Sunday Quickies

rocky25

This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night.

The preacher faces the camera, and announces,

"My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program.

Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you."

The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach.

Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.

With a frown his wife says,

"Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.

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What's the difference between a circus and Old Trafford?

One is a cunning array of stunts......
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Madness are releasing a single for Hurricane Gustav parties.

It's called "Our street, in the middle of our house".

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With all the spam we get for penis-enlargement pills,

you'd think by now someone would have invented a pill to shrink vaginas instead.

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I wonder if the person who invented vibrators was ever inspired by ghostly voices chanting

'If you build it.. they will come.'

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Two old ladies meet up outside a cafe. One asks the other,

"did you come on the bus?"

"Yes, dear," replies the other one,

"but I made it look like an asthma attack."

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Just waiting for the new babysitter to get here...

...the absence of a baby will be only her second biggest shock of the night.

kmart6

Love em!:)