Question for ladies aged 23 and over

Malari

Dudess wrote: »

Let them? Seeing as you advocated not paying any attention to them, what bearing will what they think have ultimately?

I agree. I'm just saying people will point it out.

Dudess wrote: »

I don't get the two comparisons. Both seem to have worked out well...

yes, but both for different reasons. At different ages I want different things out of a relationship. In my experience, a guy who is younger than me now would still be into things I am no longer interested in doing.

ChocolateSauce

Ok, loads of replies and some catfights! I've managed to gather two main points:

1. No one wants a younger guy who goes out and gets pissed with his mates every weekend.

2. Most of you don't care in principle, but what a guy wants at that age matters.

Well, I don't have any "mates" and I don't drink more than one or two a night, so that's that sorted.

Since one of you asked, I'm recently turned 21.

All I can do is assume that the women who lost interest are the kind of women who do care, or are looking for something more. Yeah, I can safely say I'm not looking to settle down for at least 8 more years. I'm also a student. Would that very word put any of you off? I think it might...when I think of the word student I think of someone dependent on their parents who drinks heavily and has a higher-than-average chance of getting an SDI.

Would it be dishonest to avoid talking about being a student? I'm part time and I support myself, and I'm master of my own house so I don't think I fit into the "student" category.

Thanks for the replies.

Dudess

Well you sound way more mature than your 21 years. I'd have no problem going out with you.

Silverfish wrote: »

my boyfriend is 8 years younger than me

:eek: You obviously look way younger than over 30 and you obviously haven't told him you're over 30 cuz you know that would be just suicide, right?
Don't worry, your secret's safe with me...

coffee_cake

ChocolateSauce wrote:

Would it be dishonest to avoid talking about being a student?

Depends on what you're looking for. If you want a relationship with someone, you wouldn't want to be with someone who looks down on your age that way regardless of initital conversation, not to mention it'll come out anyway, right?
Keep on as you are tbh.

Silverfish

Dudess wrote: »

:eek: You obviously look way younger than over 30 and you obviously haven't told him you're over 30 cuz you know that would be just suicide, right?
Don't worry, your secret's safe with me...

Ahahahahaha.

Ahaha

Hoohoohoo. hahaha.

He does know my age, and I believe he's aware I'm not going to be dragging him up the aisle while hearing 'TICK TOCK TICK TOCK' in my ear.
Although, you know, I almost feel guilty for not being like that, since it's what a lot of men seem to expect women to be like....

Dudess

I'm just going by the sacred word of Twitching Anus.

I believe in Twitching Anus.

Ginny

I've gone out with older and younger blokes, tbh on average I've found the older blokes more immature, but then again thats probably just my crazy ex's.

TA was so right, I'm off to start my cat collection this weekend, and maybe buy one of those scary baby subsitute dolls.

Dudess

The Baby Jane look (see pic I posted earlier on this thread) would be pretty good.

Silverfish

GinnyJo wrote: »

TA was so right, I'm off to start my cat collection this weekend, and maybe buy one of those scary baby subsitute dolls.

I can lend you one of mine, so you can see if its for you?

Ginny

Oh great, I can grab a pram over the weekend too, so I can blend in with the other mammies.

*EDIT *jesus i googled those babydolls, scary scary things they are.

Terpsichore

Dear Sweet Chocolate Sauce,

I believe that it is never a good thing to try to generalise. There are all types of women out there, with different needs. Maybe some (more) mature women looking for a nice relationship with you! No strings attached.

The things that put off women are:

-bad attitude
-imature attitude
-matcho attitude
-selfish attitude
-negative attitude

Yes, you've guessed it! It's all about Attitude. Even older guys with the wrong attitude dont get girls You can be fat, young, bald, hugly, poor, etc and still be a wonderful, real human being that can attract women.

The only question is: Are you? Are you mature enough to enjoy life to the full, love to live, appreciate people, food, the world around you...? Hope you know what I mean!

Eh just in case: no, I'm not available. I've finally found my super hero. I'm over 30 and I'm sorted The way to him was long but playfull and adventurous. Sure I'm not the only one!

