Quotes from nights out

shellyboo

SDooM: "My sex has never been on fire"


Everyone else: LOL.

anonymous_joe

Oooh, I think there was an STD comment, possibly stupidly made by me that lead to something similar. May be confusing nights out here.

Futurecrook

From the tablequiz...

He's willing to accept cock... - about whether the answer was rooster or cock.

Oh come on, if you accept cock you have to take ass... - Nerin's Ninjettes contesting whether a make donkey is a jack or an ass...

Turns out we were wrong but it made for some interesting innuendo.

That's not what mine looks like... - 6th talking about the "pointing finger" he drew on Aoibheann's arm.

star-pants

I was hoping someone I didn't like would pull that out

DJ Depeche

I was clapping whilst you were thrusting at me

Can I smell that?

feylya

I'm a dirty dirty boy.........wash me.

orestes

feylya wrote: »

I'm a dirty dirty boy.........wash me.

/shudder

Nevyn

Will

was working paddys night, some rugger bugger came up to me and said;

"it isn't paddy's day roysh! it's fockin senior cup day!!!"

I facepalmed.

lolly22

Galvasean said to Lolly on the night linkies about an hour ago ....


"Oh yeah, wasnt Randy supposed to come tonight" :pac:

randylonghorn

lolly22 wrote: »

"Oh yeah, wasnt Randy supposed to come tonight" :pac:

I must reassure him on that point, if he's so concerned with my output! :pac:

Galvasean

Barman: "Its okay, you're allowed play with your little man."

SDoom: "Its Fisto!"

Rozabeez

Flying_squirl was asked how many cocks he had...srsly, and it wasnt me!

flying _squirl

Rozabeez wrote: »

Flying_squirl was asked how many cocks he had...srsly, and it wasnt me!

well i guess its not how many you have...
*puts on sunglasses*
its how you use them!


YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

RxQueen

when i asked flying squirl did he want some hand cream , he said " no thanks im driving"


took a trip on the lolotrain for that one , seriously its the lil things!! :pac:!

Nerin

Sdoom: "you have a mouth, use it"




Fonpokno:"this is your fault!"
???:"what, your hair?"
Fonpokno: "Noo, INSIDE MY HAIR!!!!"





Fonpokno: "swallowing is difficult..."

Richard Cranium

A friend of mine was offered a tomato on a night out for some reason. His response:

"Ah no, I wouldn't touch that. The only vegetable I eat is beer."

WeeBushy

I was asked by a close friend one night where I bought the shirt I was wearing.

My response: I don't wear pajamas.

I didn't really know what she said in the first place but for some reason guessed that she was asking about something to do with my night wear.

Jesus Wept

Richard Cranium wrote: »

A friend of mine was offered a tomato on a night out for some reason. His response:

"Ah no, I wouldn't touch that. The only vegetable I eat is beer."

Tomato is a fruit, JOKES ON HIM.
:pac:

Richard Cranium

The-Rigger wrote: »

Tomato is a fruit, JOKES ON HIM.
:pac:

:pac: Yeah. I was going to point that out at the time but I decided against it, as I'd probably be wiping the tomato off my face for being a pedant. Of course I pointed it out every time I retold that little anecdote (because I am indeed a pedant:D).

girl_friday

monkeyfudge wrote: »

You'll all be pleased to know that my cock and balls made it home safely.

star-pants wrote: »

@MF, yes... yes you did stick that down my top after it got wet...

:eek:

star-pants

SP: Hi, who are you?
Man: I'm Dan
SP: Are you on boards?
Man: Yes
SP: What's your username ?
Man: Regi
....
....
SP: cool I'm star-pants

Galvasean

Lankysexybeast: Yeah, boob lifts are overrated. I like a bitta bounce.

Galvasean: It's all very shallow isn't it? Although that said if the scrotal lift ever becomes affordable in my lifetime I'll probably avail of one.

*Aisling turns head towards conversation very slowly*

randylonghorn

Galvasean wrote: »

*Aisling turns head towards conversation very slowly*

I can actually visualise that perfectly!!

gar120

The-Rigger wrote: »

Tomato is a fruit, JOKES ON HIM.
:pac:

Yeah but you wouldn't put it in a fruit salad!

madmac187

Worst ever ' Its all over my face and eeeew its in my hair, baby wipes now'

Jesus Wept

gar120 wrote: »

Yeah but you wouldn't put it in a fruit salad!

Sure I would.

Lana80

A guy was coming on to me one night,and practically the second sentence out of his mouth was "have you a bushy box?". I was in semi shock at the time(young and innocent then),but had a good laugh about it with my friend once I got rid of him.

Homicidal_jesus

friend---''i swear if you talk again ill take my pants off''

me---''oh jesus i fcukin love racial minorites''

flying _squirl

Paperclip:
*stands up, asserts herself with an air of authority and an extremely serious face shouts (at me and lolly)* "YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW WIDE I AM!!!"

im not sure what she was even talking about in the first place :pac:

shellyboo

The lollies and bubbles made for many, many hilarious sucking/blowing quotes...

grames_bond

flying _squirl wrote: »

Paperclip:
*stands up, asserts herself with an air of authority and an extremely serious face shouts (at me and lolly)* "YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW WIDE I AM!!!"

that was funny in so many ways!

Fago!

1: Fella was desribing his mate who tried to get some girl, who was flirting with him, to stop and be turned off him, and ended up attracting her more.

He just said "Jesus Christ if you're gonna do something wrong, do it right!!!!"

2: Jesus, she's a Roide!! I'd bang her so hard the person who managed to pull me out of her would be crowned King of England!!!

skywards

Fago_25 wrote: »

2: Jesus, she's a Roide!! I'd bang her so hard the person who managed to pull me out of her would be crowned King of England!!!

That just made my night ahaha. Best..quote..ever

RxQueen

Doom: I love some fringe


or something to tha effect, feel free to edit it, but i very much lol'd

trowelled

emo!! wrote: »

Doom: I love some fringe


or something to tha effect, feel free to edit it, but i very much lol'd

Oh yes I remember that. Doomy was all about the fringe

Doctor DooM

I believe it was something like "I'm all about the fringe".

RxQueen

ah yeah tha was it

Phractal

Girl: want to come upstairs and sleep?
My mate: not tired, think Ill sit here and drink
Girl: wanna come upstairs and... Not sleep?
My mate: *looks at beer and fags* nah I am grand here
Girl: you sad ****
My mate: yeah.
Girl: you suck
My mate: thats cool
Girl: as in, I have a condom. You suck.
My mate: yeah. Whatever. *lights fag. Has beer* *girl leaves in disgust*.

We call that night vietnam for a reason. Another quote:
"holy **** man are these like micro condoms?" the reply "they fit me fine" LOL. FAIL.

Morag

/Sets fire to the cobwebs.....


Random quotes from Wolfies beers part 1


"I hear you like Transformers"

"Nobody tells me anything, oh god I sound like my mother"

"did you make him shave it"

"it was a technical kick"

"she looks like a Dalmatian dancing, it's distracting"

"this is culture, we are looking at the birth of a new sport"

cyberwolf77

"I'm a vegetarian, but I want a chicken sandwich"

Handsome Bob

Sharrow wrote: »

"she looks like a Dalmatian dancing, it's distracting"

Who said this, they may well be a legend.

RxQueen

cyberwolf77 wrote: »

"I'm a vegetarian, but I want a chicken sandwich"

I guessing I said that!!!!

cyberwolf77

Yes, yes you did.

RxQueen

that chicken sandwhich was pretty damn fine!!!!