House Party Anyone?

fakearms123

Feeling a bit nostalgic today, started looking back on the string of house parties I attended in my day. I remember one house party distinctly, there was a warm, tranquil, spring breeze from the east with a mist in the air that left the tips of my ears moist and glistening. My clothes were faded and dark like the plastic debris washed up on the stone beaches of Galway..... eh yeah probably a bit too nostalgic! Anyway where was I, well this particular house party was fecking mental. We walked into the house, all 6 of us, greeted at the door by the girl who owned the house who without a hint of sanity on the poor girl instructed us to destroy her house!? or in her words "listen lads my mum is a b*tch and i dont give two polish f*cks what you do to this house, so work away!"
Yeah so there was 6 of us, already pretty drunk and with unintentional urges to vandalise. Little demons inside our heads that we had planned to store away for the night out of respect for this strangers house were released by invitation. The house was packed with more than 50 people at this stage. So it all started out pretty slow, first we were in the kitchen putting mayo in the toaster and taking beer and putting it into the oven and putting the heat on.
One of my friends had urinated in the closet all over the coats and hoover. My other friend was urinating from the top of the stairs down onto the telephone in the hallway. People were dancing in high heels on the kitchen table destroying it. Tossing glass bottle against the walls. Me and a friend ran into the mothers room bouncing on the bed, it obviously couldn't hold our weight and broke inwards, I jumped and clinged onto the wardrobe that fell down crushing the side lamp up against the wall. My friend finding vagina cream under the mothers pillow smeared in all over the wall.
The night continued, pouring milk into every crevasse of the house, super glue crackers to walls, rubbing melted chocolate onto all the underwear in the house, animal p*rn on the computer left as screensaver, condoms found in wardrobe were put on all fruit in the kitchen....
Woke up the next day with a knife in my pocket and the 3 of spades in my hand. I feel guilty about the mess looking back but has anyone else ever caused destruction at house parties?

hottstuff

What!!....nobody took a sh!t on the carpet ? .........:eek:

Ass

Jesus, all that for being a bitch? There's a couple of grands worth of damage there. That was a rather scumbagish thing to do and you should be ashamed.

Agamemnon

fakearms123 wrote: »

We walked into the house, all 6 of us, greeted at the door by the girl who owned the house who without a hint of sanity on the poor girl instructed us to destroy her house!? or in her words "listen lads my mum is a b*tch and i dont give two poslih f*cks what you do to this house, so work away!"

I'll bet that wasn't her mother's house - she was just a psycho looking for a wrecking crew. She probably ran off with the jewellery and cash while ye were trashing the place.

Smart Bug

fakearms123 wrote: »

Feeling a bit nostalgic today, started looking back on the string of house parties I attended in my day. I remember one house party distinctly, ...quote]


You sir, are my hero.

Sarah**

My friends older sister had a party one week when the folks were away, i was about 17 so there was me and my friends in the kitchen. Randomers all over the gaf, sh1t being thrown around when next of all music went off and i just hear a roar of an engine....thats right some bloke drove his motorcycle straight into the hall and through the partition wall between the sitting room and hall. The curtains were the set on fire and blokes were pi55ing on them trying to put it out!! I went home with the knowledge that surely i must be an angel child compared to her!!

fakearms123

I know I feel pretty bad, its been 5 years since then and the girl who owned the house is currently a big coke head. I have no excuses, when you have 50 or so people doing crazy stuff you tend you drift along with them in a drunken haze im afraid. I said sorry to the girl the next day before we left but she said it was grand and it will be something to show the folks when they get home, crazy!

Miss Fluff

You sound like a gormless gobsh1te to be honest. Karma is a great thing, really hope someone sh1ts on a prized possession of yours soon, it's coming to you.

_feedback_

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You sound like a gormless gobsh1te to be honest. Karma is a great thing, really hope someone sh1ts on a prized possession of yours soon, it's coming to you.

Hope you don't get banned for that, cos they are very true words!

Turd Ferguson

I have cause many moment at parties, but a guy I was working with before had the ultimate one. The house he was living in was being demolished and he was the last person to live there and the landlord said he could do whatever the hell he wanted before he left.
So he had a massive house party which involved smashing windows and toilets, ripping rads off the walls and setting sh!t on fire. I wish I knew the guy at the time cos it sounded awesome. Something like that would be the ultimate party.

phasers

You sound like a wuss. If a house party story doesn't end with "and then the house burned down", you aren't doing it right.

Itsdacraic

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I have cause many moment at parties, but a guy I was working with before had the ultimate one. The house he was living in was being demolished and he was the last person to live there and the landlord said he could do whatever the hell he wanted before he left.
So he had a massive house party which involved smashing windows and toilets, ripping rads off the walls and setting sh!t on fire. I wish I knew the guy at the time cos it sounded awesome. Something like that would be the ultimate party.

