First Year needs advice on meeting friends

amdublin

Hi all,

Wonder can you help me. My little sister has just started in Maynooth (Arts) and she's feeling really lonely and out of sorts. She's the only one from her school and she says that she feels like everyone is in groups already. She says that everyone seems to disperse really quickly after lectures and she doesn't get a chance to talk to anyone.

Anyone got any tips or advice for me to give her?

Or any stories to help her - how long was it for you before you made your college friends?

Will things maybe get better for her when she starts tutorials next week?

Thanks in advance!

Feathers

Hey,

tutorials are good alright as you're in small groups of maybe ten or so - you can get chatting to people if you're there a few minutes before the tutor or whatever..

But Clubs & Societies are the way to go - they have Fairs Day (think it could be called "Clubs and Societies Day" this year) on Wed. Oct 1st. If she picks a few she likes or thinks she would like to try & goes along for the first few times they're meeting up at least.

From experience, Clubs & Socs in Maynooth are very welcoming to first years (well, to any new people really) & common interests help to form friendships & give you something to talk about.

I came with to Maynooth with a few friends and my class was small too so that helped. But the people I'm still good mates with now are 90% people that I've met through extra curricular stuff. & a lot of them I didn't meet til 2nd year either!

PS - tell her to sign up to the Galway Cycle! It's not until April, but she'll definitely make great friends & craic is savage. *End of cheeky plug*

Feathers

Feathers wrote: »

PS - tell her to sign up to the Galway Cycle! It's not until April, but she'll definitely make great friends & craic is savage. *End of cheeky plug*

oh oh is there a bike shop on campus like is UCD?

waghag

Tell her she's not alone , I had the exact same problem in first year. Came up from Kilkenny , the only one from my school and I found that in lectures and in the apartment on campus everyone was in groups. I would talk to people in lectures and as soon as they were over they all scattered off in their groups. I joined a few clubs and went to the meetings and everyone there knew each other too and I was getting desperate.
In tutorials I met 2 people that are still friends and I also got involved with the drama soc which is also a great way to meet friends because you're stuck together for hours even if she's not into performing she can just e-mail them and they'll let her work behind the scenes.
People might tell her to hang out in the SU etc... but to be honest that's hard to do- to walk in and sit on your own like an eejit.
I have to say I found the first year hard enough because I'm a bit shy and don't make friends easily but it got better and I have a few close friends now that'll probably be life-long friends.
I'd also say that she should have a look around in lectures for people sitting alone and go over and sit with them and say hi. Chances are they'll be delighted because they are in the same situation and she could even ask them at the end of the lecture if they want to grab some food - the worst they can say is no. I'm in my final year and my friends don't do the same subjects so I sit on my own for most lectures and I'd be fine with someone coming over for a chat.

ste-ven

I started out in maynooth this year to and there are alot of people with her problem. If she ever wants to come over to the SU thats a great way of meeting new people or even come down with my buddies thats no problem I kmow how hard it can be to meet new people

philologos

I'm in first year as well, and the amount of people you get to know by just talking to the people beside you and all of that.

whiteandlight

Hi there, I was the same when I started in Maynooth-no one from my school there. I was lucky in that I ended up becoming best friends with two of my apartment campus buddies. I second jackass in just literally turning around to the person in the queue beside you or in your lecture at the start or the end, it can really help in just knowing faces to sit beside especially in the larger lectures which can be pretty daunting.

When it comes to clubs and socs I really think it depends on the activity and the level of involvement that you put into it. I was a big socs addict with Drama and Gospel Choir. Drama in particular is deadly coz as was already said you tend to live breath and eat the play for the last weeks before the show so you get to know people whether you like it or not! They run (at least they did last year) a freshers festival which is completely designated for first timers to the stage/directing/producing etc which is ideal for someone who is nervous. If they're into music either I happen to know they are running musical auditions next week (Wish me luck ) Jesus Christ Superstar, you'd have to check on campus for times and stuff.

Gospel again is music based but it is a deadly chilled out group. You don't have to audition or sing on your own or anything like that and there's always a half time break so you can get to know people during that. They run concerts and usually end up in the pub after rehearsals on a wednesday night.

