Question for ladies aged 23 and over

ChocolateSauce · 19-09-2008 2:50pm #1

Hi ladies, hoping you could give me your two cents regarding the following question:

What would put/puts you off about younger men?

I guess this is a little embarassing to ask, but I'm a young man who finds little interest in younger women. I've had two much older girlfriends, who were 11 and 19 years older than me respectively, and we had great times, but they were the exceptions. I look about ten years older than I am and when I meet women, we get on well (or not at all, but in this example I'll stick to the more positive encounters), and sometimes really well. But about two thirds of the time when they find out they're older than me, they suddenly loose interest!

It can be a little upsetting for obvious reasons. So hence why I ask, is it something I do? Or is it them and some perception of younger men that puts them off? And is there anything I can do to counter this trend other than lying about my age? I only tell them if they ask.

Dudess · 19-09-2008 2:55pm

What age are you? I've always gone for older guys but I wouldn't rule out a guy of any age. If I find him attractive, I find him attractive. However I'm 30 so going out with a guy who's, say, 27 wouldn't be the same as when I was, say, 24 - I probably wouldn't have gone out with a 21-year-old then. But then again, I don't know...

Solarball10 · 19-09-2008 2:59pm

Tbh, I think there's still some sort of stigma attached to a woman going out with someone who's much younger...for example, I might kiss a guy who was like 19 or 20, but I deffo wouldn't go out with one - imagine the slagging I'd get?! I know a girl who's 26 and her b/f is 21...5 years would be too much for me. My own b/f is a year and a half younger than me (I'm 24), so that would be the limit for me

Dudess · 19-09-2008 3:04pm

Who cares about the slagging you get? That's not enough of a reason to not go out with someone if you really like them. As long as people are going to avoid doing stuff just because it has a stigma attached to it, the further that stigma will be reinforced.

And there's actually not that much of a difference between 21 and 26.

lolly22 · 19-09-2008 3:09pm

Dudess wrote: »

Who cares about the slagging you get? That's not enough of a reason to not go out with someone if you really like them. As long as people are going to avoid doing stuff just because it has a stigma attached to it, the further that stigma will be reinforced.

And there's actually not that much of a difference between 21 and 26.

I have to agree here. Your both adults and your both happy with eachother, then who cares what others think. But I know many women do have a thing about it and not sure what you could really do bout that ChocolateSauce, sorry.But imo there's nothing wrong with liking a younger man.

Solarball10 · 19-09-2008 3:12pm

Dudess wrote: »

Who cares about the slagging you get? That's not enough of a reason to not go out with someone if you really like them. As long as people are going to avoid doing stuff just because it has a stigma attached to it, the further that stigma will be reinforced.

And there's actually not that much of a difference between 21 and 26.

I know, I'm just saying that's how alot of women (me included) think.
I just think it's a little weird going out with a fella that's a lot younger than you...just my opinion!

Putting aside that, say you have a 20 year old guy going out with a 30 year old woman...they're at totally different stages in life! He wants to go out with his mates, get pished, basically live the life, and she's (more than likely) at a stage where she's thinking of marriage and babies...it's not exactly an ideal situation!

ellebelle · 19-09-2008 3:14pm

You could move to where I live.... most of the girls round here are with/married to guys that are from 2 - 10 yrs younger than them and for the most part are all very happy.

I wouldn't once upon a time look at guy that was even a little itty bit younger than me.............. then I matured....... (althought my mother wouldn't agree) anyway I have to say that now age does not really matter to me. However I would draw the line at someone under the age of 25 and for the very reason that I just think that from 25 on i only started to sort of better understand myself. I went out with a guy in my early twenties (21-25) who was 12 yrs older than me. Oh lord if I could go back now and talk to myself I would. I don't regret the relationship but it shouldn/'t have lasted as long as it did - you only get live those precious few years once and we often don't realise that until we've passed them.:(

So in short go out have fun chat up who ever you want, your age will matter to some people and not to others. People who don't draw boundaries and rules round their lives generally squeeze more out of life and they are the kind of people you will want to surround your self with.

Dudess · 19-09-2008 3:17pm

ozzyoh wrote: »

I just think it's a little weird going out with a fella that's a lot younger than you...just my opinion!

Do you think the other way round is weird?

ozzyoh wrote: »

Putting aside that, say you have a 20 year old guy going out with a 30 year old woman...they're at totally different stages in life! He wants to go out with his mates, get pished, basically live the life, and she's (more than likely) at a stage where she's thinking of marriage and babies...it's not exactly an ideal situation!

