no karen millen or coast at weddings?

enda1

Clare Bear wrote: »

If I saw the no Coast or Karen Millen Dress on the invite it would probably make me want to wear one of those dresses to the wedding even more so....and I would!

So would I and I'm a guy!!

Was at a French wedding in the South of France there a few weeks ago. Because we were travelling from the other end of the country, the bride and groom paid for a room for us for the night + the wedding was the best I've ever been to for food, drink, fun and plain and simple happiness. And it was full of children too which in my opinion are one of the most important attributes to a wedding. The contrast between the grannys and babies is very important (especially when they start dancing together!).

Clare Bear

miles teg wrote: »

Would it be bad if the couple gave option of charity donation, travel voucher or cash? I'd prefer to give cash than go shopping for something useless... people already have everything these days.

Yes but that's the point, it should be your choice if you want to give money or not, you shouldn't be forced to.

JaneyMc

Clare Bear wrote: »

Girls (and let's face it, it's mainly the women!) are forgetting what a wedding is all about. Everyone's turning in to big Diva's when they get married now, it's really sad. It's actually put me off ever wanting a big wedding, it won't be good enough anyway probably. I'm gonna feck off to an island somewhere and leave all that crap behind me.

Yeah, same here!! No big white wedding for me at all, very small in some tropical island somewhere with my close friends and family.

I tend to not follow the crowd with most things, and the idea of having a wedding just like everyone elses and paying an incredible amount for the pleasure, just ain't me.
I think the commercialism is ridiculous and I'd feel like a fool for spending that much money on one day.

jasonb

Anyone you invite to your wedding should be allowed to wear what they want ( assuming it's not a big white wedding dress, that might clash! ). If the Bridesmaids are wearing a particular dress that you don't want anyone else to wear, I'd let people know over the phone. Even if someone does turn up wearing the same style of dress as a bridesmaid, you'll be able to tell the Bridesmaids apart from them, as the bridesmaids sit at the top table!

As for 'Cash only presents', I think that's very rude. Myself and my fiancée have invited people as our guests to share our day with us. While we understand we will get some presents ( and we already have, both money and gifts ) we don't expect anything from our guests, other than to be there if they can and enjoy the day with us! They're our friends and family, they don't owe us anything.

I think telling someone what not to wear, or what presents to give, is just rude.

J.

kizzyr

[QUOTE=JaneyMc;57284762]Ok, when I first read the no coast or karen millen dresses, I thought it was ridiculous, but I can sort of understand were the brides are coming from.
There are better ways of going about it though! I would not put it on my wedding invite. I would rather ring every guest (even if the numbers were in the hundred's) and casually drop it into conversation.

If I seen the "cash only" thing on an invite, I would be disgusted and would seriously consider whether or not to bother my arse going.[/QUOTE]


Why the hell should any bride give a damn about what another woman wears to her wedding? So what if it happens to be the same dress as another woman / bridesmaid, honestly if that is the worst thing that happens they'll be doing well.
As others have said if I got an invite with you must/ must not wear a,b,c I'd either refuse to go to the wedding or go head to toe in Karen Millen and Coast just to be contrary and find the ugliest piece of china I could get my hands on and give that as a gift.

JaneyMc

I said SORT of. The wedding album pictures would be a bit silly if you had a picture with 3 women from the same family in the same dress.
It's not something I would do anyway.

kizzyr

JaneyMc wrote: »

I said SORT of. The wedding album pictures would be a bit silly if you had a picture with 3 women from the same family in the same dress.
It's not something I would do anyway.

I wasn't having a go at you, not for a second:) Over the last few years weddings have become more and more vulgar in my opinion. They have become less about the celebration of two people choosing to do something important to them and a desire to share the occasion with those they love and care about and more about the money, glitz and glamour. I've found it all very off putting and this latest stunt of money only, nothing less that €150.00 and please don't shop in X,Y, Z is just a bridge too far for me.
I think if you can count on two hands the people you really love and care about, people who really matter to you, then they are the only ones who should be invited. The others get lost in the crowd.........then again I'd be opting for a wedding party of immediate family only.

Sugar Drunk

If anyone sent me an invite with 'cash only' or 'no cash gifts less than X' pure and simple I would refuse to go . who in the hell can demand that especially now that so many people are struggling to make ends meet? Surely people should be happy that guest came to celebrate their day regardless of the gitft they brought or the dress they wore?

personally i would rather get married abroad with a small group of friends and family!

The 'no kids' thing I do understand though. Its fine if your a kid person. Im definately not, i don't even want to have kids so having a rake of kids at a wedding reception would not be my idea of fun

stovelid

Women eh?

Two lads end up at wedding with same suit/tie/shirt: sly wink, laugh, followed by brief discussion on absurdity of partner-imposed formal wear regime before hitting the bar.

Two women end up at wedding with same outfit: civilization ends.

