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Ask The Oracle

  • 27-08-2008 4:20am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,909 ✭✭✭✭


    http://www.askoracle.net/index.php
    You asked:
    Is Xavi the best midfielder in the world?

    The Oracle replied:
    Absotively posilutely.

    Well we already knew that one.......
    You asked:
    Will Liverpool win the Premiership this year?

    The Oracle replied:
    If I’ve ever been sure of anything, this is it. However, you must keep in mind that occasionally my answers are nonsense.

    :D
    You asked:
    Will I ever see City win a trophy?

    The Oracle replied:
    I bet my ass you will.
    You asked:
    Will Ireland qualify for the 2010 World Cup?

    The Oracle replied:
    Very likely.

    :eek:
    You asked:
    Will Cristiano Ronaldo go to Real Madrid next summer?

    The Oracle replied:
    If I’ve ever been sure of anything, this is it.
    You asked:
    Will Des become a fan of Sundireland?

    The Oracle replied:
    Very, very likely. This is sensitive information and you must keep it to yourself. Got it?

    Shit sorry Des, I let the cat out of the bag!


    So there you have it folks, all life's mysteries solved in one foul swoop!


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,391 ✭✭✭One Cold Hand


    You asked:
    Will Liverpool buy Gareth Barry?

    The Oracle replied:
    The answer is ’yes’ if you believe it is.
    You asked:
    Will Villa keep GB?

    The Oracle replied:
    I just contacted the gods and they said yes.

    Conflicting answers there Oracle! Thanks for not clearing anything up!
    You asked:
    Will Mr. Alan survive if he goes into the Holte End next weekend in a Liverpool shirt?

    The Oracle replied:
    No chance.

    Might be a bad idea Al!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,008 ✭✭✭delija_sever029


    You asked:
    Will Red Star become european champion this year?
    The Oracle replied:
    Naturally!


    Now get lost everyone:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,942 ✭✭✭missingtime


    Capture1.png

    I like this progam.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,008 ✭✭✭delija_sever029


    You asked:

    Should i kill myself?

    The Oracle replied:

    Yes, without doubt or fear!


    :pac::D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,942 ✭✭✭missingtime


    :pac::D

    0_o

    Hmmmm....i see a flaw


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,685 ✭✭✭Tom65


    You asked:

    Weren’t you proven to be merely an fissure emitting noxious gasses?
    The Oracle replied:

    I speak only English, not Ancient Yatvingian or Manichaean Middle Persian.


    Touché, Oracle.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    You asked:
    Will Riera will an excellent player for Liverpool Football Club?

    The Oracle replied:
    Looks bad. Don’t push your luck.


    Ouch!!! A few people won't be happy with this??
    You asked:
    Will Mr. Alan and Fernando Torres get married and live happily ever after?


    The Oracle replied:
    Very likely

    Al keep your chin up..... :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    You asked:
    Will you have sex with me?

    The Oracle replied:
    Yes! Now? Here?


    :eek: OMG! Everyone leave the thread please, I need some alone time with the Oracle.... ¬_¬


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,983 ✭✭✭leninbenjamin


    You asked:
    Has Arsene Wenger lost it?

    The Oracle replied:
    In theory, yes. In practise, no.
    You asked:
    Will Arsenal win the premier league this year?

    The Oracle replied:
    Yes, unless you screw things up.
    You asked:
    How could I screw things up?

    The Oracle replied:
    With limitless cash.
    You asked:
    But isn’t having money a good thing?

    The Oracle replied:
    Hmm yes.
    You asked:
    So why would things screw up?

    The Oracle replied:
    Yes.
    You asked:
    That answer makes no sense.

    The Oracle replied:
    Let’s do something else. Are you dating someone?
    You asked:
    It depends.

    The Oracle replied:
    Ok.
    You asked:
    If i weren’t dating someone what would you do?