/shrug
If they want to be together then they'd obviously work around those factors... If these proved to be that much of a problem, then they wouldn't be together.

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:17pm

ozzyoh wrote: »

Tbh, I think there's still some sort of stigma attached to a woman going out with someone who's much younger...for example, I might kiss a guy who was like 19 or 20, but I deffo wouldn't go out with one - imagine the slagging I'd get?!..

It's not anyone's place to judge you on someone whose mouth you wish to stick your tongue into. That's your own goddamn business. If people are slagging you, then you know who your friends are and who aren't your friends. Do whatever the f--k you like and to Hell with what any narrrow-minded c-nts think. You can't enjoy your own life if you're concerned about other people's opinions all the time, so f--k 'em all. The vast majority of people are just full of sh1t anyway- myself included.

Actually, by even discussing this online, it's being made into an issue. Why should age between men and women in relationships matter? What's to debate about it? The only thing to debate regarding this sh1t comes back to the same, boring, repetitive f--king thing in any topic that raises people's hackles- WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK or what this person said, what that person told you, blahblahblahblahf--kingblah.

What a load of CRAP.

Solarball10 · 19-09-2008 3:19pm

LCDeelite wrote: »

It's not anyone's place to judge you on someone whose mouth you wish to stick your tongue into. That's your own goddamn business. If people are slagging you, then you know who your friends are and who aren't your friends. Do whatever the f--k you like and to Hell with what any narrrow-minded c-nts think. You can't enjoy your own life if you're concerned about other people's opinions all the time, so f--k 'em all. The vast majority of people are just full of sh1t anyway- myself included.

Actually, by even discussing this online, it's being made into an issue. Why should age between men and women in relationships matter? What's to debate about it? The only thing to debate regarding this sh1t comes back to the same, boring, repetitive f--king thing in any topic that raises people's hackles- WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK or what this person said, what that person told you, blahblahblahblahf--kingblah.

What a load of CRAP.

:eek::eek::eek:

*runs*

Nalz · 19-09-2008 3:20pm

LCDeelite wrote: »

It's not anyone's place to judge you on someone whose mouth you wish to stick your tongue into. That's your own goddamn business. If people are slagging you, then you know who your friends are and who aren't your friends. Do whatever the f--k you like and to Hell with what any narrrow-minded c-nts think. You can't enjoy your own life if you're concerned about other people's opinions all the time, so f--k 'em all. The vast majority of people are just full of sh1t anyway- myself included.

Actually, by even discussing this online, it's being made into an issue. Why should age between men and women in relationships matter? What's to debate about it? The only thing to debate regarding this sh1t comes back to the same, boring, repetitive f--king thing in any topic that raises people's hackles- WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK or what this person said, what that person told you, blahblahblahblahf--kingblah.

What a load of CRAP.

lol can someone remove the extremely high horse she rode in on

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:22pm

ozzyoh wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

*runs*

Oh, you have the runs, do you? There are some good remedies for that. Ask at your nearest pharmacy- I'm sure they'll be glad to assist you.

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:22pm

Trilla wrote: »

lol can someone remove the extremely high horse she rode in on

"She" who? Do I know you? Hope not.

Dudess · 19-09-2008 3:23pm

I don't see anything wrong with what LCDeelite's saying (not the way she's saying it though - wo!

)
She makes some very good points.

6th · 19-09-2008 3:23pm

She's kinda right though, just because someone is a tad abrasive doesnt mean they are wrong. Age shouldnt be an issue unless there are legal issues at play.

Solarball10 · 19-09-2008 3:24pm

LCDeelite wrote: »

Oh, you have the runs, do you? There are some good remedies for that. Ask at your nearest pharmacy- I'm sure they'll be glad to assist you.

Ahem - no I don't have diarhoea (sp?), (but for people who do, try califig, works wonders) I was insinuating running for cover, because you're SCARY :eek:

Chill, it's Friday.

Jules · 19-09-2008 3:26pm

LCDeelite - one more outburst and you will be banned for a week. Yes have opinions but put them across in a more respective manner.

Malari · 19-09-2008 3:26pm

I think ozzyoh's right. Even if you do accept there's nothing wrong with going out with a guy who's younger, you will always get the "toy boy" comments. Yes, don't pay attention to what anyone else thinks, but you do anything out of the ordinary and people WILL point it out for you.

