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Friday Quickies

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  • 05-09-2008 12:54am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    I missed a Jehovah's Witness at the front door this morning, which was really odd

    as I thought I had a clear shot

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me and my wife achieved simultaneous orgasms last night.

    Unfortunately she was in bed with her lover and I was hiding in the wardrobe.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I've not been having much luck with the ladies lately.

    This week I've already had two pick me out of the line up!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    My therapist says that I've got a preoccupation with vengeance;

    we'll see about that...

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    It was only after the evacuation of New Orleans by 200,000 Americans that they

    realised why it was below sea-level in the first place.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Barack Obama said in his speech last week, "God loves America."

    Well, God may love America, but he f*cking hates New Orleans.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Michael Phelps should do even better in the 2012 Olympics,

    seeing as he'll soon have the whole of New Orleans to practice in.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    With Hurricanes approaching one million people are fleeing New Orleans.

    They know there's nothing worth staying to loot this time.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hurricane Gustav is threatening to disrupt oil and gas production in America.

    The residents in New Orleans are fleeing in panic.

    The Iranians should be a bit nervous too.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    New Orleans....

    Only the french would be stupid enough to build a city below sea level...

    Only Americans would be stupid enough to live in it!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers,went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses .

    When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

    The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

    Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'privates' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

    As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.

    Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said,

    'You must be in the 5th grade.'

    'No, ma'am', he replied.

    'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race.

    But I appreciate your help.'

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Parachute game…see how you score,

    http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf

    ~~~~~~~~~~~

    Goldilocks…updated version. NSFW

    http://www.dailymotion.com/playlist/xe7fm_anveja_funny/video/x4mq6s_bedtime-stories-goldilocks_fun


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