    The Oracle replied:
    Don’t even think about it. It’ll be a disaster.
    You asked:
    But you started it

    The Oracle replied:
    I don’t see what you mean.
    You asked:
    You’re not a very good oracle are you?

    The Oracle replied:
    Please don’t focus on me. You have more important things in your life than me.
    You asked:
    Like what?

    The Oracle replied:
    Beauty and love.
    You asked:
    Why is beauty more important than football?

    The Oracle replied:
    It is this way the world was designed to be. However, you must keep in mind that occasionally my answers are nonsense.
    You asked:
    So you are just talking **** then?

    The Oracle replied:
    Yes.

    lol, that program's pretty fun.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    lol, that program's pretty fun.
    What a slut! :eek:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,983 ✭✭✭leninbenjamin


    Dave! wrote: »
    What a slut! :eek:

    that's personal abuse. :mad:
    You asked:
    What shall we do to punish dave?

    The Oracle replied:
    Go on a date.

    ...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    That'll do it :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,013 ✭✭✭yayamark


    You asked:
    Are Liverpool going to win the premiership this season?


    The Oracle replied:
    Naturally!


    Oh youuuuuuuuu beautyyyyyyyyyyy :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,224 ✭✭✭✭SantryRed


    You asked:
    Will Shels win promotion this year?


    The Oracle replied:
    If we were to bet on it, I’d say ’yes’.

    Better be true:D

    You asked:
    Will Dundalk bottle it?


    The Oracle replied:
    After the most thorough investigation I can answer with confidence: maybe.

    Great. Optimism:D

    You asked:
    Will Watford win promotion this year?


    The Oracle replied:
    If you ask me - as many people do - I say no.
    :(


    You asked:
    Will Watford be relegated this year?


    The Oracle replied:
    No, but thinks look bright nevertheless.

    Phewwwww!


    Thought this one was a gem.

    You asked:
    Who will win the Premiership?


    The Oracle replied:
    The Olsen Twins


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,709 ✭✭✭BolBill


    What WAS unusual about the goals scored in the 1986 World Cup Final. I only ask because the Sports Trivia forum is drivel.....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45,630 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Nice Guy


    You asked:
    Who will finish top scorer in the Premiership?

    The Oracle replied:
    Nicole Kidman
    You asked:
    Why does the Irish team mess up so often?

    The Oracle replied:
    Religious fanticism is behind this tragedy.
    You asked:
    Is Brian Kerr on the level?

    The Oracle replied:
    After the most thorough investigation I can answer with confidence: maybe.
    You asked:
    Can Man United retain the European Cup?

    The Oracle replied:
    Yes, definitely
    You asked:
    Eamon Dunphy - genius or nutcase?

    The Oracle replied:
    The first one seems better.
    You asked:
    Will Trap be better than Staunton was?

    The Oracle replied:
    Sure!
    You asked:
    When will Ireland win the World Cup?

    The Oracle replied:
    That will never happen. Revealing this information to others might jeopardize national security. Keep it to yourself.
    You asked:
    Who’s hotter - Gabby Logan or Bill O’Herlihy?

    The Oracle replied:
    The latter one seems better.
    You asked:
    Will Cristiano Ronaldo be at Real Madrid next season?

    The Oracle replied:
    Not in my lifetime. And I am going to live long.

    :eek:
    You asked:
    Will Andy Reid ever get in shape?

    The Oracle replied:
    This matter is entirely up to you.
    You asked:
    How is it up to me?

    The Oracle replied:
    With patience.
    You asked:
    Are you talking out of your arse, lady?

    The Oracle replied:
    Not any longer. I used to be.
    You asked:
    Seems like you’ve had a difficult time of things.

    The Oracle replied:
    I can’t catch your train of thought.
    You asked:
    Maybe you’d catch it over a coffee? Shall we say this weekend?

    The Oracle replied:
    I don’t understand.
    You asked:
    Listen if you don’t want to go out with me just say so.

    The Oracle replied:
    *Smiles and nods*
    You asked:
    Well **** you then!

