hen egg

lorweld · 28-08-2008 8:26pm #1

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep.He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his
bedwearing a long flowing white Robe.

'Who the hell are you?' demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing
in my bedroom?'

The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter.'

Dave was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so
much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to
send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from
his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he
was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange
feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new
hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?'

'It's not so bad' replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before?'

' Never!' replies Dave.

'Well just relax and let it happen'

So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg
pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over
him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of
happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen
was the best
thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third
egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting...

'Dave, wake up you drunken b*stard, you've sh*t in the bed