support

s08t

Hi.Im a 24 year old female and have had a stammer for as long as I can remember.I left school because of it when I was 16(I know what youre thinking,not a perfect thing to do)because I found it really difficult and embarrasing reading out in class and communicating with other people as I was so quiet so therefor didnt have that much friends.Since leaving school Ive been working.Thats ok but I hold back from talking to people, when I do talk to people they just hurry me up by guessing what im trying to say or just walking away.I would love to leave and live all my dreams and do everything I want to do but my speech is so holding me back.Everytime I talk I get these severe blocks which nothing comes out and I get so frustrated and filled with anxiety.I did the patmar course and found it helpful they gave me a stretching technique to help me,this was working for a couple of weeks and I know if I am consistent with it will be brill but then I went off course because of having no confidence and everytime I try it now I get so bogged down into it and I get depressed about the whole thing.Im doing an assertiveness course soon so hopefully that will give me the confidence I need to get back on track.I was really writing for some support or advice from people who was or who is in a similar situation as myself. I would be so much appreciated.thanks

Stephen P

Hi, welcome to boards.ie
I'm going through a bad blocking period at the moment so I know how you feel. It can be very frustrating when something you want to say doesn't come out or you're afraid to speak incase you block bad. What I recommend to you is to try and work through it. I know you'll feel embrassed and ashamed and wondering what other people think but you have to try to work through it. 8 times out of 10 other people won't notice or won't give any reaction, but you will get people that give negative reactions but that's their problem and they should get a life.
I haven't been to a support meeting for a while now but when I do go I find they are great help. If you scan through this forum you'll get info on the ISA support meeting on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of every month in the Carmichael House in Dublin City Centre @ 8pm.

Michael O Shea

Hi,
Sorry I did not see your thread until now, having stammered severly myself for nearly forty years, I can relate to how you feel regarding your verbal communication with the real world as it is something I will never forget.

Stammering is a very complicated communication disorder, the professional community have been doing reseach and reports on stammering for decades, they have in fairness made great strides with children, stammering in adults is a different matter entirely.

My advice is to get involved in a stammering support group, as Steven advised there is one in Dublin. Speak to the people who run the Dublin Adult Stammering course, talk to other people who have done work on and made good progress with their own speech.

Remember you are not alone regarding stammering, there is an average of 45,000 plus people who stammer in Ireland. There is also a significent number of websites and chat rooms world wide where you can learn a lot about your stammering, contributions are made by people who stammer just like ourselves plus the professional speech community many who specialise in stammering.

This site is also very good, if the people who stammer and the Irish professional speech community and interested individuals would contribute a bit more it would be to everyones benifit, it would lead us all to understanding and learning more as there is much more that unites us then divides us in our efforts to support and empower each other to have a good quality of life regarding verbal communication.

gmc123

Hi S08t
Seems you have walked a well trodden path. I am now in my mid thirties and freed myself not from the stammer but from the fear of it - which by itself has all but removed the stammer. In my case I took a mental approach - I came to recognise the severe damage mentally and emotionally this was doing to me and the detremental effect it was having on my personal and financial future.

First surround yourself with postive people and feed off their energy - cut the dead wood and nay sayers from your life - not easy but it works.

Understand that their is nothing wrong with having a stammer - you are not going to hell because of it !!!.

Understand also that if - God Forbid- you had a physical disability with similar emotional and future consequences you would have a blue sticker on your car and receive rehab grants (in saying this I do not begrudge any people in this situation any of the help they get at all - in fact they need more). And yet despite all of this you and other people with a stammer rise out bed each morning, to face a potentially hostile world and go to work or school and keep coming back for more. Any one who does that, you included are beyond courage and should recognise that you are a special good decent person deserving of all the good in life.

Realise also that your stammer depends on you for survival you dictate to it not the other way round. I wake every morning and have a little conversation with my stammer just to remind it whose boss!!! - sounds crazy but it works for me.

Lastely remember you are not alone and there is no shame in seeking and getting help.

Good Luck