Ya i can't think of anything better to do, ever.

fakearms123

oh trust me karma has come back to me after that, and took a sh*t on a number of my possessions, but since we're being honest Miss Fluff you sound like the judgemental hapless gobsh*te here, I was very young, and taking into account that I had small involvement in the destruction

Zangetsu

I managed to shatter a collar bone fighting over a mop at a party a couple of years back... Never really healed properly but twas hilarious. Thought it was dislocated so I got 2 people to try pop it back in, after 20 mins of screaming and laughing (I had a full bottle of jack in me at this stage) they rang my brother to bring me to the hospital.

Nurse laughed when I told her it was just popped, the xray looked like an alien crash site


Anyone here ever play hide the poo btw?

Kiera

fakearms123 wrote: »

oh trust me karma has come back to me after that, and took a sh*t on a number of my possessions, but since we're being honest Miss Fluff you sound like the judgemental hapless gobsh*te here, I was very young, and taking into account that I had small involvement in the destruction

OI now buddy. Easy up on that crap. There's no need!

chin_grin

TOGA TOGA TOGA!

iamnothim

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I have cause many moment at parties, but a guy I was working with before had the ultimate one. The house he was living in was being demolished and he was the last person to live there and the landlord said he could do whatever the hell he wanted before he left.
So he had a massive house party which involved smashing windows and toilets, ripping rads off the walls and setting sh!t on fire. I wish I knew the guy at the time cos it sounded awesome. Something like that would be the ultimate party.

Yeah, I was at one of those before. Awesome night in old place in the city centre. We were ripping plasterboard off the walls and throwing it out the 4th story windows. Mental stuff!

shenanigans1982

I thought this thread was an invite...I had the neighbours alarm and the dog ready in the hope we could creat some noise pollution.

FruitLover

Kiera wrote: »

OI now buddy. Easy up on that crap. There's no need!

Go on out of that mod backseat.

Turd Ferguson

FruitLover wrote: »

Go on out of that mod backseat.

If she's in the backseat...who the fuck is driving?!

Kiera

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

If she's in the backseat...who the fuck is driving?!

haha

He was being a dick. Thats not nice!

javaboy

OP I reckon this thread means you might not be getting an invite to the next beers.

Terry

fakearms123 wrote: »

oh trust me karma has come back to me after that, and took a sh*t on a number of my possessions, but since we're being honest Miss Fluff you sound like the judgemental hapless gobsh*te here, I was very young, and taking into account that I had small involvement in the destruction

Infraction given.

Clare Bear

Jaysus, that sounds mental! The poor woman when she came home though :eek: I don't care if she was a bitch or not, that's bang out of order. I blame the girl though, not the OP. They got an invitation to destroy, what young fella isn't going to say yes to that?! Still though, lousy on that woman.

Quazzie

I was at a house party once in the city centre and it was one of these terrace bungalows with an attic conversation and a balcony out off it. We were out on the balcony drunk when we realized we could get up to the chimney. We went straight up and lean against it and the top of it was loose and it fell off into the next doors yard. That gave us the taste and giddiness of destruction and we emptied two packs of washing powder into the main water tank and locked her small dog into a glass cabinet and then broke the key so she'd have to break the glass to get him out. We did other stuff but they were the creative ones

Fringe

We like to play the upside down game every now and then where we turn everything in the house that isn't valuable upside down. It's fun!

bluto63

Guy in my class from school had a party in his when we graduated and invited the whole year up. Kept everyone in his back garden but after a few drinks people got rowdy and started destroyin the garden. The trampoline was wrecked, a gazebo was kicked in, windows were smashed. I wasn't doin anythin, I was just watching and laughing. He had to call the guards and we all had to leg it out the back onto the dart tracks where they were waitin for us. They didn't do anythin and let us off, but his garden was completely ruined.
The part I find the most idiotic is that the exact same thing happened 2 years before to him. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson...

Thomas_S_Hunterson

bluto63 wrote: »

The part I find the most idiotic is that the exact same thing happened 2 years before to him. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson...

Ah different house though;)

shenanigans1982

bluto63 wrote: »

Guy in my class from school had a party in his when we graduated and invited the whole year up. Kept everyone in his back garden but after a few drinks people got rowdy and started destroyin the garden. The trampoline was wrecked, a gazebo was kicked in, windows were smashed. I wasn't doin anythin, I was just watching and laughing. He had to call the guards and we all had to leg it out the back onto the dart tracks where they were waitin for us. They didn't do anythin and let us off, but his garden was completely ruined.
The part I find the most idiotic is that the exact same thing happened 2 years before to him. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson...

This seems pretty common, happened at my OH's debs, went back to a house afterwards and people just started smashing it up. Eventually the guy call the guards and they threw everyone out.

Billy Bi Polar

I used to wonder why my mother got upset over us jumping on the couch and then one day I bought one and understood.

Fad

I heard an amusing stories last year from guys in my year, the weirdest where putting fish in a sauna and drinking a goldfish.

The one with the sauna had another party a month later, after her house being left in absolute ruins She completely deserved whatever she got.