Cards You'll Never See In Hallmark

rocky25

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder:.............
What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!.............
Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you............
have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love.........
After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...........
I never believed in Hell until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am.......
that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've
given me.
Like the need for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!..........
I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,.........
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married............
but not to you."

"You look great for your age.......
Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for
me.........
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your
promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my
best friend.......
So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time...........
What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you..................
It's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...............
Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship
and there was only one life jacket....
I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday

---

So we're having you put to sleep."

shoelaceface

Sorry to hear you are dying but Sh/it happens

Just a little thank you.. for your husband. Sorry about the difficult divorce.

Happy birthday, cant believe you are still alive, doubt you will see another one.

fergusm76

My Tyre was thumping
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the wheel
I saw your cat... Sorry


So your daughter's a hooker
And it's not your day
But look on the bright side
She's a really good lay.