easy, but one of the explanations proferred at the time suggested that jealousy arises because you think something is going to be taken away(your gf) and you're powerless to stop it. If you're powerless to stop it, you must think you're not good enough to fend off the competition, or maybe even not good enough to stay with. It's an explanation that makes a lot of sense to me, because the guy in question had had some bad experience with women in the past. Why did PU not give him more confidence? In the end, regardless of the fact he said he wanted marriage and kids and all that,he couldn't quit PU. It so totally defined him that he couldn't see a life without it. Now I still wonder: was everything he said to me just game, ie a lie? (In which case, what kind of a muppet am I?) Or, is he so consumed by the game, the competition, the act, that he'll never be able to quit, and he'll never gain real confidence either? (In which case, how muppety is PU?)
*Jerry Springer Musack*
(Sorry kids, got a bit PI there for a moment....I know, this is AH! Yore ma!)

Dave147

Magpie! wrote: »

I wouldn't have thought the ability to pull dozens of random women would really be a healthy thing to pin your self confidence on.

Surely developing confidence should be about yourself and how you conduct yourself in your normal social circles rather than creating artificial scenarios where the result is either 'success' or 'fail'?

Going on the pull is a perfectly acceptible and enjoyable passtime but is that the end goal?

No it's not the 'end goal' but you just answered yourself.. Going on the pull is alot of fun, and PUA would (hopefully) make it more fun and interesting, although I can imagine it would get old very fast. And besides with eyebrows like mine, I haven't a hope of pulling...

Notice how I'm perfectly confident despite that handicap.

Magpie!

Dave147 wrote: »

. And besides with eyebrows like mine, I haven't a hope of pulling...

Notice how I'm perfectly confident despite that handicap.

I'm glad you've accepted it. :rolleyes:

CDfm

Dave147 wrote: »

No it's not the 'end goal' but you just answered yourself.. Going on the pull is alot of fun, and PUA would (hopefully) make it more fun and interesting, although I can imagine it would get old very fast. And besides with eyebrows like mine, I haven't a hope of pulling...

Notice how I'm perfectly confident despite that handicap.

ha ha - they eyebrows stay

do you have a healthy respect for hair on others or do you prefer follicle free frollicking?

shane86

Four pages in and I only have a half clue what yer on about. wtf is a PUA (or, exactly how is it different to lamping beers into yourself and trying to get some)

RoosterIllusion

When you read about the americans doing it I have to say it seems weird but besides the flange you end up getting it most likely does work to make you a more confident person. Hopefully that kind of person is not one who thinks they can get any woman they want to sort of look down on other people.

PUA's are angry men, who have either never been laid except for pities sake, or have decided the whole of womanhood deserves to be punished because someone broke their heart.
The mission is to get one over on a woman, while having a happy sexy time. That is the difference.

Mikel

Moonbaby wrote: »

PUA's are angry men, who have either never been laid except for pities sake, or have decided the whole of womanhood deserves to be punished because someone broke their heart.
The mission is to get one over on a woman, while having a happy sexy time. That is the difference.

That's a sweeping generalisation.
I think Wibbs has made some interesting points above.
I've read some of it myself as I read some psychology books, and it's an interesting insight into women.

Sure there are those geeky guys who like to be given a project to work on and it gives structure to an interaction that they're not comfortable with.
This subject comes up regularly here and it interests me a lot, not from the point of view of picking up women, that doesn't interest me, but when you read some of it a light bulb sometimes goes on in your head.

The typical female comments are along the lines above, that it's a load of crap. But just look at the threads started on PI by guys who can't keep a girlfriend or get stuck in the 'friendzone' and you might see it has some validity.

If for example you read the advice that Wibbs typically gives to the 'friendzone' posts (apologies if I'm being unfair here), but it will be along the lines of:
She doesn't see you as a sexual being
You're trying to get under here radar by acting as a friend.
You're being too needy and clingy.... etc etc

These are exactly the kind of things an 'inner game' guru would say.
They would advise you to act like you are the catch, not to kiss up, not to seek validation, to have a life and have other things to do.
Of course a woman will say 'duh!' to all of these things, but to most guys these go against the grain somewhat.

Of course a one size fits all approach is simplistic, and repeating memorised routines will get you nowhere.

