Upcoming big brother state: Mandatory chip implants for all

towel401 · 22-09-2008 11:22pm #1

Biffo confirms it! By the end of of the year everyone will have to pay 99.99 eur for their mandatory tracking implant that can be tracked by the Gardee and other European law enforcment agencies from 200m. If you choose to upgrade to the 149.99 chip they will be able to signal the chip to release poison into your bloodstream causing instant death.

Initially this will be used to stop terrorists, axe murderers and the like but by 2010 it will be used to execute on demand drivers without valid NCT certificates and P2P users. A 10 million euro deal with Vodafone, plc allows authorities to track 90% of the population at any given moment and send out emergency execution signals.

Wazdakka · 22-09-2008 11:24pm

I for one welcome our new chip implanting overlords..

I'm tightening the chinstrap on my tinfoil hat in anticipation.

22-09-2008 11:25pm

I concur.

swingking · 22-09-2008 11:27pm

was anyone else surprised when this thread wasn't started by run for the hills ??

brianthebard · 22-09-2008 11:28pm

Mmmm, chips....

staker · 22-09-2008 11:28pm

beat me to it swingking:rolleyes:

Run_to_da_hills · 22-09-2008 11:30pm

swingking wrote: »

was anyone else surprised when this thread wasn't started by run for the hills ??

naw, were too premature for all that and It won't come from Biffo

Calibos · 22-09-2008 11:50pm

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

You're mocking me aren't you?

LOL, I thought to myself, "thats strange the OP isn't Run_to_da_Hills"..............................aha, but he's posted in it!

bluemachaveli · 22-09-2008 11:55pm

Don't worry, it will prob be handled by the health system!
The whole thing should be up and running by oh say 2090?

Run_to_da_hills · 23-09-2008 12:05am

bluemachavel wrote: »

Don't worry, it will prob be handled by the health system!
The whole thing should be up and running by oh say 2090?

No, My guess is that it will come from the entertainment industry

http://www.volweb.cz/horvitz/os-info/rfid-cool.jpg

Savman · 23-09-2008 12:10am

THEY'RE COMING TO GIT YA!

Darragh29 · 23-09-2008 12:17am

I wouldn't worry for the moment, it'll probably be either delivered ten years after it was due, not at all, or it will be hit by the cutbacks in next months budget!

Wazdakka · 23-09-2008 12:19am

Darragh29 wrote: »

it'll probably be either delivered ten years after it was due, not at all

3D Realms get the order then?

DanGerMus · 23-09-2008 12:57am

This is one of McCains big policies in his campaign accross the water too. I hope he's declared his vested interest in chip manufacture though.

23-09-2008 1:44am

Firmware being developed by microsoft, this means that every time you pass a sensor you must stand still for 30 minutes while your chip is upgraded.

Ciaran500 · 23-09-2008 7:58am

€100?

**** that.

Silenceisbliss · 23-09-2008 8:02am

im going to swap the poison in my chip with valium

on a more realistic tone. they should do this in jails. cons who get out keep the things implanted so they can be tracked and killed at the push of a button

Wazdakka · 23-09-2008 8:24am

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

on a more realistic tone. they should do this in jails. cons who get out keep the things implanted so they can be tracked and killed at the push of a button

They had that in Fortress

The implants exploded... and were magnetic... and the prison was watched by this big evil AI..

Damn I gotta go download purchase that legally.
Haven't seen it in years.

all the stars · 23-09-2008 8:52am

How about "eh, no"

Sorry lads , wont be having it. :pac:

Run_to_da_hills · 23-09-2008 12:34pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Firmware being developed by microsoft, this means that every time you pass a sensor you must stand still for 30 minutes while your chip is upgraded.

What !!! 30 minutes to flash firmware !! This is 2008 not 1984.

javaboy · 23-09-2008 12:36pm

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

This 2008 not 1984.

Clever.

boogle · 23-09-2008 12:46pm

Mmmmmm chips.....

b0bsquish · 23-09-2008 12:47pm

Down with this sort of thing.

Ive already embedded my chip in ____ __ ....yeah.

Danbo! · 23-09-2008 12:56pm

Miniature american flags for others?

javaboy · 23-09-2008 1:09pm

towel401 wrote: »

A 10 million euro deal with Vodafone, plc allows authorities to track 90% of the population at any given moment and send out emergency execution signals.

I notice they went with Vodafone and not Meteor. There's nothing more annoying than trying to send out emergency execution signals only to get the old "The deviant you are trying to execute is not in coverage or may have their implant powered off".