I went out with someone 3 years younger than me but we were both under 25 so kind of into the same things, doing the same kind of jobs, hanging out with mutual friends, etc. Now I'm with someone nearly 10 years older and it is only since I met him that I realised how different in maturity he is. Not all guys are going to be the same in what they want, but nearly every guy I know who's under 30 still wants to go out and get hammered every weekend and I don't want that anymore!

Solarball10 · 19-09-2008 3:28pm

Dudess wrote: »

Do you think the other way round is weird?

A guy who's 10 years older than a girl? Actually, I do....a couple of years either way doesn't matter though....

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:28pm

Oh great- I've been given an online sex change courtesy of some random strangers on some website.

Cheers!

You're all so f--king sensitive and you can't see the bare bones of what something essentially is. Well, that's your funeral.

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:29pm

Jules wrote: »

LCDeelite - one more outburst and you will be banned for a week. Yes have opinions but put them across in a more respective manner.

Boo!

Silverfish · 19-09-2008 3:29pm

Malari wrote: »

I think ozzyoh's right. Even if you do accept there's nothing wrong with going out with a guy who's younger, you will always get the "toy boy" comments. Yes, don't pay attention to what anyone else thinks, but you do anything out of the ordinary and people WILL point it out for you.

I don't know, my boyfriend is 8 years younger than me, only one or two people have commented, but they soon just let it drop when they didn't get a reaction.
I don't really care. If I like someone, I'm not going to compromise my happiness so my 'friends' think I'm cool.
If people comment, they're either jealous, confused or stupid.

IvyTheTerrible · 19-09-2008 3:29pm

I've been going out with a guy for the last two years who is two years younger than me. He's more mature than his age though so it's grand. I've never gone out with anyone older than me, but that's because I took two years out from college, so everyone I met afterwards through work or study has been two years younger than me!

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:30pm

I never go near this forum anyway. This is the first time I ever bothered with this damn place (so it's no loss, trust me).

Now I understand why! :pac:

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:32pm

ozzyoh wrote: »

Chill, it's Friday.

To quote those fine craftswomen of 'music', Girls Aloud.. "I don't need no good advice."

Dudess · 19-09-2008 3:33pm

Malari wrote: »

I think ozzyoh's right. Even if you do accept there's nothing wrong with going out with a guy who's younger, you will always get the "toy boy" comments. Yes, don't pay attention to what anyone else thinks, but you do anything out of the ordinary and people WILL point it out for you.

Let them? Seeing as you advocated not paying any attention to them, what bearing will what they think have ultimately?

I went out with someone 3 years younger than me but we were both under 25 so kind of into the same things, doing the same kind of jobs, hanging out with mutual friends, etc.

Now I'm with someone nearly 10 years older and it is only since I met him that I realised how different in maturity he is. Not all guys are going to be the same in what they want, but nearly every guy I know who's under 30 still wants to go out and get hammered every weekend and I don't want that anymore!

I don't get the two comparisons. Both seem to have worked out well...

coffee_cake · 19-09-2008 3:33pm

I've never been in to the type of guy who goes out drinking every weekend. That tends to rule out a lot of them and probably most of the younger ones. All about different priorities- that said I wouldn't rule them out simply on age alone. I never thought I'd go out with someone my own age and yet I have for 2 years. Last ex was over 10 years older and a more immature idiot I have not had the misfortune to meet in some time.

Would also like to second the idea that "my mates might slag me so I can't" is idiocy.

Malari · 19-09-2008 3:35pm

Silverfish wrote: »

I don't know, my boyfriend is 8 years younger than me, only one or two people have commented, but they soon just let it drop when they didn't get a reaction.
I don't really care. If I like someone, I'm not going to compromise my happiness so my 'friends' think I'm cool.
If people comment, they're either jealous, confused or stupid.

Maybe it was just the age we were at the time. If he was 8 years younger than me then, he would have been 16 and THAT would have raised a few eyebrows!! I'd never comment on anyone else's relationship for different reasons, so why would I about age? Each to their own.

Dudess · 19-09-2008 3:36pm

LCDeelite wrote: »

Oh great- I've been given an online sex change courtesy of some random strangers on some website.

Cheers!

You're all so f--king sensitive and you can't see the bare bones of what something essentially is. Well, that's your funeral.

At the moment, this seems more appropriate:

Scaaaary...

LCDeelite · 19-09-2008 3:36pm

Jules wrote: »

.. Yes have opinions but put them across in a more respective manner.

Um.. Don't you mean "respectful"???? :rolleyes:

Jules · 19-09-2008 3:40pm

LCDeelite banned for a week. or change that to premaban, abusive pms are not very nice!

Question for ladies aged 23 and over

Comments