Good luck!

SpookyDoll

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

Ok, loads of replies and some catfights! I've managed to gather two main points:

1. No one wants a younger guy who goes out and gets pissed with his mates every weekend.

2. Most of you don't care in principle, but what a guy wants at that age matters.

Well, I don't have any "mates" and I don't drink more than one or two a night, so that's that sorted.

Since one of you asked, I'm recently turned 21.

All I can do is assume that the women who lost interest are the kind of women who do care, or are looking for something more. Yeah, I can safely say I'm not looking to settle down for at least 8 more years. I'm also a student. Would that very word put any of you off? I think it might...when I think of the word student I think of someone dependent on their parents who drinks heavily and has a higher-than-average chance of getting an SDI.

Would it be dishonest to avoid talking about being a student? I'm part time and I support myself, and I'm master of my own house so I don't think I fit into the "student" category.

Thanks for the replies.

Another thing that puts a lot of older women off younger men/older women relationships is fear of "generational sex tourists"
What does it mean?

You will get the young male contingent who are looking for a meal ticket with wild sex type of relationship with the older woman. A lot of older single women are happily independant, possibly have already got rid of some loser starter husband and there is no way they are going to give their time/love/intimacy to someone they suspect might take the pi$$ out of them. Their first thought could be:

"He thinks Im desperate for sex so will be easy and do anything"

(I recently saw a thread on here where a young lad was into this older woman he met in the pub, and the general male consensus was "go for it mate, shes bound to let you kick her back door in")

or

"Hes going to freeload off me"

Now I know this is not where you are coming from and you dont fit that stereotype but it happens, so you can see why older women could be reluctant!

I would say to make clear you are not one of these types, older women can be a suspicious lot, their experience makes them wary and well, you cant really blame em!

ChocolateSauce

Dudess wrote: »

Well you sound way more mature than your 21 years. I'd have no problem going out with you.

You flatter!

bluewolf wrote:

Depends on what you're looking for. If you want a relationship with someone, you wouldn't want to be with someone who looks down on your age that way regardless of initital conversation, not to mention it'll come out anyway, right?
Keep on as you are tbh.

Well that's kind of a problem...I don't know what I'm looking for. Do I want a one night stand? A two month fun relationshop? Or something more? I can't say. I guess I'd start with the first one and work my way up from there, if it works.

Terpsichore wrote:

The only question is: Are you? Are you mature enough to enjoy life to the full, love to live, appreciate people, food, the world around you...? Hope you know what I mean!

Hmm....I've learned that you need more than one source to get a good idea, so while I have my opinions on that I'd never take them as a matter of fact.

spookydoll wrote:

Now I know this is not where you are coming from and you dont fit that stereotype but it happens, so you can see why older women could be reluctant!

I would say to make clear you are not one of these types, older women can be a suspicious lot, their experience makes them wary and well, you cant really blame em!

I try not to make anything clear about myself...I hate talking about "what I'm like", and I think people who say things like "I'm the kind of guy" or "I'm not..." are trying to paint an idealised picture of themselves.

As for that horror story you told....yikes, what a mysigonistic pig. If I wanted just sex I could get it from any number of sources, including younger girls. Plus the "desperate older lady" stereotype would just scare me off! My ideal age would be late 20's.

Nevyn

It's not the age it is the maturity level.
I dated someone 12 years younger for 9 months.
Now that I am currently 33 would I date someone 10 years young then me ?
I would consider it, it would depend on thier maturity level, if I felt that I was constantly
have to explain things to them or they were embrassing me socially with thier behaviour
then that would be reasons for me to stop dating them.

pow wow

Turns me on: Them
Turns me off: Their mates :cool:

Agree with Thaedydal, it's about maturity and outlook. Age is only a number (once it's legal!).

If I was going to be fussy, which lets face it I'm not. :P
I would prefer a younger model.
Hopefully that means less emotional baggage, more openess, energy and hair.
At this stage I like the idea of growing with someone, so I'd prefer someone who is less settled in their ways.