    The Oracle replied:
    Pithecanthropic pickpocket! Weevil! Hooligan!

    Shot down lads. :(

    Great site by the way. Love it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,942 ✭✭✭missingtime


    Capture_2.png

    I vote we make the Oracle the soccer mod.

    Capture_3.png

    Definately soccer mod material :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 787 ✭✭✭bUILDERtHEbOB


    You asked: Will Galway United get relegated this season?
    The Oracle replied: This matter is entirely up to you.

    :eek:
    You asked: Who will be Rafa’s next signing?
    The Oracle replied: Heidi Klum

    :cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,999 ✭✭✭✭eagle eye


    You asked: Is Tottenham Hotspur really a feeder club for the big four disguising themselves as a team building for the future?
    The Oracle replied: Are you a Spurs fan? Because if you are YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
    ;)

    You asked: Is Tottenham Hotspur really a feeder club for the big four disguising themselves as a team building for the future?
    The Oracle replied: Like a Greek statue.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    http://www.askoracle.net/index.php



    Well we already knew that one.......


    Sorry to dissapoint:


    You asked:
    Is Xavi the best midfielder in the world?


    The Oracle replied:
    I just contacted the gods and they said no.




    It's all clearly bollox anyway: :D




    You asked:
    Is Xavi6 the best midfielder in the world


    The Oracle replied:
    After the most thorough investigation I can answer with confidence: maybe.



    More bad news for you:

    You asked:
    Is Xavi6 the best midfielder on boards


    The Oracle replied:
    I just contacted the gods and they said no.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,871 ✭✭✭Karmafaerie


    You asked:

    How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?



    The Oracle replied:

    Not much at all.


    You asked:

    How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck norris



    The Oracle replied:

    All of it.



    :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,493 ✭✭✭eddiehead


    You asked:
    Will chelsea sign Robinho?


    The Oracle replied:
    Naturally!

    You asked:
    How much will they sign him for?


    The Oracle replied:
    Tons! Don’t share this with others. It is highly confidential.

    You asked:
    Will Chelsea win the league?


    The Oracle replied:
    This is a tough one. But even with all the uncertainties involved, I’d say yes. Your mother just came on-line, be careful what you ask.


    You asked:
    Why are you so concerned about my ma?


    The Oracle replied:
    Although you do not understand this yet, it is all for the best. Trust me. :-)

    You asked:
    Will Ronaldo ever just p1ss off to spain?


    The Oracle replied:
    Sure!


    You asked:
    When he leaves can I have his girlfriend?


    The Oracle replied:
    I’m sure it’ll happen before Christmas.


    You asked:
    So Ronaldos missus....wud ya?


    The Oracle replied:
    Yes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,909 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    You asked:
    How bad is Robbie Keane?

    The Oracle replied:
    76%, which is good enough for me at least. I hope it’s enough for you, too. I hope you’re not shocked by this.

    I am shocked, I expected it to be higher.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    You asked:
    When Fergie finally retires, who should Man Utd hire as manager?


    The Oracle replied:
    That will never happen.

    At last we have proof - Sir Alex Ferguson is immortal!! :D:D

    Love this site :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,247 ✭✭✭ROCKMAN


    You asked:
    Who will be happier after the 13th of Sept , Mr Alan or Rockman ?


    The Oracle replied:
    We discussed this in an International Oracle’s conference. The vote ruled on the latter one, although personally I disagreed.


    Proof that shows the Oracle himself is a bit crazy, BUT his fellow workmates are a sound group of lads and lasses ,who know their stuff .You could not meet a nicer lot . :D:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,709 ✭✭✭BolBill


    This is a stupid f-ing thread.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,909 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    BolBill wrote: »
    This is a stupid f-ing thread.

    Awww did the Oracle not give you the answer you wanted?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,247 ✭✭✭ROCKMAN


    You asked:
    Is this a stupid f**king thread ?


    The Oracle replied:
    Unfortunately I must disappoint you.


    :D:D


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