From the su website, clubs and socs (what happened to fairs day?!!) is running next wednesday in the big sports hall so well worth while to attend. One word of warning though don't get suckered into joining loads of them!!! Remember 2e for a lollipop is not good shopping

dcugirl18

Im a first year too and finding the same problem! was in DCU last year and finding it quite a big change down here, in science so very big lectures and again everyone seems to be in big groups but im hoping that ill make a few friends in the labs when the groups get smaller.

LeixlipRed

1st Science? Were you in my all class tutorial this morning? Smaller class group, more relaxed atmosphere, possibly easier to make friends. And tutorials start next week so even better

Rozabeez

See signature link, make friends!

Sorry! *coughitsnotjustforbiscuitloverscough*

Clubs and socs should make a huge difference tbh!

P!nk

I found labs where a great way to meet friends, I didnt know anybody in first year either and in labs your given partners to do experiments with, Im still friends with those people years later! I was and still am very shy so if shes like me it might take some time but it'll be worth it!

BarryDoodles

run for an election of any sort, i ran for first year rep and made a good few friends that way also tell your sis not to be afraid we all know theres people out there that get lonely, last thursday we made it a point to befriend a guy sitting alone in the su (she will find friends)

Nision

Clubs and Socs are definitly the way to go.

Nision

Clubs and Socs are definitely the way to go.

Norrdeth

Speaking of clubs and socs! The music soc A.G.M. is on this Tuesday at 6pm in Rye hall, should be worth heading to, food and drink there also!! Lots of cool people, and no we're not all music snobs! hehe

URCHEEEZ

I'm all for striking up conversation with randomers! Once u make eye contact with someone and they seem to reply in a positive way, just go over and say hey!

I was in the same position when I was in first year ... painfully shy, knew no-one and stayed in digs on my own!

I soon learned to "take the bull by the horns" and say hello to some randomers and im SO glad I did!I'm in 3rd year now and hafta say my time in nooth has been amazing thanks 2 the friends I made!:P

Rozabeez

Eye-contact....say 'hey'?

*takes notes*

I WILL talk to the hot red-head!

castie

Dont make friends with Roe, she invites you on nights out and then runs away when you get there.

Norrdeth

Rozabeez wrote: »

Eye-contact....say 'hey'?

*takes notes*

I WILL talk to the hot red-head!

Who me?

Rozabeez

Are you in my Anthropology class?

Rozabeez

castie wrote: »

Dont make friends with Roe, she invites you on nights out and then runs away when you get there.

That was ONCE!!

Clare Bear

Where is she living? If she's in rented accomodation then housemates are great if they're nice, they'll introduce you to more people. If she's living at home or in digs I would suggest trying to move in with other students if that's a possibility.

Norrdeth

Emmm dont think so, i'm in music, i recently turned ginger.

Kazuma

castie wrote: »

Dont make friends with Roe, she invites you on nights out and then runs away when you get there.

+1
Roe haz a scary.

URCHEEEZ

LOL!!

Rozabeez

personal abuse!

FoxyTwinkles

I'm in the exact same position... Its November now and I'm still floating around on my own. Thing is, I have talked to loads of people, I know loads of people, but I just haven't made any solid friends, if that makes sense. Its turning into a huge problem to be honest.

Rozabeez

FoxyTwinkles wrote: »

I'm in the exact same position... Its November now and I'm still floating around on my own. Thing is, I have talked to loads of people, I know loads of people, but I just haven't made any solid friends, if that makes sense. Its turning into a huge problem to be honest.

Do you go out much in Maynooth? A great way to make solid friends is to get smashed with them then have hungover giggles over breakfast. I take it you don't live on campus? **cough**clickmysig**Cough**

I dunno really, it was actually this week last year that I formed most of my solid friendships that are still going, due to a party and shenanigans.

Kazuma

Rozabeez wrote: »

Do you go out much in Maynooth? A great way to make solid friends is to get smashed with them then have hungover giggles over breakfast. I take it you don't live on campus? **cough**clickmysig**Cough**

I dunno really, it was actually this week last year that I formed most of my solid friendships that are still going, due to a party and shenanigans.

Was that Noelly Woelly's birfdee partee last year?