LolaLuv

Sugar Drunk wrote: »

The 'no kids' thing I do understand though. Its fine if your a kid person. Im definately not, i don't even want to have kids so having a rake of kids at a wedding reception would not be my idea of fun

That makes sense, if you aren't really kid-oriented it's understandable. But my whole family is pretty big on kids. The really insulting thing is that the brides at a couple of the weddings (the brides were marrying into my family) wouldn't let our side bring their kids, but some kids from their sides were there. That's just beyond rude in my opinion, makes for bad blood from the start.

irlrobins

Another thing people put on their invite: "No boxed gifts". Which is a polite way of saying "cash only".

Personally I think that it's a bit cheeky asking for cash. I understand some couples might have a property each coming into the marriage and therefore don't require household gifts that typically are bought as wedding presents. But I still wouldn't be impressed by being told to pay cash only. Neither do I like the idea of couples looking for cash to cover the cost of the day. That's not what the event is about!

Asking for travel vouchers, donation to charity or a having a wedding register is all fine by me.

As for turning up at a wedding wearing the same outfit, it can be embarassing if the other person is part of the bridal party, but among guests I think it's best just to laugh it off and just make sure you don't stand together for the photo.

Was at a wedding last Sat where two guests had the same green (Karen Millen funnily enough) dress. They had a laugh about it and that was that. No diva antics required!

kizzyr

irlrobins wrote: »

Another thing people put on their invite: "No boxed gifts". Which is a polite way of saying "cash only".

Personally I think that it's a bit cheeky asking for cash. I understand some couples might have a property each coming into the marriage and therefore don't require household gifts that typically are bought as wedding presents. But I still wouldn't be impressed by being told to pay cash only. Neither do I like the idea of couples looking for cash to cover the cost of the day. That's not what the event is about!

Asking for travel vouchers, donation to charity or a having a wedding register is all fine by me.

As for turning up at a wedding wearing the same outfit, it can be embarassing if the other person is part of the bridal party, but among guests I think it's best just to laugh it off and just make sure you don't stand together for the photo.

Was at a wedding last Sat where two guests had the same green (Karen Millen funnily enough) dress. They had a laugh about it and that was that. No diva antics required!

How tempted I'd be to get some monogrammed towels and take them out of the box and give them like that:D

Gaspode

Weddings- when you are expected to pay a fortune to behave like a lunatic.

kizzyr

deswalsh wrote: »

Weddings- when you are expected to pay a fortune to behave like a lunatic.

........and be grateful for the privilage:rolleyes:

phasers

no boxed gifts eh? I'd just stick a tesco kettle in a bag then.

"cash only" is the height of rudeness, there's no way I'd go to a wedding that had that on the invitations! And I'll wear what I like as well.

Toto Wolfcastle

phasers wrote: »

no boxed gifts eh? I'd just stick a tesco kettle in a bag then.

That's what I was thinking too!

Larianne

It must mean vouchers or money!!! The cheek.

marti101

xOxSinéadxOx wrote: »

i don't get why a bride would give a ****e if two people turned up wearing the same dress though. at least you could get your dress in coast and not worry about anyone else wearing it :cool:

Exactly it shouldnt bother her the only thing that should bother her if somebody turnd up in her dress that would give her something to complain about.:D

aidan24326

stovelid wrote: »

Even if well-intended, it's an unbelievably cheeky thing to put on a wedding invite.

+ 1
It's just cheeky full stop. Giving a present at all is discretionary, if I knew a guest at my wedding was a bit hard up I wouldn't be expecting a big present. Something small and genuinely thoughtful can be just as nice. Most people will give money now anyway but to ask for it straight out is plain rude. You're basically throwing a party and then asking the invited guests to pay for it.

tinkerbell wrote: »

I think it's a bit much saying no Karen Millen or Coast at weddings. If they don't want people wearing the same dresses as the bridesmaids, then they should tell their guests what colour dress the bridesmaids will wear so that nobody ends up getting the same thing

Well that would be the smart thing to do. It's easy enough to make sure nobody buys the bridesmaids dress, after that if any two women are wearing the same dress then so what.

Also, on the "cash only" on invites ... I don't think that's that cheeky ... It is normal to give presents at a wedding and I would rather give someone cash than pay the equivalent amount for some present that they might never use.

It is a person's individual choice to give a present though, it is not an obligation. A waiter in a restaurant can't say "that'll be 57 euros for the meal plus a tenner for my tip", it's a discretionary thing, as is giving someone a present.

And yes, weddings these days do cost a lot and sometimes it helps out the bride & groom financially to get cash rather than an actual present. Anyway that's my 2c

Yes they are expensive but if the couple can't afford a big wedding then don't have one. You can't have a bride (it's always the woman) going way over the top and oredering loads of expensive stuff then expecting the guests to pay for it.

I simply can't believe that some people were actually putting 'no cash gifts less than 150' on the invites. That is incredibly rude.

marti101

Well if it was only cash and if the couple has all their stuff from living together then id donate it to charity.Give them something to talk about.

lso

Has anyone actually received an invite that said "No Coast or Karen Millen Dresses"?