Interestingly, when the subject of 'games' comes up here and with women I've talked to, they ALWAYS say 'oh me and my friends don't do that'.
But they're missing the point.
The fact is that male-female interaction is a game whether you realise it or not.

I always ask them if they've ever not gone out with someone because he's too 'nice' or 'like a brother'. If they've ever dumped someone because he's not enough of a challange or too much of a pushover. Have they ever done something to make a guy jealous, have they ever left a guy dangling or unsure of where he stands?

There are a lot of conscious and subconscious drivers at play. SOME (not all) of this stuff just gives a model for managing these interactions.

As with any model it's simplistic, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have value

Some of it is simple marketing.
Take the case of an attractive woman in a nightclub.
Over the course of the night how many guys will attempt to start a conversation? 10, 20 maybe 50?
In that situation you want to do something that marks you out from the crowd. (how you do that depends on who you read)

The same goes for a woman on the street or in a shop.
Chris Rock does a bit about women being offered d!ck every hour of every day.
So going up to a woman and saying 'you're really pretty, can I buy you a coffee?' won't get you by her defense mechanisms.
So it makes sense to do something different.

Apologies if I've gone on a bit

CDfm

I can get Moonbabys point here- people are social animals and if someone chats you up from a manual its not real.

Kinda insecure to do dont ya all think - whats the point - I can see the attraction it will get you to the starting blocks but it wont win you the race.

But then cool guys dont need to do it - were already cool

wylo

Moonbaby wrote: »

PUA's are angry men, who have either never been laid except for pities sake, or have decided the whole of womanhood deserves to be punished because someone broke their heart.
The mission is to get one over on a woman, while having a happy sexy time. That is the difference.

I think you have the whole thing wrong,

a successful pua will get more sex than anyone we know, they are basically people that used not be able to score for love nor money and did something about it instead of sitting at home playing with palm and her 5 sisters for the rest of his life.

CDfm

yeah but will he be happy and will have a sore thumb from sewing on his own shirt buttons:D

thefinalstage

This whole idea is too damn stupid. Seriously, crappy pick up lines. Fake body language. I would rather go out and enjoy myself to be honest, sounds too much like work!

CDfm

thelastangryman wrote: »

This whole idea is too damn stupid. Seriously, crappy pick up lines. Fake body language. I would rather go out and enjoy myself to be honest, sounds too much like work!

A man with a bottle of Beckam aftershave - can do well.

Women need you - its you or chocolate.

Go forth -you have only 24 hours to save the Planet

suckslikeafox

AQnybody ever read The Game by Neil Austin? (think thats his name anyways) Its about the whole scene and techniques they have. Interesting read but a load of crap imo

ShooterSF

Its Neil Strauss. The Game's not a bad read but don't take it to be the be all and end all of the subject. The guy just happened to be a journalist aswell so he made use of said skills to sell alot of books.

Always loved the subject myself. As a short shy ass who suffered severe oneitis ( blinkered vision for one woman who you analyse every word she says and find ways to think you have a chance with her, which if you HAD you've ruined by acting like a doormat round her ) it has actually helped my confidence.

Now a few pointers for you that scoff and write it off as cheesy chat up lines etc the lines people memorise are meant as stabalisers till they get the confidence to discard them.

The idea is actually to help guys Fake confidence till they make it, which should give them actual confidence. Get the ball rolling and all that.

Since studying the subject I've learned one important thing in life and it's have fun and the rest will look after itself. These days when I meet new people I have the confidence to bust their chops have a bit of craic and if nothing else enjoy my night instead of pining over a girl and trying to cater to her every needs in the hope.....

Just to compare the subject to other life skills if you want to improve on something you have two ways trial and error or shared information from people who already have gone through it.

If you always do the same things, you'll always get the same results.

May I suggest anyone who's interested in the subject but don't want to learn routines and such to find some of David DeAngelo's cocky comedy material. It's much less robotic and actually pretty funny.

CDfm

What are some of the cheesier lines?

What everyone wants to Know did ya? you know what I mean - get laid thru it.;)

What Moonbaby wants is for you to feel all dirty and cheap like the male slut you are:p

bluepoma

just moved to dublin and looking for a wing to hang out in dublin scene. any wings out there who understands the gaming theory and ready to dive around with me?

poma