OP I think so many women write you off , simply because they are at an stage where they are looking to settle down.
Age doesn't really effect my opinion of people. What is that attracts you to older women specifically, or turns you off of younger women?

Toto Wolfcastle

I'm not invited to this party as I wont be 23 for a month but I'll push on anyway!

It really is all down to maturity levels. If you're with someone who is similar to you in maturity, age shouldn't matter.

However, for a lot of people, conforming to social 'norms' is the deciding factor. Some people are easily led by what others think and wont go out with a younger guy even if there is a connection. You wouldn't want to be with that type of person anyway so it's all good!

If it's right, age wont matter. That's all there is to it.

Zaph

Moonbaby wrote: »

Hopefully that means less emotional baggage, more openess, energy and hair.

As long as it's not on their back, presumably?

Pen1987

Probably get some stick for this but, fcuk it - Just behave like youre older than her, control the relationship then she'll feel younger than you emotionally.

Zaph

Zaph wrote: »

As long as it's not on their back, presumably?

Honey is the body hair fascist....I like grizzley.

Zaph

Moonbaby wrote: »

Honey is the body hair fascist....I like grizzley.

Doh! My bad.

ChocolateSauce

Back Hair? Eh...I'll worry about getting some chest hair first :pac:. I've only recently mastered the art of needing to shave more than twice a month.

Ok, I think I've got all the info I need. Thanks everyone.

And to answer the question as to why I like older.....I think they have more to talk about. They're also more confident. The last younger person I was involved with was pretty, but didn't have much to say (and lacked experience...enthusiasm doesn't make up for). Not only that, she embarrassed me in front of my friends by being, frankly, immature and attention seeking. It really put me off. I liked older before that, but this was the eye-opener.

j0605

I'd just like to say that in my experience it’s down to the individual themselves and their own maturity level.
I'm 25 and was recently dating a 33year old man and I have to say at times it was like hanging around with my 16 year old brother. He was moody and sulked if he thought I was giving he friends or my friends more attention than him.
He spent his time nagging and telling me how to be a good girlfriend!
If that's the way the older men carry on, Id much rather spend time with boys my own age, who can get involved in a group and have a laugh

Zaph

j0605, there's no need to re-format the text in your posts. The default text is perfectly adequate and easily legible. I've removed the tags from your post because they weren't working properly and made the post difficult to read.

j0605

Sorry about that, think it was when i used the spell check

j0605

j0605 wrote: »

I'd just like to say that in my experience it’s down to the individual themselves and their own maturity level.
I'm 25 and was recently dating a 33year old man and I have to say at times it was like hanging around with my 16 year old brother. He was moody and sulked if he thought I was giving he friends or my friends more attention than him.
He spent his time nagging and telling me how to be a good girlfriend!
If that's the way the older men carry on, Id much rather spend time with boys my own age, who can get involved in a group and have a laugh

And how pray tell was a good girlfriend supposed to behave?

estebancambias

lol at that thought. im just thinking now imagine if i was going out with someone who was like 30 years old. i doubt my jokes would work too well tbh.

I'd say its even impossible for like a 1st year, 18 yr old student to have a relationship with a third year 21 year old student.

Dudess

Meh, it's more about maturity than age.

Kotick

To answer the thread question, for me, the answer is simple. When you meet a woman who is a lot older than you, chances are she's looking for keeps, as in marriage and all that jazz. A younger guy may not stick around for the long haul so it's easier to nip it in the bub now rather than be hurt later on.

Also, often times they are less mature making you feel like you're taking advantage of a little kid or someone with retardation.

Zaph

estebancambias wrote: »

lol at that thought. im just thinking now imagine if i was going out with someone who was like 30 years old. i doubt my jokes would work too well tbh.

I'd say its even impossible for like a 1st year, 18 yr old student to have a relationship with a third year 21 year old student.

I think impossible is stretching it a bit. The evidence on this thread suggests that most of the women here would have no problem going out with a guy younger than them.