I'm beginning to think this is a bit of an urban myth - I've often heard of a friend of a friend getting one, but have never received an invitation like this or met someone who has received one themselves.

Also re Cash Gifts, again I've never explicitly seen a Cash Gifts only in an invite. Sometimes people will send out a discreet message that cash would be appreciated - as in if I ask the bridesmaid/bestman if they have ideas for gifts, then they might say that they think cash would be appreciated.

My bridesmaids wore Monsoon dresses and if someone had shown up in the same dress we would all have got a good giggle out of it - maybe staged some extra "wedding party" photos with the third bridesmaid;)

luvlylady

I've seen an invite (my cousin received, not me) with "Presents in envelopes please" on it. Can you get an envelope to fit a kettle?!

Toto Wolfcastle

luvlylady wrote: »

I've seen an invite (my cousin received, not me) with "Presents in envelopes please" on it. Can you get an envelope to fit a kettle?!

The sad thing is they probably sat down to plan out the 'nicest' way to ask for money!

barbiegirl

We're married 3 weeks. The bridemaid dresses were from Monsoon and we just put "The bridesmaids are wearing marine green" on the invites. Therefore no-one in the same dress.
We had no wedding list and if anyone asked we said that if they had something special or personal they wished to give we would be grateful. We got some presents, some vouchers and some cash, and appreciated everything we got, big or small, as they are meant as symbols to wish us good luck in our future lives, and every couple needs plenty of that.
Everyone was invited, kids and all. We had a fantastic very relaxed day that everyone enjoyed including me. Bridezillas don't enjoy the day their too caught up in controlling everything.

CathyMoran

Can understand about the Karen Millen or Coast request...2 of my sister in laws wore the same Karen Millen dresses to their civil ceremonys (they had their church weddings in Portugal so had to do it that way).

In terms of money being asked - well, that is rediculous. We did not have any list for ours, we were getting married for us in front of the people that we cared about, that was all that mattered. We did actually get a fair bit of money considering but we did not care about it.

ncmc

Sowra wrote: »

just read in an irish sunday mag that some brides are putting on wedding invites;
'no coast or karen millen dresses'

whats that all about? is there something wrong with those shops

This is the crazyest thing I have ever heard, firstly you're just a bride, not the dictator of a small country, people are going out of there way to spent your special day with you and you have the nerve to tell them what to wear!

Secondly, imagine if you had a Coast or KM dress already in your wardrobe that you planned on wearing again. You get this invitation, what do you do? Does the bride expect you to go and buy a new dress for every wedding you go to? It is beyond vulgar and rude.

Thirdly, if you have bought your bridemaids dresses in KM or Coast, well you have to expect that there is a possibility that someone will be wearing the same dress. If you are worried about this happening, then you would be better to buy the dresses in a smaller boutique where you are more likely to get an original dress. By the way, kudos to the bride who told the guests what colour the bridesmaids were in, none of this secrecy bullsh1t, just a nice polite way of telling people not to wear the same dress.

As for the cash only thing on an invitation, well, I always give cash (too lazy to shop) but if I was 'told' I had to, then I would seriously reconsider going to the wedding at all. People that put that on an invitation are not people I want to consort with.

I got married 5 years ago and we didn't have a bean, we really appreciated that most people gave us money. But the people that didn't? Well, we have a few nice presents that we got that we will always have as a memento. As for the bad presents, they were few and far between and didn't bother me at all. At the actual wedding itself, I couldn't have cared less if people turned up in jeans and a t-shirt. It was the happiest day of my life and I was just happy to have all my friends and family there to celebrate with me. I didn't care what they wore or what gifts they gave, I appreciated that they took a Friday off work and travelled to be there. If that isn't enough for brides, then the should really be looking at why they are getting married. *

*Sorry for the rant, this thread really made my blood boil!

E.T.

I can't imagine getting an invitation that said no Karen Millen or Coast. I'm 5 foot feck all, and size 16. I know I can walk into KM or Coast and get a dress that's going to make me look good - don't know of many other brands that can do the same! It's too hit and miss to get a dress off the internet for something as big as a wedding, and I can't afford to get a dress made for every wedding I'm invited to. Someone posted about an invitation that told people the colour the bridesmaids were going to wear - that makes a lot of sense. If someone was really vetoing KM or Coast so people wouldn't wear the same as their bridesmaids they'd be better off doing that instead.

Talliesin

irlrobins wrote: »

Another thing people put on their invite: "No boxed gifts".

Give them cutlery. Keep the box.

Scarinae

My mother received an invitation to her goddaughter's wedding which also had the wedding list in the envelope, and we thought that was a bit rude. But asking straight out for cash is incredibly rude! I would NOT be impressed!

muinteoir1

OMG that is the tackiest thing I have ever heard! Would they prefer if we all showed up in outfits from Dunnes and Pennys?????:eek: