Honest Question

LegacyUser

Hi I want to ask people an honest question here. I've identified myself as bisexual. I've been sexually attracted to both genders since 12 or 13. I've had sexual relationships with both genders over the years. My question is if you are gay and a man for instance could you physically have sex with a woman? Or put it another way if you were straight could you physically have sex with another guy? (not that either of you would want to of course) but I'm just thinking specifically if you were a gay man and not out could you have sex with a woman and/or develop a relationship with her just as a pretence to cover up your true sexuality?


I can't answer this question because I can physically find both sexes attractive.

I hope what I'm trying to ask makes sense to people. Also I apologise for using labels (gay, straight, bi) but it's the only way I can ask the question.

Boston

It happens. Sure I can think of at least one example of a gay man with kids.

MicraBoy

It's 100% certain it happens in all possible combinations.

Gay guys/girls have same sex relationships and encounters before they come out and never go back once they do come.

Some gay people continue this into marraige and kids for there entire life.

Some straight people have gay encounters and relationships and then never go back to it.

Then there are others like you and me who do both and settle into the bi category.

I think sexuality is fluid and not something you can stick a pin in to mark its exact coordinates. The best you hope for is to get the pin in the general zone.

LegacyUser

I was under the impression that if a person is homosexual that person would not be able to maintain a hetro sexual relationship at all and vice versa. I mean if a man for example is gay and not bi then surely the physical act of having sex with a woman would be next to impossible. There has to be some bit of physical attraction to get aroused and if a man is gay surely he could not get sexually aroused by a woman?

The reason I ask this whole question is that I have a mate who is 27 and a virgin. We all hang around together and have since primary. He has kissed girls but has never had a relationship. None of us mention it to him so he doesn't feel any pressure from any of his mates but my take on it is he has to be gay. He has had opportunities to score girls but hasn't slept with one yet. He's a decent looking guy and intelligent. I cant honestly see any other reason and it nothing to do with wanting to wait until he meets the right one and he's not religious either.

Any opinions? Also a gay guy said to me once that you can easily spot if a man is homosexual by seeing if he makes eye contact with you or another guy for longer than 2 seconds .Basically a if a guy looks at another guy for longer than a couple seconds he's either into him or looking to fight him. Would people agree with this? It kinda makes sense to me.

Weidii

Well I guess if you're totally in denial of your sexuality (if you're gay) then it's better to have a bit of experience with the opposite gender than no experience at all.

Mocrie14

In my opinion a gay guy is always capable of having sex with a woman and will always find a sexy woman attractive - they just prefare men. However I dont think there are too many straight guys who could/would have sex with another guy.

futura123

i had sex with a straight man who was curious

Boston

111 wrote: »

I was under the impression that if a person is homosexual that person would not be able to maintain a hetro sexual relationship at all and vice versa. I mean if a man for example is gay and not bi then surely the physical act of having sex with a woman would be next to impossible. There has to be some bit of physical attraction to get aroused and if a man is gay surely he could not get sexually aroused by a woman?

It's not a binary thing like that.

The reason I ask this whole question is that I have a mate who is 27 and a virgin. We all hang around together and have since primary. He has kissed girls but has never had a relationship. None of us mention it to him so he doesn't feel any pressure from any of his mates but my take on it is he has to be gay. He has had opportunities to score girls but hasn't slept with one yet. He's a decent looking guy and intelligent. I cant honestly see any other reason and it nothing to do with wanting to wait until he meets the right one and he's not religious either.

Meh, maybe, who knows.

Any opinions? Also a gay guy said to me once that you can easily spot if a man is homosexual by seeing if he makes eye contact with you or another guy for longer than 2 seconds .Basically a if a guy looks at another guy for longer than a couple seconds he's either into him or looking to fight him. Would people agree with this? It kinda makes sense to me.

Are you saying you don't make eye contact when having a conversation with someone? How someone looks at you can be a indicator of attraction, the fact that they're making eye contact means nothing in and of itself.

rover84

111 wrote: »

The reason I ask this whole question is that I have a mate who is 27 and a virgin. We all hang around together and have since primary. He has kissed girls but has never had a relationship. None of us mention it to him so he doesn't feel any pressure from any of his mates but my take on it is he has to be gay.

I know people like this and I doubt very much that theyre gay, it could just be a situation where they are very inconfident in themselves and just arent comfortable in approaching women, or if they do approach a woman they dont know how to further the relationship

111 wrote: »

.Basically a if a guy looks at another guy for longer than a couple seconds he's either into him or looking to fight him. Would people agree with this? It kinda makes sense to me.

Sounds like pure rubbish to me.Just because a guy looks takes a longer look at a guy than usual does not mean hes gay at all

claire h

Not being attracted to women (or more precisely not being obviously attracted to women) =/= being attracted to men.

jaffa20

I can appreciate the beauty of the feminine body but i would not be sexually aroused by it. I'd say the same goes for straight guys who see other guys but they would be less like to admit it. I though if you were sexually aroused by both genders then you were bi, not gay. It goes without saying, right

Boston

Some define their sexuality based on the gender they are most consistently attracted to, while other base it on ability to form an emotional attraction. Its not clear cut.

LegacyUser

Are you saying you don't make eye contact when having a conversation with someone? How someone looks at you can be a indicator of attraction, the fact that they're making eye contact means nothing in and of itself.[/QUOTE]

No I wasnt referring to conversation situations. I wasnt clear.
I was specifically referring to a situation where say a gay/bi guy is walking down a street and spots another guy whom he finds attractive or a gay/bi guy is sitting amongst friends in a pub and his eyes are fixed across the pub at another guy he doesnt know.
I mean in these situations I cant see why any male would look at another male he doesnt know longer than 2/3 seconds unless he fancies or wants to fight him.

And Rover84 this mate of mine does not lack confidence at all. Thats why I'm so at odds as to why he is still a virgin, he's not a dog, has the brains and the personality and like I've said he has had opportunity to shag women but for whatever reason hasnt.
The only reason I can come up with is that he is gay. Thats why I ask the question can a gay man physically have sex with a woman? Can he get sexually aroused by a woman? I presume he cant.

Also the eye contact thing, I'm putting that out to get peoples opinion, It has been said to me that if you watch where a persons eyes are moving when strangers are around you will get a true understanding of where their sexual preferences lie.

AckwelFoley

111 wrote: »

Hi I want to ask people an honest question here. I've identified myself as bisexual. I've been sexually attracted to both genders since 12 or 13. I've had sexual relationships with both genders over the years. My question is if you are gay and a man for instance could you physically have sex with a woman? Or put it another way if you were straight could you physically have sex with another guy?

It happens all the time.

Prison for example. I was talking to a warden in the US in the New England area and he told me that men get raped by straight men all the time and many have "girlfriends".

Seemingly while in prison its not considered to be a homosexual act to have a same sex partner while in prison.

LegacyUser

Strongly agree with the OP with regard to the eye contact.

I have seen guys in the past hold eye contact with me for more than 2 seconds and it has ALWAYS turned out that they were into me.