Friday Quickies 2

rocky25

A guy walks into a Dentist’s office.

Dentist asks the guy what is the problem.

Guy says,

"I'm a moth."

Dentist says,

"You're a moth?"

Guys say,

"Yes! I'm a moth.

I act like a moth.

I think like a moth.

I'm a moth!"

Dentist says,

"Sir, I think you want the psychiatrist’s office.

He's two doors further down the hall."

Guy says,

"I know. I was on my way there,

but your light was on."

~~~~~~~~~~

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A frantic young woman rushed into Abe's Able Dry Cleaners and said to the man behind the counter,

"Listen, I've got a terrible problem.

I spilled ketchup on this dress, and I need it cleaned in two hours.

Can you do it?"

"Sure," said the owner,

"but tell me, why is there a hamburger emblem on the dress?"

"Well, you see," she replied,

"a fast-food chain elected me Burger Queen of 2002.

1 have to wear that dress at my crowning ceremony in two hours.

That's why I'm in a rush.

Can you deliver it to me, Michelle Getty, at this address?"

She handed him a card.

"OK, I'll take care of it," he said.

As soon as the young woman left, Abe went to work on the dress.

In an hour and a half, he was finished.

As he was going out the door, one of his employees stopped him and asked how to clean a certain fabric.

"I can't talk now," Abe shouted.

"I have to deliver the Getty's burger-dress."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, David Wills ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program.

He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions
and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.

That kind of notoriety was enough to get him
fired.

He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job.

One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.

Wills wrote,

"The climate didn't agree with me."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Problems with my laptop required calling the dreaded company help line.

The service rep, based in another country, did not speak English very well.
So I tried to explain it as simply as possible:

"I can't get the computer to work."

"Ah, I see," he responded.

"You are unable to transport your computer to your place of employment."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to a child psychiatrist once.

It somehow didn't seem right discussing my problems with a seven year old