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Thursday Quickies

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  • 28-08-2008 9:42am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    A guy, doing his first parachute jump, throws himself out of the plane.

    A couple of thousand metres later, he tries to pull the ripcord...... nothing.

    Pulls the reserve...... nothing.

    All of a sudden, he sees a bloke coming up from the ground towards him.

    As they pass, he says, "HEY, know anything about parachutes?"

    "NO," the geezer replies, "KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GAS COOKERS?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I saw a charity appeal in the Paper the other day, and it read

    "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water".

    And I couldn't help thinking, she should move house...

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Heard about the new shampoo for Pikeys?

    It's called Go and Wash

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A woman was chucked off Who wants to be a millionaire last week for masturbating.

    I don't think she quite understood fastest finger first.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    An elderly couple was sitting at the kitchen table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.

    “You know” she said,

    “We were sitting in this very kitchen across from each other 50 years ago.”

    “Yep” he said, “But we were probably naked.”

    “So let’s get naked now!” she suggested.

    So they both took off all their clothes and sat across from each other.

    “You know” she said with a horny grin

    “My boobs feel just as hot for you today as they felt 50 years ago.”

    He replied

    “I’m sure they do.

    One is in your coffee and the other one is in your oatmeal!”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I bought some drugs on the internet that they say make you live forever.






    So far so good...


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